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I HAVE often felt a motion of love to leave some hints in writing of myexperience of the goodness of God, and now, in the thirty-sixth year of my age,I begin this work.
I was born in Northampton, in Burlington County, West Jersey, in the year1720. Before I was seven years old I began to be acquainted with the operationsof divine love. Through the care of my parents, I was taught to read nearly assoon as I was capable of it; and as I went from school one day, I remember thatwhile my companions were playing by the way, I went forward out of sight, andsitting down, I read the twenty-second chapter of Revelation: "He showed me apure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne ofGod and of the Lamb," etc. In reading it, my mind was drawn to seek after thatpure habitation which I then believed God had prepared for His servants. Theplace where I sat, and the sweetness that attended my mind, remain fresh in mymemory. This, and the like gracious visitations, had such an effect upon methat when boys used ill language it troubled me; and, through the continuedmercies of God, I was preserved from that evil.
The pious instructions of my parents were often fresh in my mind, when Ihappened to be among wicked children, and were of use to me. Having a largefamily of children, they used frequently, on First-days, after meeting, to set us one after another to read the Holy Scriptures, or some religious books, therest sitting by without much conversation; I have since often thought it was agood practice. From what I had read and heard, I believed there had been, inpast ages, people who walked in uprightness before God in a degree exceedingany that I knew or heard of now living: and the apprehension of there beingless steadiness and firmness amongst people in the present age often troubledme while I was a child.
I may here mention a remarkable circumstance that occurred in my childhood.
On going to a neighbour's house, I saw on the way a robin sitting on her nest,and as I came near she went off ; but having young ones, she flew about, andwith many cries expressed her concern for them. I stood and threw stones ather, and one striking her, she fell down dead. At first I was pleased with theexploit, but after a few minutes was seized with horror, at having, in asportive way, killed an innocent creature while she was careful for her young.
I beheld her lying dead, and thought those young ones, for which she was socareful, must now perish for want of their dam to nourish them. After somepainful considerations on the subject, I climbed up the tree, took all theyoung birds, and killed them, supposing that better than to leave them to pineaway and die miserably. In this case I believed that Scripture proverb wasfulfilled, "The tender mercies of the wicked are cruel." I then went on myerrand, and for some hours could think of little else but the cruelties I hadcommitted, and was much troubled. Thus He whose tender mercies are over all Hisworks hath placed a principle in the human mind, which incites to exercisegoodness towards every living creature; and this being singly attended to,people become tender-hearted and sympathizing; but when frequently and totallyrejected, the mind becomes shut up in a contrary disposition.
About the twelfth year of my age, my father being abroad, my mother reprovedme for some misconduct, to which I made an undutiful reply. The next First-day,as I was with my father returning from meeting, he told me that he understood Ihad behaved amiss to my mother, and advised me to be more careful in future. Iknew myself blamable, and in shame and confusion remained silent. Being thusawakened to a sense of my wickedness, I felt remorse in my mind, and on gettinghome, I retired and prayed to the Lord to forgive me, and I do not rememberthat I ever afterwards spoke unhandsomely to either of my parents, howeverfoolish in some other things.
Having attained the age of sixteen years, I began to love wanton company; andthough I was preserved from profane language or scandalous conduct, yet Iperceived a plant in me which produced much wild grapes; my merciful Father didnot, however, forsake me utterly, but at times, through His grace, I wasbrought seriously to consider my ways; and the sight of my backslidingsaffected me with sorrow, yet for want of rightly attending to the reproofs ofinstruction, vanity was added to vanity, and repentance to repentance. Upon the whole, my mind became more and more alienated from the truth, and I hastenedtoward destruction. While I meditate on the gulf towards which I travelled, andreflect on my youthful disobedience, for these things I weep, mine eye runnethdown with water.
Advancing in age, the number of my acquaintance increased, and thereby my waygrew more difficult. Though I had found comfort in reading the Holy Scripturesand thinking on heavenly things, I was now estranged therefrom. I knew I wasgoing from the flock of Christ and had no resolution to return, hence seriousreflections were uneasy to me, and youthful vanities and diversions were mygreatest pleasure. In this road I found many like myself, and we associated inthat which is adverse to true friendship.
In this swift race it pleased God to visit me with sickness, so that Idoubted of recovery; then did darkness, horror, and amazement with full forceseize me, even when my pain and distress of body were very great. I thought itwould have been better for me never to have had being, than to see the daywhich I now saw. I was filled with confusion, and in great affliction, both ofmind and body, I lay and bewailed myself. I had not confidence to lift up mycries to God, whom I had thus offended; but in a deep sense of my great folly Iwas humbled before Him. At length that word which is as a fire and a hammerbroke and dissolved my rebellious heart; my cries were put up in contrition;and in the multitude of His mercies I found inward relief, and a closeengagement that if He was pleased to restore my health I might walk humblybefore Him.
After my recovery this exercise remained with me a considerable time, but bydegrees giving way to youthful vanities, and associating with wanton youngpeople, I lost ground. The Lord had been very gracious, and spoke peace to mein the time of my distress, and I now most ungratefully turned again to folly;at times I felt sharp reproof, but I did not get low enough to cry for help. Iwas not so hardy as to commit things scandalous, but to exceed in vanity and topromote mirth was my chief study. Still I retained a love and esteem for piouspeople, and their company brought an awe upon me. My dear parents several timesadmonished me in the fear of the Lord, and their admonition entered into myheart and had a good effect for a season; but not getting deep enough to prayrightly, the tempter, when he came, found entrance. Once having spent a part ofthe day in wantonness, when I went to bed at night there lay in a window nearmy bed a Bible, which I opened, and first cast my eye on the text, "We lie downin our shame, and our confusion covereth us." This I knew to be my case, andmeeting with so unexpected a reproof I was somewhat affected with it, and wentto bed under remorse of conscience, which I soon cast off again.
Thus time passed on; my heart was replenished with mirth and wantonness,while pleasing scenes of vanity were presented to my imagination, till Iattained the age of eighteen years, near which time I felt the judgments of God in my soul, like a consuming fire, and looking over my past life the prospectwas moving. I was often sad, and longed to be delivered from those vanities;then again my heart was strongly inclined to them, and there was in me a soreconflict. At times I turned to folly, and then again sorrow and confusion tookhold of me. In a while I resolved totally to leave off some of my vanities, butthere was a secret reserve in my heart of the more refined part of them, and Iwas not low enough to find true peace. Thus for some months I had greattroubles; my will was unsubjected, which rendered my labours fruitless. Atlength, through the merciful continuance of heavenly visitations, I was made tobow down in spirit before the Lord. One evening I had spent some time inreading a pious author, and walking out alone I humbly prayed to the Lord forHis help, that I might be delivered from all those vanities which so ensnaredme. Thus being brought low, He helped me, and as I learned to bear the cross, Ifelt refreshment to come from His presence; but not keeping in that strengthwhich gave victory, I lost ground again, the sense of which greatly affectedme. I sought deserts and lonely places, and there with tears did confess mysins to God and humbly craved His help. And I may say with reverence, He wasnear to me in my troubles, and in those times of humiliation opened my ear todiscipline.
I was now led to look seriously at the means by which I was drawn from thepure truth, and learned that if I would live such a life as the faithfulservants of God lived, I must not go into company as heretofore in my own will,but all the cravings of sense must be governed by a divine principle. In timesof sorrow and abasement these instructions were sealed upon me, and I felt thepower of Christ prevail over selfish desires, so that I was preserved in a gooddegree of steadiness, and being young, and believing at that time that a singlelife was best for me, I was strengthened to keep from such company as had oftenbeen a snare to me.
I kept steadily to meetings, spent First-day afternoons chiefly in readingthe Scriptures and other good books, and was early convinced in my mind thattrue religion consisted in an inward life, wherein the heart does love andreverence God the Creator, and learns to exercise true justice and goodness,not only toward all men, but also toward the brute creation; that, as the mindwas moved by an inward principle to love God as an invisible, incomprehensibleBeing, so, by the same principle, it was moved to love Him in all Hismanifestations in the visible world; that, as by His breath the flame of lifewas kindled in all animal sensible creatures, to say we love God as unseen, andat the same time exercise cruelty toward the least creature moving by His life,or by life derived from Him, was a contradiction in itself. I found nonarrowness respecting sects and opinions, but believed that sincere, upright-hearted people, in every society, who truly love God, were accepted of Him.
As I lived under the cross, and simply followed the opening of truth, mymind, from day to day, was more enlightened, my former acquaintance were leftto judge of me as they would, for I found it safest for me to live in private,and keep these things sealed up in my own breast. While I silently ponder onthat change wrought in me, I find no language equal to convey to another aclear idea of it. I looked upon the works of God in this visible creation, andan awfulness covered me. My heart was tender and often contrite, and universallove to my fellow-creatures increased in me. This will be understood by such ashave trodden in the same path. Some glances of real beauty may be seen in theirfaces who dwell in true meekness. There is a harmony in the sound of that voiceto which divine love gives utterance, and some appearance of right order intheir temper and conduct whose passions are regulated; yet these do not fullyshow forth that inward life to those who have not felt it; this white stone andnew name is only known rightly by such as receive it.
Now, though I had been thus strengthened to bear the cross, I still foundmyself in great danger, having many weaknesses attending me, and strongtemptations to wrestle with; in the feeling whereof I frequently withdrew intoprivate places, and often with tears besought the Lord to help me, and Hisgracious ear was open to my cry.
All this time I lived with my parents, and wrought on the plantation; andhaving had schooling pretty well for a planter, I used to improve myself inwinter evenings, and other leisure times. Being now in the twenty-first year ofmy age, with my father's consent I engaged with a man, in much business as ashopkeeper and baker, to tend shop and keep books. At home I had lived retired;and now, having a prospect of being much in the way of company, I felt frequentand fervent cries in my heart to God, the Father of Mercies, that He wouldpreserve me from all taint and corruption; that, in this more publicemployment, I might serve Him, my gracious Redeemer, in that humility and self-denial which I had in a small degree exercised in a more private life.
The man who employed me furnished a shop in Mount Holly, about five milesfrom my father's house, and six from his own, and there I lived alone andtended his shop. Shortly after my settlement here I was visited by severalyoung people, my former acquaintance, who supposed that vanities would be asagreeable to me now as ever. At these times I cried to the Lord in secret forwisdom and strength; for I felt myself encompassed with difficulties, and hadfresh occasion to bewail the follies of times past, in contracting afamiliarity with libertine people; and as I had now left my father's houseoutwardly, I found my Heavenly Father to be merciful to me beyond what I canexpress.
By day I was much amongst people, and had many trials to go through; but inthe evenings I was mostly alone, and I may with thankfulness acknowledge, that in those times the spirit of supplication was often poured upon me; under whichI was frequently exercised, and felt my strength renewed.
After a while, my former acquaintance gave over expecting me as one of theircompany, and I began to be known to some whose conversation was helpful to me.
And now, as I had experienced the love of God through Jesus Christ, to redeemme from many pollutions, and to be a succor to me through a sea of conflicts,with which no person was fully acquainted, and as my heart was often enlargedin this heavenly principle, I felt a tender compassion for the youth whoremained entangled in snares like those which had entangled me. This love andtenderness increased, and my mind was strongly engaged for the good of myfellow-creatures. I went to meetings in an awful frame of mind, and endeavouredto be inwardly acquainted with the language of the true Shepherd.
One day, being under a strong exercise of spirit, I stood up and said somewords in a meeting; but not keeping close to the divine opening, I said morethan was required of me. Being soon sensible of my error, I was afflicted inmind some weeks, without any light or comfort, even to that degree that I couldnot take satisfaction in anything. I remembered God and was troubled, and inthe depth of my distress He had pity upon me, and sent the Comforter. I thenfelt forgiveness for my offence; my mind became calm and quiet, and I was trulythankful to my gracious Redeemer for His mercies. About six weeks after this,feeling the spring of divine love opened and a concern to speak, I said a fewwords in a meeting, in which I found peace. Being thus humbled and disciplinedunder the cross, my understanding became more strengthened to distinguish thepure Spirit which inwardly moves upon the heart, and which taught me to wait insilence sometimes many weeks together, until I felt that rise which preparesthe creature to stand like a trumpet, through which the Lord speaks to Hisflock.
From an inward purifying and steadfast abiding under it, springs a livelyoperative desire for the good of others. All the faithful are not called to thepublic ministry; but whoever are, are called to minister of that which theyhave tasted and handled spiritually. The outward modes of worship are various;but whenever any are true ministers of Jesus Christ, it is from the operationof His Spirit upon their hearts, first purifying them, and thus giving them ajust sense of the conditions of others. This truth was early fixed in my mind,and I was taught to watch the pure opening, and to take heed lest, while I wasstanding to speak, my own will should get uppermost, and cause me to utterwords from worldly wisdom, and depart from the channel of the true gospelministry.
In the management of my outward affairs, I may say with thankfulness, I foundtruth to be my support; and I was respected in my master's family, who came tolive in Mount Holly within two years after my going there.
In a few months after I came here, my master bought several Scotchmen servants,from on board a vessel, and brought them to Mount Holly to sell, one of whomwas taken sick and died. In the latter part of his sickness, being delirious,he used to curse and swear most sorrowfully; and the next night after hisburial I was left to sleep alone in the chamber where he died. I perceived inme a timorousness; I knew, however, I had not injured the man, but assisted intaking care of him according to my capacity. I was not free to ask any one onthat occasion to sleep with me. Nature was feeble; but every trial was a freshincitement to give myself up wholly to the service of God, for I found nohelper like Him in times of trouble.
About the twenty-third year of my age, I had many fresh and heavenlyopenings, in respect to the care and providence of the Almighty over hiscreatures in general, and over man as the most noble amongst those which arevisible. And being clearly convinced in my judgment that to place my wholetrust in God was best for me, I felt renewed engagements that in all things Imight act on an inward principle of virtue, and pursue worldly business nofurther than as truth opened my way.
About the time called Christmas I observed many people, both in town and fromthe country, resorting to public-houses, and spending their time in drinkingand vain sports, tending to corrupt one another; on which account I was muchtroubled. At one house in particular there was much disorder; and I believed itwas a duty incumbent on me to speak to the master of that house. I considered Iwas young, and that several elderly friends in town had opportunity to seethese things; but though I would gladly have been excused, yet I could not feelmy mind clear.
The exercise was heavy; and as I was reading what the Almighty said toEzekiel, respecting his duty as a watchman, the matter was set home moreclearly. With prayers and tears I besought the Lord for His assistance, and Hein loving-kindness gave me a resigned heart. At a suitable opportunity I wentto the public-house; and seeing the man amongst much company, I called himaside, and in the fear and dread of the Almighty expressed to him what restedon my mind. He took it kindly, and afterwards showed more regard to me thanbefore. In a few years afterwards he died, middle-aged; and I often thoughtthat, had I neglected my duty in that case, it would have given me greattrouble; and I was humbly thankful to my gracious Father, who had supported meherein.
My employer, having a negro woman, (1) sold her, and desired me to write abill of sale, the man being waiting who bought her. The thing was sudden; andthough I felt uneasy at the thoughts of writing an instrument of slavery forone of my fellow-creatures, yet I remembered that I was hired by the year, thatit was my master who directed me to do it, and that it was an elderly man, amember of our Society, who bought her; so through weakness I gave way, and wrote it; but at the executing of it I was so afflicted in my mind, that I saidbefore my master and the Friend that I believed slave-keeping to be a practiceinconsistent with the Christian religion. This in some degree abated myuneasiness; yet, as often as I reflected seriously upon it, I thought I shouldhave been clearer if I had desired to be excused from it, as a thing against myconscience; for such it was. Some time after this a young man of our Societyspoke to me to write a conveyance of a slave to him, he having lately taken anegro into his house. I told him I was not easy to write it; for though many ofour meeting and in other places kept slaves, I still believed the practice wasnot right, and desired to be excused from the writing. I spoke to him ingoodwill; and he told me that keeping slaves was not altogether agreeable tohis mind; but that the slave being a gift made to his wife, he had acceptedher.
Chapter 2
MY esteemed friend Abraham Farrington being about to make a visit to Friends onthe eastern side of this province, and having no companion, he proposed to meto go with him; and after a conference with some elderly Friends I agreed togo. We set out on the 5th of Ninth Month, 1743; had an evening meeting at atavern in Brunswick, a town in which none of our Society dwelt; the room wasfull and the people quiet. Thence to Amboy, and had an evening meeting in thecourt-house, to which came many people, amongst whom were several members ofAssembly, they being in town on the public affairs of the province. In boththese meetings my ancient companion was engaged to preach largely in the loveof the gospel. Thence we went to Woodbridge, Rahway, and Plainfield, and hadsix or seven meetings in places where Friends' meetings are not usually held,chiefly attended by Presbyterians, and my beloved companion was frequentlystrengthened to publish the word of life amongst them. As for me, I was oftensilent through the meetings, and when I spake it was with much care, that Imight speak only what truth opened. My mind was often tender, and I learnedsome profitable lessons. We were out about two weeks.
Near this time, being on some outward business in which several families wereconcerned, and which was attended with difficulties, some things relatingthereto not being clearly stated, nor rightly understood by all, there arosesome heat in the minds of the parties, and one valuable Friend got off hiswatch. I had a great regard for him, and felt a strong inclination, aftermatters were settled, to speak to him concerning his conduct in that case; butbeing a youth, and he far advanced in age and experience, my way appeared difficult; after some days' deliberation, and inward seeking to the Lord forassistance, I was made subject, so that I expressed what lay upon me in a waywhich became my youth and his years; and though it was a hard task to me it waswell taken, and I believe was useful to us both.
Having now been several years with my employer, and he doing less inmerchandise than heretofore, I was thoughtful about some other way of business,perceiving merchandise to be attended with much cumber in the way of trading inthese parts.
My mind, through the power of truth, was in a good degree weaned from thedesire of outward greatness, and I was learning to be content with realconveniences, that were not costly, so that a way of life free from muchentanglement appeared best for me, though the income might be small. I hadseveral offers of business that appeared profitable, but I did not see my wayclear to accept of them, believing they would be attended with more outwardcare and cumber than was required of me to engage in. I saw that an humble man,with the blessing of the Lord, might live on a little, and that, where theheart was set on greatness, success in business did not satisfy the craving;but that commonly, with an increase of wealth, the desire of wealth increased.
There was a care on my mind so to pass my time, that nothing might hinder mefrom the most steady attention to the voice of the true Shepherd.
My employer, though now a retailer of goods, was by trade a tailor, and kepta servant-man at that business; and I began to think about learning the trade,expecting that if I should settle I might by this trade and a little retailingof goods get a living in a plain way, without the load of great business. Imentioned it to my employer, and we soon agreed on terms, and when I hadleisure from the affairs of merchandise I worked with his man. I believed thehand of Providence pointed out this business for me, and I was taught to becontent with it, though I felt at times a disposition that would have soughtfor something greater; but through the revelation of Jesus Christ I had seenthe happiness of humility, and there was an earnest desire in me to enterdeeply into it; at times this desire arose to a degree of fervent supplication,wherein my soul was so environed with heavenly light and consolation thatthings were made easy to me which had been otherwise.
After some time my employer's wife died; she was a virtuous woman, andgenerally beloved of her neighbours. Soon after this he left shopkeeping, andwe parted. I then wrought at my trade as a tailor; carefully attended meetingsfor worship and discipline; and found an enlargement of gospel love in my mind,and therein a concern to visit Friends in some of the back settlements ofPennsylvania and Virginia. Being thoughtful about a companion, I expressed it to my beloved friend, Isaac Andrews, who told me that he had drawings to thesame places, and also to go through Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina. After aconsiderable time, and several conferences with him, I felt easy to accompanyhim throughout, if way opened for it. I opened the case in our Monthly Meeting,and Friends expressing their unity therewith, we obtained certificates totravel as companions, -- he from Haddonfield, and I from Burlington.
We left our province on the 12th of Third Month, 1746, and had severalmeetings in the upper part of Chester County, and near Lancaster; in some ofwhich the love of Christ prevailed, uniting us together in His service. We thencrossed the river Susquehanna, and had several meetings in a new settlement,called the Red Lands. It is the poorer sort of people that commonly begin toimprove remote deserts; with a small stock they have houses to build, lands toclear and fence, corn to raise, clothes to provide, and children to educate, sothat Friends who visit such may well sympathize with them in their hardships inthe wilderness; and though the best entertainment that they can give may seemcoarse to some who are used to cities or old settled places, it becomes thedisciples of Christ to be therewith content. Our hearts were sometimes enlargedin the love of our Heavenly Father amongst these people, and the sweetinfluence of His Spirit supported us through some difficulties: to Him be thepraise.
We passed on to Manoquacy, Fairfax, Hopewell, and Shanando, and had meetings,some of which were comfortable and edifying. From Shanando, we set off in theafternoon for the settlements of Friends in Virginia; the first night, we, withour guide, lodged in the woods, our horses feeding near us; but he being poorlyprovided with a horse, and we young, and having good horses, were free the nextday to part with him. In two days after we reached our friend John Cheagle's,in Virginia. We took the meetings in our way through Virginia; were in somedegree baptized into a feeling sense of the conditions of the people, and ourexercise in general was more painful in these old settlements than it had beenamongst the back inhabitants; yet through the goodness of our Heavenly Fatherthe well of living waters was at times opened to our encouragement, and therefreshment of the sincere-hearted. We went on to Perquimans, in NorthCarolina; had several large meetings, and found some openness in those parts,and a hopeful appearance amongst the young people. Afterwards we turned againto Virginia, and attended most of the meetings which we had not been at before,labouring amongst Friends in the love of Jesus Christ, as ability was given;thence went to the mountains, up James River to a new settlement, and hadseveral meetings amongst the people, some of whom had lately joined inmembership with our Society. In our journeying to and fro we found some honest-hearted Friends, who appeared to be concerned for the cause of truth among abacksliding people.
From Virginia, we crossed over the river Potomac, at Hoe's Ferry, and made ageneral visit to the meetings of Friends on the western shore of Maryland, andwere at their Quarterly Meeting. We had some hard labour amongst them,endeavouring to discharge our duty honestly as way opened, in the love oftruth. Thence, taking sundry meetings in our way, we passed towards home,which, through the favour of divine Providence, we reached the 16th of SixthMonth, 1746; and I may say that, through the assistance of the Holy Spirit,which mortifies selfish desires, my companion and I travelled in harmony, andparted in the nearness of true brotherly love.
Two things were remarkable to me in this journey: first, in regard to myentertainment. When I ate, drank, and lodged free-cost with people who lived inease on the hard labour of their slaves, I felt uneasy; and as my mind wasinward to the Lord, I found this uneasiness return upon me, at times, throughthe whole visit. Where the masters bore a good share of the burden, and livedfrugally, so that their servants were well provided for, and their labourmoderate, I felt more easy; but where they lived in a costly way, and laidheavy burdens on their slaves, my exercise was often great, and I frequentlyhad conversation with them in private concerning it. Secondly, this trade ofimporting slaves from their native country being much encouraged amongst them,and the white people and their children so generally living without muchlabour, was frequently the subject of my serious thoughts. I saw in thesesouthern provinces so many vices and corruptions, increased by this trade andthis way of life, that it appeared to me as a dark gloominess hanging over theland; and though now many willingly run into it, yet in future the consequencewill be grievous to posterity. I express it as it hath appeared to me, not oncenor twice, but as a matter fixed on my mind.
Soon after my return home I felt an increasing concern for Friends on oursea-coast; and on the 8th of Eighth Month, 1746, I left home with the unity ofFriends, and in company with my beloved friend and neighbour Peter Andrews,brother to my companion before mentioned, and visited them in their meetingsgenerally about Salem, Cape May, Great and Little Egg Harbour; we had meetingsalso at Barnagat, Manahockin, and Mane Squan, and so to the Yearly Meeting atShrewsbury. Through the goodness of the Lord way was opened, and the strengthof divine love was sometimes felt in our assemblies, to the comfort and help ofthose who were rightly concerned before Him. We were out twenty-two days, androde, by computation, three hundred and forty miles. At Shrewsbury YearlyMeeting we met with our dear friends Michael Lightfoot and Abraham Farrington,who had good service there.
The winter following died my eldest sister, Elizabeth Woolman, of thesmallpox, aged thirty-one years.
Of late I found drawings in my mind to visit Friends in New England, andhaving an opportunity of joining in company with my beloved friend PeterAndrews, we obtained certificates from our Monthly Meeting, and set forward onthe 16th of Third Month, 1747. We reached the Yearly Meeting at Long Island, atwhich were our friends, Samuel Nottingham from England, John Griffith, JaneHoskins, and Elizabeth Hudson from Pennsylvania, and Jacob Andrews fromChesterfield, several of whom were favoured in their public exercise; and,through the goodness of the Lord, we had some edifying meetings. After this mycompanion and I visited Friends on Long Island; and through the mercies of Godwe were helped in the work.
Besides going to the settled meetings of Friends, we were at a generalmeeting at Setawket, chiefly made up of other Societies; we had also a meetingat Oyster Bay in a dwelling-house, at which were many people. At the formerthere was not much said by way of testimony, but it was, I believe, a goodmeeting; at the latter, through the springing up of living waters, it was a dayto be thankfully remembered. Having visited the Island, we went over to themain, taking meetings in our way, to Oblong, Nine-partners, and New Milford.
In these back settlements, we met with several people who, through theimmediate workings of the Spirit of Christ on their minds, were drawn from thevanities of the world to an inward acquaintance with Him. They were educated inthe way of the Presbyterians. A considerable number of the youth, members ofthat society, used often to spend their time together in merriment, but some ofthe principal young men of the company, being visited by the powerful workingsof the Spirit of Christ, and thereby led humbly to take up His cross, could nolonger join in those vanities. As these stood steadfast to that inwardconvincement, they were made a blessing to some of their former companions; sothat through the power of truth several were brought into a close exerciseconcerning the eternal well-being of their souls. These young people continuedfor a time to frequent their public worship; and, besides that, had meetings oftheir own, which meetings were awhile allowed by their preacher, who sometimesmet with them; but in time their judgment in matters of religion disagreeingwith some of the articles of the Presbyterians, their meetings were disapprovedby that society; and such of them as stood firm to their duty, as it wasinwardly manifested, had many difficulties to go through. In a while theirmeetings were dropped; some of them returned to the Presbyterians, and othersjoined to our religious society.
I had conversation with some of the latter to my help and edification, andbelieve several of them are acquainted with the nature of that worship which isperformed in spirit and in truth. Amos Powel, a Friend from Long Island,accompanied me through Connecticut, which is chiefly inhabited by Presbyterians, who were generally civil to us. After three days' riding, wecame amongst Friends in the colony of Rhode Island, and visited them in andabout Newport, Dartmouth, and generally in those parts; we then went to Boston,and proceeded eastward as far as Dover. Not far from thence we met our friend,Thomas Gawthrop, from England, who was then on a visit to these provinces. FromNewport we sailed to Nantucket; were there nearly a week; and from thence cameover to Dartmouth. Having finished our visit in these parts, we crossed theSound from New London to Long Island, and taking some meetings on the islandproceeded towards home, which we reached the 13th of Seventh Month, 1747,having rode about fifteen hundred miles, and sailed about one hundred andfifty.
In this journey, I may say in general, we were sometimes in much weakness,and laboured under discouragements, and at other times, through the renewedmanifestations of divine love, we had seasons of refreshment wherein the powerof truth prevailed. We were taught by renewed experience to labour for aninward stillness; at no time to seek for words, but to live in the spirit oftruth, and utter that to the people which truth opened in us. My belovedcompanion and I belonged both to one meeting, came forth in the ministry nearthe same time, and were inwardly united in the work. He was about thirteenyears older than I, bore the heaviest burden, and was an instrument of thegreatest use.
Finding a concern to visit Friends in the lower counties of Delaware, and onthe eastern shore of Maryland, and having an opportunity to join with my well-beloved ancient friend, John Sykes, we obtained certificates, and set off the7th of Eighth Month, 1748, were at the meetings of Friends in the lowercounties, attended the Yearly Meeting at Little Creek, and made a visit to mostof the meetings on the eastern shore, and so home by the way of Nottingham. Wewere abroad about six weeks, and rode, by computation, about five hundred andfifty miles.
Our exercise at times was heavy, but through the goodness of the Lord we wereoften refreshed, and I may say by experience, "He is a stronghold in the day oftrouble." Though our Society in these parts appeared to me to be in a decliningcondition, yet I believe the Lord hath a people amongst them who labour toserve Him uprightly, but they have many difficulties to encounter.
Chapter 3
ABOUT this time, believing it good for me to settle, and thinking seriouslyabout a companion, my heart was turned to the Lord with desires that He wouldgive me wisdom to proceed therein agreeably to His will, and He was pleased togive me a well-inclined damsel, Sarah Ellis, to whom I was married the 18th ofEighth Month, 1749.
In the fall of the year 1750 died my father, Samuel Woolman, of a fever, agedabout sixty years. In his lifetime he manifested much care for us his children,that in our youth we might learn to fear the Lord; and often endeavoured toimprint in our minds the true principles of virtue, and particularly to cherishin us a spirit of tenderness, not only towards poor people, but also towardsall creatures of which we had the command.
After my return from Carolina in 1746, I made some observations on keepingslaves which some time before his decease I showed to him; he perused themanuscript, proposed a few alterations, and appeared well satisfied that Ifound a concern on that account. In his last sickness, as I was watching withhim one night, he being so far spent that there was no expectation of hisrecovery, though he had the perfect use of his understanding, he asked meconcerning the manuscript, and whether I expected soon to proceed to take theadvice of Friends in publishing it? After some further conversation thereon, hesaid, "I have all along been deeply affected with the oppression of the poornegroes; and now, at last, my concern for them is as great as ever."By his direction I had written his will in a time of health, and that nighthe desired me to read it to him, which I did; and he said it was agreeable tohis mind. He then made mention of his end, which he believed was near; andsignified that, though he was sensible of many imperfections in the course ofhis life, yet his experience of the power of truth, and of the love andgoodness of God from time to time, even till now, was such that he had no doubtthat on leaving this life he should enter into one more happy.
The next day his sister Elizabeth came to see him, and told him of thedecease of their sister Anne, who died a few days before; he then said, "Ireckon Sister Anne was free to leave this world?" Elizabeth said she was. Hethen said, "I also am free to leave it"; and being in great weakness of bodysaid, "I hope I shall shortly go to rest." He continued in a weighty frame ofmind, and was sensible till near the last.
Second of Ninth Month, 1751. -- Feeling drawings in my mind to visit Friendsat the Great Meadows, in the upper part of West Jersey, with the unity of ourMonthly Meeting I went there, and had some searching labourious exerciseamongst Friends in those parts, and found inward peace therein.
Ninth Month, 1753. -- In company with my well-esteemed friend, John Sykes,and with the unity of Friends, I travelled about two weeks, visiting Friends inBuck's County. We laboured in the love of the gospel, according to the measure received; and through the mercies of Him who is strength to the poor who trustin Him, we found satisfaction in our visit. In the next winter, way opening tovisit Friends' families within the compass of our Monthly Meeting, partly bythe labours of two Friends from Pennsylvania, I joined in some part of thework, having had a desire some time that it might go forward amongst us.
About this time, a person at some distance lying sick, his brother came to meto write his will. I knew he had slaves, and, asking his brother, was told heintended to leave them as slaves to his children. As writing is a profitableemploy, and as offending sober people was disagreeable to my inclination, I wasstraitened in my mind; but as I looked to the Lord, he inclined my heart to Histestimony. I told the man that I believed the practice of continuing slavery tothis people was not right, and that I had a scruple in my mind against doingwritings of that kind; that though many in our Society kept them as slaves,still I was not easy to be concerned in it, and desired to be excused fromgoing to write the will. I spake to him in the fear of the Lord, and he made noreply to what I said, but went away; he also had some concerns in the practice,and I thought he was displeased with me. In this case I had fresh confirmationthat acting contrary to present outward interest, from a motive of divine loveand in regard to truth and righteousness, and thereby incurring the resentmentsof people, opens the way to a treasure better than silver, and to a friendshipexceeding the friendship of men.
The manuscript before mentioned having laid by me several years, thepublication of it rested weightily upon me, and this year I offered it to therevisal of my friends, who, having examined and made some small alterations init, directed a number of copies thereof to be published and dispersed amongstmembers of our Society.(1) In the year 1754 I found my mind drawn to join in avisit to Friends' families belonging to Chesterfield Monthly Meeting, andhaving the approbation of our own, I went to their Monthly Meeting in order toconfer with Friends, and see if way opened for it. I had conference with someof their members, the proposal having been opened before in their meeting, andone Friend agreed to join with me as a companion for a beginning; but whenmeeting was ended, I felt great distress of mind, and doubted what way to take,or whether to go home and wait for greater clearness. I kept my distresssecret, and, going with a Friend to his house, my desires were to the greatShepherd for His heavenly instruction.
In the morning I felt easy to proceed on the visit, though very low in mymind. As mine eye was turned to the Lord, waiting in families in deep reverencebefore Him, He was pleased graciously to afford help, so that we had manycomfortable opportunities, and it appeared as a fresh visitation to some youngpeople. I spent several weeks this winter in the service, part of which timewas employed near home. And again in the following winter I was several weeksin the same service; some part of the time at Shrewsbury, in company with my beloved friend, John Sykes; and I have cause humbly to acknowledge that throughthe goodness of the Lord our hearts were at times enlarged in His love, andstrength was given to go through the trials which, in the course of our visit,attended us.
From a disagreement between the powers of England and France, it was now atime of trouble on this continent, and an epistle to Friends went forth fromour general Spring Meeting, which I thought good to give a place in thisJournal.
An Epistle from our General Spring Meeting of ministers and elders forPennsylvania and New Jersey, held at Philadelphia, from the 29th of the ThirdMonth to the 1st of the Fourth Month, inclusive, 1755.
TO FRIENDS ON THE CONTINENT OF AMERICA: -DEAR FRIENDS, --In an humble sense of divine goodness, and the graciouscontinuation of God's love to His people, we tenderly salute you, and are atthis time therein engaged in mind, that all of us who profess the truth, asheld forth and published by our worthy predecessors in this latter age of theworld, may keep near to that Life which is the Light of men, and bestrengthened to hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering, thatour trust may not be in man, but in the Lord alone, who ruleth in the army ofheaven and in the kingdoms of men, before whom the earth is "as the dust of thebalance, and her inhabitants as grasshoppers" (Isa. xl. 22).
Being convinced that the gracious design of the Almighty in sending His Soninto the world was to repair the breach made by disobedience, to finish sin andtransgression, that His kingdom might come, and His will be done on earth as itis in heaven, we have found it to be our duty to cease from those nationalcontests which are productive of misery and bloodshed, and submit our cause toHim, the Most High, whose tender love to His children exceeds the most warmaffections of natural parents, and who hath promised to His seed throughout theearth, as to one individual, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Heb.
xiii. 5). And we, through the gracious dealings of the Lord our God, have hadexperience of that work which is carried on, "not by earthly might, nor bypower, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord of Hosts" (Zech. iv. 6). By whichoperation that spiritual kingdom is set up, which is to subdue and break inpieces all kingdoms that oppose it, and shall stand forever. In a deep sensethereof, and of the safety, stability, and peace that are in it, we aredesirous that all who profess the truth may be inwardly acquainted with it, andthereby be qualified to conduct ourselves in all parts of our life as becomesour peaceable profession; and we trust, as there is a faithful continuance todepend wholly upon the Almighty arm, from one generation to another, thepeaceable kingdom will gradually be extended "from sea to sea, and from theriver to the ends of the earth" (Zech. ix. 10), to the completion of those prophecies already begun, that "nation shall not lift up a sword againstnation, nor learn war any more" (Isa. ii. 4; Micah iv. 3).
And, dearly beloved friends, seeing that we have these promises, andbelieve that God is beginning to fulfil them, let us constantly endeavour tohave our minds sufficiently disentangled from the surfeiting cares of thislife, and redeemed from the love of the world, that no earthly possessions norenjoyments may bias our judgments, or turn us from that resignation and entiretrust in God to which His blessing is most surely annexed; then may we say,"Our Redeemer is mighty, he will plead our cause for us" (Jer. l. 34). And if,for the further promoting of His most gracious purposes in the earth, He shouldgive us to taste of that bitter cup of which His faithful ones have oftenpartaken, O that we might be rightly prepared to receive it!
And now, dear friends, with respect to the commotions and stirrings of thepowers of the earth at this time near us, we are desirous that none of us maybe moved thereat, but repose ourselves in the munition of that rock which allthese shakings shall not move, even in the knowledge and feeling of the eternalpower of God, keeping us subjectly given up to His heavenly will, and feelingit daily to mortify that which remains in any of us which is of this world; forthe worldly part in any is the changeable part, and that is up and down, fulland empty, joyful and sorrowful, as things go well or ill in this world. For asthe truth is but one, and many are made partakers of its spirit, so the worldis but one, and many are made partakers of the spirit of it; and so many as dopartake of it, so many will be straitened and perplexed with it. But they whoare single to the truth, waiting daily to feel the life and virtue of it intheir hearts, shall rejoice in the midst of adversity, and have to experiencewith the prophet, that, "although the fig-tree shall not blossom, neither shallfruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shallyield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be noherd in the stalls; yet will they rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God oftheir salvation" (Hab. iii. 17, 18).
If, contrary to this, we profess the truth, and, not living under the powerand influence of it, are producing fruits disagreeable to the purity thereof,and trust to the strength of man to support ourselves, our confidence thereinwill be vain. For He who removed the hedge from His vineyard, and gave it to betrodden under foot by reason of the wild grapes it produced (Isa. v. 6),remains unchangeable; and if, for the chastisement of wickedness and thefurther promoting of His own glory, He doth arise, even to shake terribly theearth, who then may oppose Him and prosper?
We remain, in the love of the gospel, your friends and brethren.
(Signed by fourteen Friends.)Scrupling to do writings relative to keeping slaves has been a means ofsundry small trials to me, in which I have so evidently felt my own will setaside, that I think it good to mention a few of them. Tradesmen and retailersof goods, who depend on their business for a living, are naturally inclined tokeep the good-will of their customers; nor is it a pleasant thing for young mento be under any necessity to question the judgment or honesty of elderly men,and more especially of such as have a fair reputation. Deep-rooted customs,though wrong, are not easily altered; but it is the duty of all to be firm inthat which they certainly know is right for them. A charitable, benevolent man,well acquainted with a negro, may, I believe, under some circumstances, keephim in his family as a servant, on no other motives than the negro's good; butman, as man, knows not what shall be after him, nor hath he any assurance thathis children will attain to that perfection in wisdom and goodness necessaryrightly to exercise such power; hence it is clear to me, that I ought not to bethe scribe where wills are drawn in which some children are made sale-mastersover others during life.
About this time an ancient man of good esteem in the neighbourhood came to myhouse to get his will written. He had young negroes, and I asked him privatelyhow he purposed to dispose of them. He told me. I then said, "I cannot writethy will without breaking my own peace," and respectfully gave him my reasonsfor it. He signified that he had a choice that I should have written it, but asI could not, consistently with my conscience, he did not desire it, and so hegot it written by some other person. A few years after, there being greatalterations in his family, he came again to get me to write his will. Hisnegroes were yet young, and his son, to whom he intended to give them, was,since he first spoke to me, from a libertine become a sober young man, and hesupposed that I would have been free on that account to write it. We had muchfriendly talk on the subject, and then deferred it. A few days after he cameagain and directed their freedom, and I then wrote his will.
Near the time that the last-mentioned Friend first spoke to me, a neighbourreceived a bad bruise in his body and sent for me to bleed him, which havingdone, he desired me to write his will. I took notes, and amongst other thingshe told me to which of his children he gave his young negro. I considered thepain and distress he was in, and knew not how it would end, so I wrote hiswill, save only that part concerning his slave, and carrying it to his bedside,read it to him. I then told him in a friendly way that I could not write anyinstruments by which my fellow-creatures were made slaves, without bringingtrouble on my own mind. I let him know that I charged nothing for what I haddone, and desired to be excused from doing the other part in the way heproposed. We then had a serious conference on the subject; at length, heagreeing to set her free, I finished his will.
Having found drawings in my mind to visit Friends on Long Island, afterobtaining a certificate from our Monthly Meeting, I set off 12th of FifthMonth, 1756. When I reached the island, I lodged the first night at the houseof my dear friend, Richard Hallett. The next day being the first of the week, Iwas at the meeting in New Town, in which we experienced the renewedmanifestations of the love of Jesus Christ to the comfort of the honest-hearted. I went that night to Flushing, and the next day I and my belovedfriend, Matthew Franklin, crossed the ferry at White Stone; were at threemeetings on the main, and then returned to the island, where I spent theremainder of the week in visiting meetings. The Lord, I believe, hath a peoplein those parts who are honestly inclined to serve him; but many I fear, are toomuch clogged with the things of this life, and do not come forward bearing thecross in such faithfulness as He calls for.
My mind was deeply engaged in this visit, both in public and private, and atseveral places where I was, on observing that they had slaves, I found myselfunder a necessity, in a friendly way, to labour with them on that subject;expressing, as way opened, the inconsistency of that practice with the purityof the Christian religion, and the ill effects of it manifested amongst us.
The latter end of the week their Yearly Meeting began; at which were ourfriends, John Scarborough, Jane Hoskins, and Susannah Brown, from Pennsylvania.
The public meetings were large, and measurably favoured with divine goodness.
The exercise of my mind at this meeting was chiefly on account of those whowere considered as the foremost rank in the Society; and in a meeting ofministers and elders way opened for me to express in some measure what lay uponme; and when Friends were met for transacting the affairs of the church, havingsat awhile silent, I felt a weight on my mind, and stood up; and through thegracious regard of our Heavenly Father, strength was given fully to clearmyself of a burden which for some days had been increasing upon me.
Through the humbling dispensations of divine Providence, men are sometimesfitted for His service. The messages of the prophet Jeremiah were sodisagreeable to the people, and so adverse to the spirit they lived in, that hebecame the object of their reproach, and in the weakness of nature he thoughtof desisting from his prophetic office; but saith he, "His word was in my heartas a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I was weary with forbearing, andcould not stay." I saw at this time that, if I was honest in declaring thatwhich truth opened in me, I could not please all men; and I laboured to becontent in the way of my duty, however disagreeable to my own inclination.
After this I went homeward, taking Woodbridge and Plainfield in my way, in bothwhich meetings the pure influence of divine love was manifested, in an humblingsense whereof I went home. I had been out about twenty-four days, and rode While I was out on this journey my heart was much affected with a sense ofthe state of the churches in our southern provinces; and believing the Lord wascalling me to some further labour amongst them, I was bowed in reverence beforeHim, with fervent desires that I might find strength to resign myself to Hisheavenly will.
Until this year, 1756, I continued to retail goods, besides following mytrade as a tailor; about which time I grew uneasy on account of my businessgrowing too cumbersome. I had begun with selling trimmings for garments, andfrom thence proceeded to sell cloths and linens; and at length, having got aconsiderable shop of goods, my trade increased every year, and the way to largebusiness appeared open, but I felt a stop in my mind.
Through the mercies of the Almighty, I had, in a good degree, learned to becontent with a plain way of living. I had but a small family; and, on seriousconsideration, believed truth did not require me to engage much in cumberingaffairs. It had been my general practice to buy and sell things really useful.
Things that served chiefly to please the vain mind in people, I was not easy totrade in; seldom did it; and whenever I did I found it weaken me as aChristian.
The increase of business became my burden; for though my natural inclinationwas toward merchandise, yet I believed truth required me to live more free fromoutward cumbers; and there was now a strife in my mind between the two. In thisexercise my prayers were put up to the Lord, who graciously heard me, and gaveme a heart resigned to His holy will. Then I lessened my outward business, and,as I had opportunity, told my customers of my intentions, that they mightconsider what shop to turn to; and in a while I wholly laid down merchandise,and followed my trade as a tailor by myself, having no apprentice. I also had anursery of apple trees, in which I employed some of my time in hoeing,grafting, trimming, and inoculating.(2) In merchandise it is the custom where Ilived to sell chiefly on credit, and poor people often get in debt; whenpayment is expected, not having wherewith to pay, their creditors often sue forit at law. Having frequently observed occurrences of this kind, I found it goodfor me to advise poor people to take such goods as were most useful, and notcostly.
In the time of trading I had an opportunity of seeing that the too liberaluse of spirituous liquors and the custom of wearing too costly apparel led somepeople into great inconveniences; and that these two things appear to be oftenconnected with each other. By not attending to that use of things which isconsistent with universal righteousness, there is an increase of labour whichextends beyond what our Heavenly Father intends for us. And by great labour,and often by much sweating, there is even among such as are not drunkards acraving of liquors to revive the spirits; that partly by the luxurious drinkingof some, and partly by the drinking of others (led to it through immoderate labour), very great quantities of rum are every year consumed in our colonies;the greater part of which we should have no need of, did we steadily attend topure wisdom.
When men take pleasure in feeling their minds elevated with strong drink, andso indulge their appetite as to disorder their understandings, neglect theirduty as members of a family or civil society, and cast off all regard toreligion, their case is much to be pitied. And where those whose lives are forthe most part regular, and whose examples have a strong influence on the mindsof others, adhere to some customs which powerfully draw to the use of morestrong liquor than pure wisdom allows, it hinders the spreading of the spiritof meekness, and strengthens the hands of the more excessive drinkers. This isa case to be lamented.
Every degree of luxury hath some connection with evil; and if those whoprofess to be disciples of Christ, and are looked upon as leaders of thepeople, have that mind in them which was also in Christ, and so stand separatefrom every wrong way, it is a means of help to the weaker. As I have sometimesbeen much spent in the heat and have taken spirits to revive me, I have foundby experience that in such circumstances the mind is not so calm, nor so fitlydisposed for divine meditation, as when all such extremes are avoided. I havefelt an increasing care to attend to that Holy Spirit which sets right boundsto our desires, and leads those who faithfully follow it, to apply all thegifts of divine Providence to the purposes for which they were intended. Didthose who have the care of great estates attend with singleness of heart tothis heavenly Instructor, which so opens and enlarges the mind as to cause mento love their neighbours as themselves, they would have wisdom given them tomanage their concerns, without employing some people in providing luxuries oflife, or others in labouring too hard; but for want of steadily regarding thisprinciple of divine love, a selfish spirit takes place in the minds of people,which is attended with darkness and manifold confusions in the world.
Though trading in things useful is an honest employ, yet through the greatnumber of superfluities which are bought and sold, and through the corruptionof the times, they who apply to merchandise for a living have great need to bewell experienced in that precept which the Prophet Jeremiah laid down for hisscribe: "Seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not."In the winter this year I was engaged with friends in visiting families, andthrough the goodness of the Lord we often-times experienced his heart-tenderingpresence amongst us.
A Copy of a Letter written to a Friend"In this, thy late affliction, I have found a deep fellow-feeling withthee, and have had a secret hope throughout, that it might please the Father ofMercies to raise thee up and sanctify thy troubles to thee; that thou being more fully acquainted with that way which the world esteems foolish, mayst feelthe clothing of divine fortitude, and be strengthened to resist that spiritwhich leads from the simplicity of the everlasting truth.
"We may see ourselves crippled and halting, and from a strong bias tothings pleasant and easy, find an impossibility to advance forward; but thingsimpossible with men are possible with God; and our wills being made subject toHis, all temptations are surmountable.
"This work of subjecting the will is compared to the mineral in thefurnace, which, through fervent heat, is reduced from its first principle: 'Herefines them as silver is refined; he shall sit as a refiner and purifier ofsilver.' By these comparisons, we are instructed in the necessity of themelting operation of the hand of God upon us, to prepare our hearts truly toadore Him, and manifest that adoration by inwardly turning away from thatspirit, in all its workings, which is not of Him. To forward this work the all-wise God is sometimes pleased, through outward distress, to bring us near thegates of death; that life being painful and afflicting, and the prospect ofeternity opened before us, all earthly bonds may be loosened, and the mindprepared for that deep and sacred instruction which otherwise would not bereceived. If kind parents love their children and delight in their happiness,then He who is perfect goodness in sending abroad mortal contagions dothassuredly direct their use. Are the righteous removed by it? their change ishappy. Are the wicked taken away in their wickedness? the Almighty is clear. Dowe pass through with anguish and great bitterness, and yet recover? He intendsthat we should be purged from dross, and our ear opened to discipline.
"And now, as thou art again restored, after thy sore affliction and doubtsof recovery, forget not Him who hath helped thee, but in humble gratitude holdfast His instructions, and thereby shun those by-paths which lead from the firmfoundation. I am sensible of that variety of company to which one in thybusiness must be exposed; I have painfully felt the force of conversationproceeding from men deeply rooted in an earthly mind, and can sympathize withothers in such conflicts, because much weakness still attends me.
"I find that to be a fool as to worldly wisdom, and to commit my cause toGod, not fearing to offend men, who take offence at the simplicity of truth, isthe only way to remain unmoved at the sentiments of others.
"The fear of man brings a snare. By halting in our duty, and giving back inthe time of trial, our hands grow weaker, our spirits get mingled with thepeople, our ears grow dull as to hearing the language of the true Shepherd, sothat when we look at the way of the righteous, it seems as though it was notfor us to follow them.
"A love clothes my mind while I write, which is superior to all expression;and I find my heart open to encourage to a holy emulation, to advance forward in Christian firmness. Deep humility is a strong bulwark, and as we enter intoit we find safety and true exaltation. The foolishness of God is wiser thanman, and the weakness of God is stronger than man. Being unclothed of our ownwisdom, and knowing the abasement of the creature, we find that power to arisewhich gives health and vigour to us."
Chapter 4
THIRTEENTH Fifth Month, 1757. -- Being in good health, and abroad with Friendsvisiting families, I lodged at a Friend's house in Burlington. Going to bedabout the time usual with me, I awoke in the night, and my meditations, as Ilay, were on the goodness and mercy of the Lord, in a sense whereof my heartwas contrited. After this I went to sleep again; in a short time I awoke; itwas yet dark, and no appearance of day or moonshine, and as I opened mine eyesI saw a light in my chamber, at the apparent distance of five feet, about nineinches in diameter, of a clear, easy brightness, and near its centre the mostradiant. As I lay still looking upon it without any surprise, words were spokento my inward ear, which filled my whole inward man. They were not the effect ofthought, nor any conclusion in relation to the appearance, but as the languageof the Holy One spoken in my mind. The words were, CERTAIN EVIDENCE OF DIVINETRUTH. They were again repeated exactly in the same manner, and then the lightdisappeared.
Feeling the exercise in relation to a visit to the Southern Provinces toincrease upon me, I acquainted our Monthly Meeting therewith, and obtainedtheir certificate. Expecting to go alone, one of my brothers who lived inPhiladelphia, having some business in North Carolina, proposed going with mepart of the way; but as he had a view of some outward affairs, to accept of himas a companion was some difficulty with me, whereupon I had conversation withhim at sundry times. At length feeling easy in my mind, I had conversation withseveral elderly Friends of Philadelphia on the subject, and he obtaining acertificate suitable to the occasion, we set off in the Fifth Month, 1757.
Coming to Nottingham week-day meeting, we lodged at John Churchman's, where Imet with our friend, Benjamin Buffington, from New England, who was returningfrom a visit to the Southern Provinces. Thence we crossed the riverSusquehanna, and lodged at William Cox's in Maryland.
Soon after I entered this province, a deep and painful exercise came upon me,which I often had some feeling of since my mind was drawn toward these parts,and with which I had acquainted my brother before we agreed to join as companions. As the people in this and the Southern Provinces live much on thelabour of slaves, many of whom are used hardly, my concern was that I mightattend with singleness of heart to the voice of the true Shepherd, and be sosupported as to remain unmoved at the faces of men.
As it is common for Friends on such a visit to have entertainment free ofcost, a difficulty arose in my mind with respect to saving my money by kindnessreceived from what appeared to me to be the gain of oppression. Receiving agift, considered as a gift, brings the receiver under obligations to thebenefactor, and has a natural tendency to draw the obliged into a party withthe giver. To prevent difficulties of this kind, and to preserve the minds ofjudges from any bias, was that divine prohibition: "Thou shalt not receive anygift; for a gift blindeth the wise, and perverteth the words of the righteous"(Exod. xxiii. 8). As the disciples were sent forth without any provision fortheir journey, and our Lord said the workman is worthy of his meat, theirlabour in the gospel was considered as a reward for their entertainment, andtherefore not received as a gift; yet, in regard to my present journey, I couldnot see my way clear in that respect. The difference appeared thus: theentertainment the disciples met with was from them whose hearts God had openedto receive them, from a love to them and the truth they published; but we,considered as members of the same religious society, look upon it as a piece ofcivility to receive each other in such visits; and such receptions, at times,is partly in regard to reputation, and not from an inward unity of heart andspirit. Conduct is more convincing than language, and where people, by theiractions, manifest that the slave-trade is not so disagreeable to theirprinciples but that it may be encouraged, there is not a sound uniting withsome Friends who visit them.
The prospect of so weighty a work, and of being so distinguished from manywhom I esteemed before myself, brought me very low, and such were the conflictsof my soul that I had a near sympathy with the prophet, in the time of hisweakness, when he said: "If thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, if Ihave found favour in thy sight" (Num. xi. 15). But I soon saw that thisproceeded from the want of a full resignation to the divine will. Many were theafflictions which attended me, and in great abasement, with many tears, mycries were to the Almighty for His gracious and Fatherly assistance, and aftera time of deep trial I was favoured to understand the state mentioned by thePsalmist more clearly than ever I had done before; to wit: "My soul is even asa weaned child" (Ps. cxxxi. 2).
Being thus helped to sink down into resignation, I felt a deliverance fromthat tempest in which I had been sorely exercised, and in calmness of mind wentforward, trusting that the Lord Jesus Christ, as I faithfully attended to Him, would be a counsellor to me in all difficulties, and that by His strength Ishould be enabled even to leave money with the members of society where I hadentertainment, when I found that omitting it would obstruct that work to whichI believed He had called me. As I copy this after my return, I may here addthat oftentimes I did so under a sense of duty. The way in which I did it wasthus: When I expected soon to leave a Friend's house where I had entertainment,if I believed that I should not keep clear from the gain of oppression withoutleaving money, I spoke to one of the heads of the family privately, and desiredthem to accept of those pieces of silver, and give them to such of theirnegroes as they believed would make the best use of them; and at other times Igave them to the negroes myself, as the way looked clearest to me. Before Icame out, I had provided a large number of small pieces for this purpose, andthus offering them to some who appeared to be wealthy people was a trial bothto me and them. But the fear of the Lord so covered me at times that my way wasmade easier than I expected; and few, if any, manifested any resentment at theoffer, and most of them, after some conversation, accepted of them.
Ninth of Fifth Month. -- A Friend at whose house we breakfasted setting us alittle on our way, I had conversation with him, in the fear of the Lord,concerning his slaves, in which my heart was tender; I used much plainness ofspeech with him, and he appeared to take it kindly. We pursued our journeywithout appointing meetings, being pressed in my mind to be at the YearlyMeeting in Virginia. In my travelling on the road, I often felt a cry rise fromthe centre of my mind, thus: "O Lord, I am a stranger on the earth, hide notthy face from me."On the 11th, we crossed the rivers Patowmack and Rapahannock, and lodged atPort Royal. On the way we had the company of a colonel of the militia, whoappeared to be a thoughtful man. I took occasion to remark on the difference ingeneral betwixt a people used to labour moderately for their living, trainingup their children in frugality and business, and those who live on the labourof slaves; the former, in my view, being the most happy life. He concurred inthe remark, and mentioned the trouble arising from the untoward, slothfuldisposition of the negroes, adding that one of our labourers would do as muchin a day as two of their slaves. I replied that free men, whose minds wereproperly on their business, found a satisfaction in improving, cultivating, andproviding for their families; but negroes, labouring to support others whoclaim them as their property, and expecting nothing but slavery during life,had not the like inducement to be industrious.
After some further conversation I said, that men having power too oftenmisapplied it; that though we made slaves of the negroes, and the Turks madeslaves of the Christians, I believed that liberty was the natural right of all men equally. This he did not deny, but said the lives of the negroes were sowretched in their own country that many of them lived better here than there. Ireplied, "There is great odds in regard to us on what principle we act"; and sothe conversation on that subject ended. I may here add that another person,some time afterwards, mentioned the wretchedness of the negroes, occasioned bytheir intestine wars, as an argument in favour of our fetching them away forslaves. To which I replied, if compassion for the Africans, on account of theirdomestic troubles, was the real motive of our purchasing them, that spirit oftenderness being attended to, would incite us to use them kindly, that, asstrangers brought out of affliction, their lives might be happy among us. Andas they are human creatures, whose souls are as precious as ours, and who mayreceive the same help and comfort from the Holy Scriptures as we do, we couldnot omit suitable endeavours to instruct them therein; but that while wemanifest by our conduct that our views in purchasing them are to advanceourselves, and while our buying captives taken in war animates those parties topush on the war and increase desolation amongst them, to say they liveunhappily in Africa is far from being an argument in our favour.
I further said, the present circumstances of these provinces to me appeardifficult; the slaves look like a burdensome stone to such as burden themselveswith them; and that, if the white people retain a resolution to prefer theiroutward prospects of gain to all other considerations, and do not actconscientiously toward them as fellow-creatures, I believe that burden willgrow heavier and heavier, until times change in a way disagreeable to us. Theperson appeared very serious, and owned that in considering their condition andthe manner of their treatment in these provinces he had sometimes thought itmight be just in the Almighty so to order it.
Having travelled through Maryland, we came amongst Friends at Cedar Creek inVirginia, on the 12th; and the next day rode, in company with several of them,a day's journey to Camp Creek. As I was riding along in the morning, my mindwas deeply affected in a sense I had of the need of divine aid to support me inthe various difficulties which attended me, and in uncommon distress of mind Icried in secret to the Most High, "O Lord, be merciful, I beseech Thee, to Thypoor afflicted creature!" After some time I felt inward relief, and soon aftera Friend in company began to talk in support of the slave-trade, and said thenegroes were understood to be the offspring of Cain, their blackness being themark which God set upon him after he murdered Abel, his brother; that it wasthe design of Providence they should be slaves, as a condition proper to therace of so wicked a man as Cain was. Then another spake in support of what hadbeen said.
To all which I replied in substance as follows: that Noah and his family wereall who survived the flood, according to Scripture; and as Noah was of Seth'srace, the family of Cain was wholly destroyed. One of them said that after theflood Ham went to the land of Nod and took a wife; that Nod was a land fardistant, inhabited by Cain's race, and that the flood did not reach it; and asHam was sentenced to be a servant of servants to his brethren, these twofamilies, being thus joined, were undoubtedly fit only for slaves. I replied,the flood was a judgment upon the world for their abominations, and it wasgranted that Cain's stock was the most wicked, and therefore unreasonable tosuppose that they were spared. As to Ham's going to the land of Nod for a wife,no time being fixed, Nod might be inhabited by some of Noah's family before Hammarried a second time; moreover the text saith "That all flesh died that movedupon the earth" (Gen. vii. 21). I further reminded them how the prophetsrepeatedly declare "that the son shall not suffer for the iniquity of thefather, but every one be answerable for his own sins."I was troubled to perceive the darkness of their imaginations, and in somepressure of spirit said, "The love of ease and gain are the motives in generalof keeping slaves, and men are wont to take hold of weak arguments to support acause which is unreasonable. I have no interest on either side, save only theinterest which I desire to have in the truth. I believe liberty is their right,and as I see they are not only deprived of it, but treated in other respectswith inhumanity in many places, I believe He who is a refuge for the oppressedwill, in His own time, plead their cause, and happy will it be for such as walkin uprightness before Him." And thus our conversation ended.
Fourteenth of Fifth Month. -- I was this day at Camp Creek Monthly Meeting,and then rode to the mountains up James River, and had a meeting at a Friend'shouse, in both which I felt sorrow of heart, and my tears were poured outbefore the Lord, who was pleased to afford a degree of strength by which waywas opened to clear my mind amongst Friends in those places. From thence I wentto Ford Creek, and so to Cedar Creek again, at which place I now had a meeting.
Here I found a tender seed, and as I was preserved in the ministry to keep lowwith the truth, the same truth in their hearts answered it, that it was a timeof mutual refreshment from the presence of the Lord. I lodged at JamesStandley's, father of William Standley, one of the young men who sufferedimprisonment at Winchester last summer on account of their testimony againstfighting, and I had some satisfactory conversation with him concerning it.
Hence I went to the Swamp Meeting, and to Wayanoke Meeting, and then crossedJames River, and lodged near Burleigh. From the time of my entering Maryland Ihave been much under sorrow, which of late so increased upon me that my mindwas almost overwhelmed, and I may say with the Psalmist, "In my distress Icalled upon the Lord, and cried to my God," who, in infinite goodness, looked upon my affliction, and in my private retirement sent the Comforter for myrelief, for which I humbly bless His holy name.
The sense I had of the state of the churches brought a weight of distressupon me. The gold to me appeared dim, and the fine gold changed, and thoughthis is the case too generally, yet the sense of it in these parts hath in aparticular manner borne heavy upon me. It appeared to me that, through theprevailing of the spirit of this world, the minds of many were brought to aninward desolation, and instead of the spirit of meekness, gentleness, andheavenly wisdom, which are the necessary companions of the true sheep ofChrist, a spirit of fierceness and the love of dominion too generallyprevailed. From small beginnings in error great buildings by degrees areraised, and from one age to another are more and more strengthened by thegeneral concurrence of the people; and as men obtain reputation by theirprofession of the truth, their virtues are mentioned as arguments in favour ofgeneral error; and those of less note, to justify themselves, say, such andsuch good men did the like. By what other steps could the people of Judah ariseto that height in wickedness as to give just ground for the Prophet Isaiah todeclare, in the name of the Lord, "that none calleth for justice, nor anypleadeth for truth" (Isa. lix. 4), or for the Almighty to call upon the greatcity of Jerusalem just before the Babylonish captivity, "If ye can find a man,if there be any who executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth, and I willpardon it" (Jer. v. 1)?
The prospect of a way being open to the same degeneracy, in some parts ofthis newly settled land of America, in respect to our conduct towards thenegroes, hath deeply bowed my mind in this journey, and though briefly torelate how these people are treated is no agreeable work, yet, after oftenreading over the notes I made as I travelled, I find my mind engaged topreserve them. Many of the white people in those provinces take little or nocare of negro marriages; and when negroes marry after their own way, some makeso little account of those marriages, that with views of outward interest theyoften part men from their wives by selling them far asunder, which is commonwhen estates are sold by executors at vendue. Many whose labour is heavy beingfollowed at their business in the field by a man with a whip, hired for thatpurpose, have in common little else allowed but one peck of Indian corn andsome salt, for one week, with a few potatoes; the potatoes they commonly raiseby their labour on the first day of the week. The correction ensuing on theirdisobedience to overseers, or slothfulness in business, is often very severeand sometimes desperate.
Men and women have many times scarcely clothes sufficient to hide theirnakedness, and boys and girls ten and twelve years old are often quite naked amongst their master's children. Some of our Society, and some of the societycalled Newlights, use some endeavours to instruct those they have in reading;but in common this is not only neglected, but disapproved. These are the peopleby whose labour the other inhabitants are in a great measure supported, andmany of them in the luxuries of life. These are the people who have made noagreement to serve us, and who have not forfeited their liberty that we knowof. These are the souls for whom Christ died, and for our conduct towards themwe must answer before Him who is no respecter of persons. They who know theonly true God, and Jesus Christ whom He hath sent, and are thus acquainted withthe merciful, benevolent, gospel spirit, will therein perceive that theindignation of God is kindled against oppression and cruelty, and in beholdingthe great distress of so numerous a people will find cause for mourning.
From my lodgings I went to Burleigh Meeting, where I felt my mind drawn in aquiet, resigned state. After a long silence I felt an engagement to stand up,and through the powerful operation of divine love we were favoured with anedifying meeting. The next meeting we had was at Blackwater, and from thencewent to the Yearly Meeting at the Western Branch. When business began, somequeries were introduced by some of their members for consideration, and, ifapproved, they were to be answered hereafter by their respective MonthlyMeetings. They were the Pennsylvania queries, which had been examined by acommittee of Virginia Yearly Meeting appointed the last year, who made somealterations in them, one of which alterations was made in favour of a customwhich troubled me.
The query was, "Are there any concerned in the importation of negroes, or inbuying them after imported?" which was thus altered, "Are there any concernedin the importation of negroes, or buying them to trade in?" As one queryadmitted with unanimity was, "Are any concerned in buying or vending goodsunlawfully imported, or prize goods?" I found my mind engaged to say that, aswe profess the truth, and were there assembled to support the testimony of it,it was necessary for us to dwell deep and act in that wisdom which is pure, orotherwise we could not prosper. I then mentioned their alteration, and,referring to the last-mentioned query, added, that as purchasing anymerchandise taken by the sword was always allowed to be inconsistent with ourprinciples, so negroes being captives of war or taken by stealth, it wasinconsistent with our testimony to buy them; and their being our fellow-creatures, and sold as slaves, added greatly to the iniquity. Friends appearedattentive to what was said; some expressed a care and concern about theirnegroes; none made any objection by way of reply to what I said, but the querywas admitted as they had altered it.
As some of their members have heretofore traded in negroes, as in othermerchandise, this query being admitted will be one step further than they havehitherto gone, and I did not see it my duty to press for an alteration, butfelt easy to leave it all to Him who alone is able to turn the hearts of themighty, and make way for the spreading of truth on the earth, by meansagreeable to his infinite wisdom. In regard to those they already had, I feltmy mind engaged to labour with them, and said that, as we believe theScriptures were given forth by holy men, as they were moved by the Holy Ghost,and many of us know by experience that they are often helpful and comfortable,and believe ourselves bound in duty to teach our children to read them; Ibelieved that if we were divested of all selfish views, the same good Spiritthat gave them forth would engage us to teach the negroes to read, that theymight have the benefit of them. Some present manifested a concern to take morecare in the education of their negroes.
Twenty-ninth Fifth Month. -- At the house where I lodged was a meeting ofministers and elders. I found an engagement to speak freely and plainly to themconcerning their slaves; mentioning how they as the first rank in the society,whose conduct in that case was much noticed by others, were under the strongerobligations to look carefully to themselves -- expressing how needful it wasfor them in that situation to be thoroughly divested of all selfish views;that, living in the pure truth, and acting conscientiously towards those peoplein their education and otherwise, they might be instrumental in helping forwarda work so exceedingly necessary, and so much neglected amongst them. At thetwelfth hour the meeting of worship began, which was a solid meeting.
The next day, about the tenth hour, Friends met to finish their business, andthen the meeting for worship ensued, which to me was a labourious time; butthrough the goodness of the Lord, truth, I believed, gained some ground, and itwas a strengthening opportunity to the honest-hearted.
About this time I wrote an epistle to Friends in the back settlements ofNorth Carolina, as follows: -TO FRIENDS AT THEIR MONTHLY MEETING AT NEW GARDEN AND CANE CREEK, IN NORTHCAROLINA: -DEAR FRIENDS, -- It having pleased the Lord to draw me forth on a visit tosome parts of Virginia and Carolina, you have often been in my mind; and thoughmy way is not clear to come in person to visit you, yet I feel it in my heartto communicate a few things, as they arise in the love of truth. First, my dearfriends, dwell in humility; and take heed that no views of outward gain get toodeep hold of you, that so, your eyes being single to the Lord, you may be preserved in the way of safety. Where people let loose their minds after thelove of outward things, and are more engaged in pursuing the profits andseeking the friendships of this world, than to be inwardly acquainted with theway of true peace, they walk in a vain shadow, while the true comfort of lifeis wanting. Their examples are often hurtful to others; and their treasuresthus collected do many times prove dangerous snares to their children.
But where people are sincerely devoted to follow Christ, and dwell under theinfluence of His Holy Spirit, their stability and firmness, through a divineblessing, is at times like dew on the tender plants round about them, and theweightiness of their spirits secretly works on the minds of others. In thiscondition, through the spreading influence of divine love, they feel a careover the flock, and way is opened for maintaining good order in the Society.
And though we may meet with opposition from another spirit, yet, as there is adwelling in meekness, feeling our spirits subject, and moving only in thegentle, peaceable wisdom, the inward reward of quietness will be greater thanall our difficulties. Where the pure life is kept to, and meetings ofdiscipline are held in the authority of it, we find by experience that they arecomfortable, and tend to the health of the body.
While I write, the youth come fresh in my way. Dear young people, choose Godfor your portion; love His truth, and be not ashamed of it; choose for yourcompany such as serve him in uprightness; and shun as most dangerous theconversation of those whose lives are of an ill savour; for by frequenting suchcompany some hopeful young people have come to great loss, and been drawn fromless evils to greater, to their utter ruin. In the bloom of youth no ornamentis so lovely as that of virtue, nor any enjoyments equal to those which wepartake of in fully resigning ourselves to the divine will. These enjoymentsadd sweetness to all other comforts, and give true satisfaction in company andconversation, where people are mutually acquainted with it; and as your mindsare thus seasoned with the truth, you will find strength to abide steadfast tothe testimony of it, and be prepared for services in the church.
And now, dear friends and brethren, as you are improving a wilderness, andmay be numbered amongst the first planters in one part of a province, I beseechyou, in the love of Jesus Christ, wisely to consider the force of yourexamples, and think how much your successors may be thereby affected. It is ahelp in a country, yea, and a great favour and blessing, when customs firstsettled are agreeable to sound wisdom; but when they are otherwise the effectof them is grievous; and children feel themselves encompassed with difficultiesprepared for them by their predecessors.
As moderate care and exercise, under the direction of true wisdom, are usefulboth to mind and body, so by these means in general the real wants of life areeasily supplied, our gracious Father having so proportioned one to the otherthat keeping in the medium we may pass on quietly. Where slaves are purchasedto do our labour, numerous difficulties attend it. To rational creaturesbondage is uneasy, and frequently occasions sourness and discontent in them;which affects the family and such as claim the mastery over them. Thus peopleand their children are many times encompassed with vexations, which arise fromtheir applying to wrong methods to get a living.
I have been informed that there is a large number of Friends in your partswho have no slaves; and in tender and most affectionate love I beseech you tokeep clear from purchasing any. Look, my dear friends, to divine Providence,and follow in simplicity that exercise of body, that plainness and frugality,which true wisdom leads to; so may you be preserved from those dangers whichattend such as are aiming at outward ease and greatness.
Treasures, though small, attained on a true principle of virtue, are sweet;and while we walk in the light of the Lord there is true comfort andsatisfaction in the possession; neither the murmurs of an oppressed people, nora throbbing uneasy conscience, nor anxious thoughts about the events of things,hinder the enjoyment of them.
When we look towards the end of life, and think on the division of oursubstance among our successors, if we know that it was collected in the fear ofthe Lord, in honesty, in equity, and in uprightness of heart before Him, we mayconsider it as His gift to us, and, with a single eye to His blessing, bestowit on those we leave behind us. Such is the happiness of the plain ways of truevirtue. "The work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect ofrighteousness quietness and assurance forever" (Isa. xxxii. 17).
Dwell here, my dear friends; and then in remote and solitary deserts you mayfind true peace and satisfaction. If the Lord be God, in truth and reality,there is safety for us: for He is a stronghold in the day of trouble, andknoweth them that trust in Him.
ISLE OF WIGHT COUNTY, in VIRGINIA,20th of the 5th Month, 1757.
From the Yearly Meeting in Virginia I went to Carolina, and on the 1st ofSixth Month was at Wells Monthly Meeting, where the spring of the gospelministry was opened, and the love of Jesus Christ experienced among us; to Hisname be the praise.
Here my brother joined with some Friends from New Garden who were goinghomeward; and I went next to Simons Creek Monthly Meeting, where I was silentduring the meeting for worship. When business came on, my mind was exercisedconcerning the poor slaves, but I did not feel my way clear to speak. In thiscondition I was bowed in spirit before the Lord, and with tears and inwardsupplication besought Him so to open my understanding that I might know Hiswill concerning me; and at length my mind was settled in silence. Near the endof their business a member of their meeting expressed a concern that had sometime lain upon him, on account of Friends so much neglecting their duty in theeducation of their slaves, and proposed having meetings sometimes appointed forthem on a week-day, to be attended only by some Friends to be named in theirMonthly Meetings.
Many present appeared to unite with the proposal. One said he had oftenwondered that they, being our fellow-creatures, and capable of religiousunderstanding, had been so exceedingly neglected; another expressed the likeconcern, and appeared zealous that in future it might be more closelyconsidered. At length a minute was made, and the further consideration of itreferred to their next Monthly Meeting. The Friend who made this proposal hathnegroes; he told me that he was at New Garden, about two hundred and fiftymiles from home, and came back alone; that in this solitary journey thisexercise, in regard to the education of their negroes, was from time to timerenewed in his mind. A Friend of some note in Virginia, who hath slaves, toldme that he being far from home on a lonesome journey, had many serious thoughtsabout them: and his mind was so impressed therewith that he believed he saw atime coming when divine Providence would alter the circumstance of thesepeople, respecting their condition as slaves.
From hence I went to a meeting at Newbegun Creek, and sat a considerable timein much weakness; then I felt truth open the way to speak a little in muchplainness and simplicity, till at length, through the increase of divine loveamongst us, we had a seasoning opportunity. This was also the case at the headof Little River, where we had a crowded meeting on a First-day. I went thenceto the Old Neck, where I was led into a careful searching out of the secretworkings of the mystery of iniquity, which, under a cover of religion, exaltsitself against that pure spirit which leads in the way of meekness and self-denial. Pineywoods was the last meeting I was at in Carolina; it was large, andmy heart being deeply engaged, I was drawn forth into a fervent labour amongstthem.
When I was at Newbegun Creek a Friend was there who laboured for his living,having no negroes, and who had been a minister many years. He came to me thenext day, and as we rode together he signified that he wanted to talk with me concerning a difficulty he had been under, which he related nearly as follows:
-- That as moneys had of late years been raised by a tax to carry on the wars,he had a scruple in his mind in regard to paying it, and chose rather to sufferdistraint of his goods; but as he was the only person who refused it in thoseparts, and knew not that any one else was in the like circumstances, hesignified that it had been a heavy trial to him, especially as some of hisbrethren had been uneasy with his conduct in that case. He added that, from asympathy he felt with me yesterday in meeting, he found freedom thus to openthe matter in the way of querying concerning Friends in our parts; I told himthe state of Friends amongst us as well as I was able, and also that I had forsome time been under the like scruple. I believed him to be one who wasconcerned to walk uprightly before the Lord, and esteemed it my duty topreserve this note concerning him, Samuel Newby.
From hence I went back into Virginia, and had a meeting near JamesCowpland's; it was a time of inward suffering, but through the goodness of theLord I was made content; at another meeting, through the renewings of purelove, we had a very comfortable season.
Travelling up and down of late, I have had renewed evidences that to befaithful to the Lord, and content with His will concerning me, is a mostnecessary and useful lesson for me to be learning; looking less at the effectsof my labour than at the pure motion and reality of the concern, as it arisesfrom heavenly love. In the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength; and as themind, by humble resignation, is united to Him, and we utter words from aninward knowledge that they arise from the heavenly spring, though our way maybe difficult, and it may require close attention to keep in it, and though thematter in which we may be led may tend to our own abasement; yet, if wecontinue in patience and meekness, heavenly peace will be the reward of ourlabours.
I attended Curles Meeting, which, though small, was reviving to the honest-hearted. Afterwards I went to Black Creek and Caroline Meetings, from whence,accompanied by William Standley before mentioned, I rode to Goose Creek, beingmuch through the woods, and about one hundred miles. We lodged the first nightat a public-house; the second in the woods; and the next day we reached aFriend's house at Goose Creek. In the woods we were under some disadvantage,having no fire-works nor bells for our horses, but we stopped a little beforenight and let them feed on the wild grass, which was plentiful, in the meantime cutting with our knives a store against night. We then secured our horses,and gathering some bushes under an oak we lay down; but the mosquitoes beingnumerous and the ground damp I slept but little.
Thus lying in the wilderness, and looking at the stars, I was led tocontemplate on the condition of our first parents when they were sent forthfrom the garden; how the Almighty, though they had been disobedient, continuedto be a Father to them, and showed them what tended to their felicity asintelligent creatures, and was acceptable to Him. To provide things relative toour outward living, in the way of true wisdom, is good, and the gift ofimproving in things useful is a good gift, and comes from the Father of Lights.
Many have had this gift; and from age to age there have been improvements ofthis kind made in the world. But some, not keeping to the pure gift, have inthe creaturely cunning and self-exaltation sought out many inventions. As thefirst motive to these inventions of men, as distinct from that uprightness inwhich man was created, was evil, so the effects have been and are evil. It is,therefore, as necessary for us at this day constantly to attend on the heavenlygift, to be qualified to use rightly the good things in this life amidst greatimprovements, as it was for our first parents when they were without anyimprovements, without any friend or father but God only.
I was at a meeting at Goose Creek, and next at a Monthly Meeting at Fairfax,where, through the gracious dealing of the Almighty with us, His powerprevailed over many hearts. From thence I went to Monoquacy and Pipe Creek inMaryland; at both places I had cause humbly to adore Him who had supported methrough many exercises, and by whose help I was enabled to reach the truewitness in the hearts of others. There were some hopeful young people in thoseparts. I had meetings afterwards at John Everit's in Monalen, and atHuntingdon, and I was made humbly thankful to the Lord, who opened my heartamongst the people in these new settlements, so that it was a time ofencouragement to the honest-minded.
At Monalen a Friend gave me some account of a religious society among theDutch, called Mennonists, and amongst other things related a passage insubstance as follows: One of the Mennonists having acquaintance with a man ofanother society at a considerable distance, and being with his waggon onbusiness near the house of his said acquaintance and night coming on, he hadthoughts of putting up with him, but passing by his fields, and observing thedistressed appearance of his slaves, he kindled a fire in the woods hard by,and lay there that night. His said acquaintance hearing where he lodged, andafterward meeting the Mennonist, told him of it, adding he should have beenheartily welcome at his house, and from their acquaintance in former timewondered at his conduct in that case. The Mennonist replied, "Ever since Ilodged by thy field I have wanted an opportunity to speak with thee. I hadintended to come to thy house for entertainment, but seeing thy slaves at theirwork, and observing the manner of their dress, I had no liking to come topartake with thee." He then admonished him to use them with more humanity, and added, "As I lay by the fire that night, I thought that as I was a man ofsubstance thou wouldst have received me freely; but if I had been as poor asone of thy slaves, and had no power to help myself, I should have received fromthy hand no kinder usage than they."In this journey I was out about two months, and travelled about elevenhundred and fifty miles. I returned home under an humbling sense of thegracious dealings of the Lord with me, in preserving me through many trials andafflictions.
Chapter 5
A FEW years past, money being made current in our province for carrying onwars, and to be called in again by taxes laid on the inhabitants, my mind wasoften affected with the thoughts of paying such taxes; and I believe it rightfor me to preserve a memorandum concerning it. I was told that Friends inEngland frequently paid taxes, when the money was applied to such purposes. Ihad conversation with several noted Friends on the subject, who all favouredthe payment of such taxes; some of them I preferred before myself, and thismade me easier for a time; yet there was in the depth of my mind a scruplewhich I never could get over; and at certain times I was greatly distressed onthat account.
I believed that there were some upright-hearted men who paid such taxes, yetcould not see that their example was a sufficient reason for me to do so, whileI believe that the Spirit of truth required of me, as an individual, to sufferpatiently the distress of goods, rather than pay actively.
To refuse the active payment of a tax which our Society generally paid wasexceedingly disagreeable; but to do a thing contrary to my conscience appearedyet more dreadful. When this exercise came upon me, I knew of none under thelike difficulty; and in my distress I besought the Lord to enable me to give upall, that so I might follow Him wheresoever He was pleased to lead me. Underthis exercise I went to our Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia in the year 1755; atwhich a committee was appointed of some from each Quarterly Meeting, tocorrespond with the meeting for sufferers in London; and another to visit ourMonthly and Quarterly Meetings. After their appointment, before the lastadjournment of the meeting, it was agreed that these two committees should meettogether in Friends' school-house in the city, to consider some things in whichthe cause of truth was concerned. They accordingly had a weighty conference in the fear of the Lord; at which time I perceived there were many Friends under ascruple like that before mentioned.(1)As scrupling to pay a tax on account of the application hath seldom beenheard of heretofore, even amongst men of integrity, who have steadily bornetheir testimony against outward wars in their time, I may therefore note somethings which have occurred to my mind, as I have been inwardly exercised onthat account. From the steady opposition which faithful Friends in early timesmade to wrong things then approved, they were hated and persecuted by menliving in the spirit of this world, and suffering with firmness, they were madea blessing to the Church, and the work prospered. It equally concerns men inevery age to take heed to their own spirits; and in comparing their situationwith ours, to me it appears that there was less danger of their being infectedwith the spirit of this world, in paying such taxes, than is the case with usnow. They had little or no share in civil government, and many of them declaredthat they were, through the power of God, separated from the spirit in whichwars were, and being afflicted by the rulers on account of their testimony,there was less likelihood of their uniting in spirit with them in thingsinconsistent with the purity of truth.
We, from the first settlement of this land, have known little or no troublesof that sort. The profession of our predecessors was for a time accountedreproachful, but at length, their uprightness being understood by the rulers,and their innocent sufferings moving them, our way of worship was tolerated,and many of our members in these colonies became active in civil government.
Being thus tried with favour and prosperity, this world appeared inviting; ourminds have been turned to the improvement of our country, to merchandise andthe sciences, amongst which are many things useful, if followed in pure wisdom;but in our present condition I believe it will not be denied that a carnal mindis gaining upon us. Some of our members, who are officers in civil government,are, in one case or other, called upon in their respective stations to assistin things relative to the wars; but being in doubt whether to act or to craveto be excused from their office, if they see their brethren united in thepayment of a tax to carry on the said wars, may think their case not muchdifferent, and so might quench the tender movings of the Holy Spirit in theirminds. Thus, by small degrees, we might approach so near to fighting that thedistinction would be little else than the name of a peaceable people.
It requires great self-denial and resignation of ourselves to God, to attainthat state wherein we can freely cease from fighting when wrongfully invaded,if, by our fighting, there were a probability of overcoming the invaders.
Whoever rightly attains to it does in some degree feel that spirit in which ourRedeemer gave His life for us; and through divine goodness many of ourpredecessors, and many now living, have learned this blessed lesson; but manyothers, having their religion chiefly by education, and not being enough acquainted with that cross which crucifies to the world, do manifest a temperdistinguishable from that of an entire trust in God. In calmly consideringthese things, it hath not appeared strange to me that an exercise hath nowfallen upon some, which, with respect to the outward means, is different fromwhat was known to many of those who went before us.
Some time after the Yearly Meeting, the said committees met at Philadelphia,and, by adjournments, continued sitting several days. The calamities of warwere now increasing; the frontier inhabitants of Pennsylvania were frequentlysurprised, some were slain, and many taken captive by the Indians; and whilethese committees sat, the corpse of one so slain was brought in a waggon, andtaken through the streets of the city in his bloody garments, to alarm thepeople and rouse them to war.
Friends thus met were not all of one mind in relation to the tax, which, tothose who scrupled it, made the way more difficult. To refuse an active paymentat such a time might be construed into an act of disloyalty, and appearedlikely to displease the rulers not only here but in England; still there was ascruple so fixed on the minds of many Friends that nothing moved it. It was aconference the most weighty that ever I was at, and the hearts of many werebowed in reverence before the Most High. Some Friends of the said committeeswho appeared easy to pay the tax, after several adjournments, withdrew; othersof them continued till the last. At length an epistle of tender love andcaution to Friends in Pennsylvania was drawn up, and being read several timesand corrected, was signed by such as were free to sign it, and afterward sentto the Monthly and Quarterly Meetings.
Ninth of Eighth Month, 1757. -- Orders came at night to the military officersin our county (Burlington), directing them to draft the militia, and prepare anumber of men to go off as soldiers, to the relief of the English at FortWilliam Henry, in New York government; a few days after which there was ageneral review of the militia at Mount Holly, and a number of men were chosenand sent off under some officers. Shortly after, there came orders to draftthree times as many, who were to hold themselves in readiness to march whenfresh orders came. On the 17th there was a meeting of the military officers atMount Holly, who agreed on draft; orders were sent to the men so chosen to meettheir respective captains at set times and places, those in our township tomeet at Mount Holly, amongst whom were a considerable number of our Society. Mymind being affected herewith, I had fresh opportunity to see and consider theadvantage of living in the real substance of religion, where practice dothharmonize with principle. Amongst the officers are men of understanding, whohave some regard to sincerity where they see it; and when such in the executionof their office have men to deal with whom they believe to be upright-hearted,it is a painful task to put them to trouble on account of scruples ofconscience, and they will be likely to avoid it as much as easily may be. But where men profess to be so meek and heavenly-minded, and to have their trust sofirmly settled in God that they cannot join in wars, and yet by their spiritand conduct in common life manifest a contrary disposition, their difficultiesare great at such a time.
When officers who are anxiously endeavouring to get troops to answer thedemands of their superiors see men who are insincere pretend scruples ofconscience in hopes of being excused from a dangerous employment, it is likelythey will be roughly handled. In this time of commotion some of our young menleft these parts and tarried abroad till it was over; some came, and proposedto go as soldiers; others appeared to have a real tender scruple in their mindsagainst joining in wars, and were much humbled under the apprehension of atrial so near. I had conversation with several of them to my satisfaction. Whenthe captain came to town, some of the last-mentioned went and told him insubstance as follows: -- That they could not bear arms for conscience' sake;nor could they hire any to go in their places, being resigned as to the event.
At length the captain acquainted them all that they might return home for thepresent, but he required them to provide themselves as soldiers, and be inreadiness to march when called upon. This was such a time as I had not seenbefore; and yet I may say, with thankfulness to the Lord, that I believed thetrial was intended for our good; and I was favoured with resignation to Him.
The French army having taken the fort they were besieging, destroyed it andwent away; the company of men who were first drafted, after some days' march,had orders to return home, and those on the second draft were no more calledupon on that occasion.
Fourth of Fourth Month, 1758. -- Orders came to some officers in Mount Hollyto prepare quarters for a short time for about one hundred soldiers. An officerand two other men, all inhabitants of our town, came to my house. The officertold me that he came to desire me to provide lodging and entertainment for twosoldiers, and that six shillings a week per man would be allowed as pay for it.
The case being new and unexpected, I made no answer suddenly, but sat a timesilent, my mind being inward. I was fully convinced that the proceedings inwars are inconsistent with the purity of the Christian religion; and to behired to entertain men, who were then under pay as soldiers, was a difficultywith me. I expected they had legal authority for what they did; and after ashort time I said to the officer, If the men are sent here for entertainment, Ibelieve I shall not refuse to admit them into my house, but the nature of thecase is such that I expect I cannot keep them on hire. One of the men intimatedthat he thought I might do it consistently with my religious principles. Towhich I made no reply, believing silence at that time best for me. Though theyspake of two, there came only one, who tarried at my house about two weeks, andbehaved himself civilly. When the officer came to pay me, I told him I couldnot take pay, having admitted him into my house in a passive obedience to authority. I was on horseback when he spake to me, and as I turned from him, hesaid he was obliged to me; to which I said nothing; but, thinking on theexpression, I grew uneasy; and afterwards, being near where he lived, I wentand told him on what grounds I refused taking pay for keeping the soldier.
I have been informed that Thomas a Kempis lived and died in the professionof the Roman Catholic religion; and, in reading his writings, I have believedhim to be a man of a true Christian spirit, as fully so as many who diedmartyrs because they could not join with some superstitions in that Church. Alltrue Christians are of the same spirit, but their gifts are diverse, JesusChrist appointing to each one his peculiar office, agreeably to His infinitewisdom.
John Huss contended against the errors which had crept into the Church, inopposition to the Council of Constance, which the historian reports to haveconsisted of some thousand persons. He modestly vindicated the cause which hebelieved was right; and though his language and conduct towards his judgesappear to have been respectful, yet he never could be moved from the principlessettled in his mind. To use his own words: "This I most humbly require anddesire of you all, even for His sake who is the God of us all, that I be notcompelled to the thing which my conscience doth repugn or strive against." Andagain, in his answer to the Emperor: "I refuse nothing, most noble Emperor,whatsoever the council shall decree or determine upon me, only this one thing Iexcept, that I do not offend God and my conscience."(2) At length, rather thanact contrary to that which he believed the Lord required of him, he chose tosuffer death by fire. Thomas a Kempis, without disputing against the articlesthen generally agreed to, appears to have laboured, by pious example as well asby preaching and writing, to promote virtue and the inward spiritual religion;and I believe they were both sincere-hearted followers of Christ. True charityis an excellent virtue; and sincerely to labour for their good, whose belief inall points doth not agree with ours, is a happy state.
Near the beginning of the year 1758, I went one evening, in company with aFriend, to visit a sick person; and before our return we were told of a womanliving near, who had for several days been disconsolate, occasioned by a dream,wherein death, and the judgments of the Almighty after death, were representedto her mind in a moving manner. Her sadness on that account being worn off, theFriend with whom I was in company went to see her, and had some religiousconversation with her and her husband. With this visit they were somewhataffected, and the man, with many tears, expressed his satisfaction. In a shorttime after, the poor man, being on the river in a storm of wind, was with onemore drowned.
Eighth Month, 1758. -- Having had drawings in my mind to be at the QuarterlyMeeting in Chester County, and at some meetings in the county of Philadelphia,I went first to said Quarterly Meeting, which was large. Several weighty matters came under consideration and debate, and the Lord was pleased toqualify some of His servants with strength and firmness to bear the burden ofthe day. Though I said but little, my mind was deeply exercised, and, under asense of God's love, in the anointing and fitting of some young men for hiswork, I was comforted, and my heart was tendered before Him. From hence I wentto the Youth's Meeting at Darby, where my beloved friend and brother BenjaminJones met me by appointment before I left home, to join in the visit. We wereat Radnor, Merion, Richland, North Wales, Plymouth, and Abington meetings, andhad cause to bow in reverence before the Lord, our gracious God, by whose helpway was opened for us from day to day. I was out about two weeks, and rodeabout two hundred miles.
The Monthly Meeting of Philadelphia having been under a concern on account ofsome Friends who this summer (1758) had bought negro slaves, proposed to theirQuarterly Meeting to have the minute reconsidered in the Yearly Meeting, whichwas made last on that subject, and the said Quarterly Meeting appointed acommittee to consider it, and to report to their next. This committee havingmet once and adjourned, and I, going to Philadelphia to meet a committee of theYearly Meeting, was in town the evening on which the Quarterly Meeting'scommittee met the second time, and finding an inclination to sit with them, Iwith some others was admitted, and Friends had a weighty conference on thesubject. Soon after their next Quarterly meeting I heard that the case wascoming to our Yearly Meeting. This brought a weighty exercise upon me, andunder a sense of my own infirmities, and the great danger I felt of turningaside from perfect purity, my mind was often drawn to retire alone, and put upmy prayers to the Lord that He would be graciously pleased to strengthen me;that, setting aside all views of self-interest and the friendship of thisworld, I might stand fully resigned to His holy will.
In this Yearly Meeting several weighty matters were considered, and towardthe last that in relation to dealing with persons who purchase slaves. Duringthe several sittings of the said meeting, my mind was frequently covered withinward prayer, and I could say with David, "that tears were my meat day andnight." The case of slave-keeping lay heavy upon me, nor did I find anyengagement to speak directly to any other matter before the meeting. Now whenthis case was opened several faithful Friends spake weightily thereto, withwhich I was comforted; and feeling a concern to cast in my mite, I said insubstance as follows: -"In the difficulties attending us in this life nothing is more preciousthan the mind of truth inwardly manifested; and it is my earnest desire that inthis weighty matter we may be so truly humbled as to be favoured with a clearunderstanding of the mind of truth, and follow it; this would be of moreadvantage to the Society than any medium not in the clearness of divine wisdom.
The case is difficult to some who have slaves, but if such set aside all self-interest, and come to be weaned from the desire of getting estates, or evenfrom holding them together, when truth requires the contrary, I believe waywill so open that they will know how to steer through those difficulties."Many Friends appeared to be deeply bowed under the weight of the work, andmanifested much firmness in their love to the cause of truth and universalrighteousness on the earth. And though none did openly justify the practice ofslave-keeping in general, yet some appeared concerned lest the meeting shouldgo into such measures as might give uneasiness to many brethren, alleging that,if Friends patiently continued under the exercise, the Lord in His time mightopen a way for the deliverance of these people. Finding an engagement to speak,I said, "My mind is often led to consider the purity of the divine Being, andthe justice of His judgments; and herein my soul is covered with awfulness. Icannot omit to hint of some cases where people have not been treated with thepurity of justice, and the event hath been lamentable. Many slaves on thiscontinent are oppressed, and their cries have reached the ears of the MostHigh. Such are the purity and certainty of His judgments, that He cannot bepartial in our favour. In infinite love and goodness, He hath opened ourunderstanding from one time to another concerning our duty towards this people,and it is not a time for delay. Should we now be sensible of what He requiresof us, and through a respect to the private interest of some persons, orthrough a regard to some friendships which do not stand on an immutablefoundation, neglect to do our duty in firmness and constancy, still waiting forsome extraordinary means to bring about their deliverance, God may by terriblethings in righteousness answer us in this matter."Many faithful brethren laboured with great firmness, and the love of truth ina good degree prevailed. Several who had negroes expressed their desire that arule might be made to deal with such Friends as offenders who bought slaves infuture. To this it was answered that the root of this evil would never beeffectually struck at, until a thorough search was made in the circumstances ofsuch Friends as kept negroes, with respect to the righteousness of theirmotives in keeping them, that impartial justice might be administeredthroughout. Several Friends expressed their desire that a visit might be madeto such Friends as kept slaves, and many others said that they believed libertywas the negro's right; to which, at length, no opposition was publicly made. Aminute was made more full on that subject than any heretofore; and the names of several Friends entered who were free to join in a visit to such as keptslaves.
Chapter 6
ELEVENTH of Eleventh Month, 1758. -- This day I set out for Concord; theQuarterly Meeting heretofore held there was now, by reason of a great increaseof members, divided into two by the agreement of Friends at our last YearlyMeeting. Here I met with our beloved friends Samuel Spavold and Mary Kirby fromEngland, and with Joseph White from Bucks County; the latter had taken leave ofhis family in order to go on a religious visit to Friends in England, and,through divine goodness, we were favoured with a strengthening opportunitytogether.
After this meeting I joined with my friends, Daniel Stanton and JohnScarborough, in visiting Friends who had slaves. At night we had a familymeeting at William Trimble's, many young people being there; and it was aprecious, reviving opportunity. Next morning we had a comfortable sitting witha sick neighbour, and thence to the burial of the corpse of a Friend atUwchland Meeting, at which were many people, and it was a time of divinefavour, after which we visited some who had slaves. In the evening we had afamily meeting at a Friend's house, where the channel of the gospel love wasopened, and my mind was comforted after a hard day's labour. The next day wewere at Goshen Monthly Meeting, and on the 18th attended the Quarterly Meetingat London Grove, it being first held at that place. Here we met again with allthe before-mentioned Friends, and had some edifying meetings.
Near the conclusion of the meeting for business, Friends were incited toconstancy in supporting the testimony of truth, and reminded of the necessitywhich the disciples of Christ are under to attend principally to His businessas He is pleased to open it to us, and to be particularly careful to have ourminds redeemed from the love of wealth, and our outward affairs in as littleroom as may be, that no temporal concerns may entangle our affections, orhinder us from diligently following the dictates of truth in labouring topromote the pure spirit of meekness and heavenly-mindedness amongst thechildren of men in these days of calamity and distress, wherein God is visitingour land with His just judgments.
Each of these Quarterly Meetings was large and sat near eight hours. I hadoccasion to consider that it is a weighty thing to speak much in large meetingsfor business, for except our minds are rightly prepared, and we clearlyunderstand the case we speak to, instead of forwarding we hinder business, andmake more labour for those on whom the burden of the work is laid. If selfishviews or a partial spirit have any room in our minds, we are unfit for theLord's work; if we have a clear prospect of the business, and proper weight onour minds to speak, we should avoid useless apologies and repetitions. Wherepeople are gathered from far, and adjourning a meeting of business is attendedwith great difficulty, it behoves all to be cautious how they detain a meeting,especially when they have sat six or seven hours, and have a great distance toride home. After this meeting I rode home.
In the beginning of the twelfth month I joined in company with my friendsJohn Sykes and Daniel Stanton, in visiting such as had slaves. Some whosehearts were rightly exercised about them appeared to be glad of our visit, butin some places our way was more difficult. I often saw the necessity of keepingdown to that root from whence our concern proceeded, and have cause in reverentthankfulness humbly to bow down before the Lord, who was near to me, andpreserved my mind in calmness under some sharp conflicts, and begat a spirit ofsympathy and tenderness in me towards some who were grievously entangled by thespirit of this world.
First Month, 1759. -- Having found my mind drawn to visit some of the moreactive members in our Society at Philadelphia, who had slaves, I met my friendJohn Churchman there by agreement, and we continued about a week in the city.
We visited some that were sick, and some widows and their families, and theother part of our time was mostly employed in visiting such as had slaves. Itwas a time of deep exercise, but, looking often to the Lord for His assistance,He in unspeakable kindness favoured us with the influence of that Spirit whichcrucifies to the greatness and splendour of this world, and enabled us to gothrough some heavy labours, in which we found peace.
Twenty-fourth of Third Month, 1759. -- After attending our general SpringMeeting at Philadelphia I again joined with John Churchman on a visit to somewho had slaves in Philadelphia, and with thankfulness to our Heavenly Father Imay say that divine love and a true sympathizing tenderness of heart prevailedat times in this service.
Having at times perceived a shyness in some Friends of considerable notetowards me, I found an engagement in gospel love to pay a visit to one of them;and as I dwelt under the exercise, I felt a resignedness in my mind to go andtell him privately that I had a desire to have an opportunity with him alone;to this proposal he readily agreed, and then, in the fear of the Lord, thingsrelating to that shyness were searched to the bottom, and we had a largeconference, which, I believe was of use to both of us, and I am thankful thatway was opened for it.
Fourteenth of Sixth Month. -- Having felt drawings in my mind to visitFriends about Salem, and having the approbation of our Monthly Meeting, Iattended their Quarterly Meeting, and was out seven days, and attended sevenmeetings; in some of them I was chiefly silent; in others, through thebaptizing power of truth, my heart was enlarged in heavenly love, and I found anear fellowship with the brethren and sisters, in the manifold trials attendingtheir Christian progress through this world.
Seventh Month. -- I have found an increasing concern on my mind to visit someactive members in our Society who have slaves, and having no opportunity of thecompany of such as were named in the minutes of the Yearly Meeting, I went alone to their houses, and, in the fear of the Lord, acquainted them with theexercise I was under; and thus, sometimes by a few words, I found myselfdischarged from a heavy burden. After this, our friend John Churchman cominginto our province with a view to be at some meetings, and to join again in thevisit to those who had slaves, I bore him company in the said visit to someactive members, and found inward satisfaction.
At our Yearly Meeting this year, we had some weighty seasons, in which thepower of truth was largely extended, to the strengthening of the honest-minded.
As the epistles which were to be sent to the Yearly Meetings on this continentwere read, I observed that in most of them, both this year and the last, it wasrecommended to Friends to labour against buying and keeping slaves, and in someof them the subject was closely treated upon. As this practice hath long been aheavy exercise to me, and I have often waded through mortifying labours on thataccount, and at times in some meetings have been almost alone therein, I washumbly bowed in thankfulness in observing the increasing concern in ourreligious society, and seeing how the Lord was raising up and qualifyingservants for His work, not only in this respect, but for promoting the cause oftruth in general.
This meeting continued near a week. For several days, in the fore part of it,my mind was drawn into a deep inward stillness, and being at times covered withthe spirit of supplication, my heart was secretly poured out before the Lord.
Near the conclusion of the meeting for business, way opened in the pureflowings of divine love for me to express what lay upon me, which, as it thenarose in my mind, was first to show how deep answers to deep in the hearts ofthe sincere and upright; though, in their different growths, they may not allhave attained to the same clearness in some points relating to our testimony.
And I was then led to mention the integrity and constancy of many martyrs whogave their lives for the testimony of Jesus, and yet, in some points they helddoctrines distinguishable from some which we hold, that, in all ages, wherepeople were faithful to the light and understanding which the Most Highafforded them, they found acceptance with Him, and though there may bedifferent ways of thinking amongst us in some particulars, yet, if we mutuallykeep to that spirit and power which crucifies to the world, which teaches us tobe content with things really needful, and to avoid all superfluities, and giveup our hearts to fear and serve the Lord, true unity may still be preservedamongst us; that, if those who were at times under sufferings on account ofsome scruples of conscience kept low and humble, and in their conduct in lifemanifested a spirit of true charity, it would be more likely to reach thewitness in others, and be of more service in the Church, than if theirsufferings were attended with a contrary spirit and conduct. In this exercise Iwas drawn into a sympathizing tenderness with the sheep of Christ, howeverdistinguished one from another in this world, and the like disposition appeared to spread over others in the meeting. Great is the goodness of the Lord towardsHis poor creatures.
An epistle went forth from this Yearly Meeting which I think good to give aplace in this Journal. It is as follows: -From the Yearly Meeting, held at Philadelphia, for Pennsylvania and NewJersey, from the 22nd day of the Ninth Month to the 28th of the same,inclusive, 1759.
TO THE QUARTERLY AND MONTHLY MEETINGS OF FRIENDS BELONGING TO THE SAIDYEARLY MEETING: -DEARLY BELOVED FRIENDS AND BRETHREN, --In an awful sense of the wisdom andgoodness of the Lord our God, whose tender mercies have been continued to us inthis land, we affectionately salute you, with sincere and fervent desires thatwe may reverently regard the dispensations of His providence, and improve underthem.
The empires and kingdoms of the earth are subject to His almighty power. Heis the God of the spirits of all flesh, and deals with His people agreeably tothat wisdom, the depth whereof is to us unsearchable. We in these provinces maysay, He hath, as a gracious and tender parent, dealt bountifully with us, evenfrom the days of our fathers. It was He who strengthened them to labour throughthe difficulties attending the improvement of a wilderness, and made way forthem in the hearts of the natives, so that by them they were comforted in timesof want and distress. It was by the gracious influences of His Holy Spirit thatthey were disposed to work righteousness, and walk uprightly towards each otherand towards the natives; in life and conversation to manifest the excellency ofthe principles and doctrines of the Christian religion, whereby they retaintheir esteem and friendship. Whilst they were labouring for the necessaries oflife, many of them were fervently engaged to promote pity and virtue in theearth, and to educate their children in the fear of the Lord.
If we carefully consider the peaceable measures pursued in the firstsettlement of land, and that freedom from the desolations of wars which for along time we enjoyed, we shall find ourselves under strong obligations to theAlmighty, who, when the earth is so generally polluted with wickedness, givesus a being in a part so signally favoured with tranquillity and plenty, and inwhich the glad tidings of the gospel of Christ are so freely published, that wemay justly say with the Psalmist, "What shall we render unto the Lord for allHis benefits?"Our own real good and the good of our posterity in some measure depends onthe part we act, and it nearly concerns us to try our foundations impartially.
Such are the different rewards of the just and unjust in a future state, thatto attend diligently to the dictates of the spirit of Christ, to devoteourselves to His service, and to engage fervently in His cause, during our short stay in this world, is a choice well becoming a free, intelligentcreature. We shall thus clearly see and consider that the dealings of God withmankind, in a national capacity, as recorded in Holy Writ, do sufficientlyevidence the truth of that saying, "It is righteousness which exalteth anation"; and though He doth not at all times suddenly execute His judgments ona sinful people in this life, yet we see in many instances that when "menfollow lying vanities they forsake their own mercies"; and as a proud, selfishspirit prevails and spreads among a people, so partial judgment, oppression,discord, envy, and confusions increase, and provinces and kingdoms are made todrink the cup of adversity as a reward of their own doing. Thus the inspiredprophet, reasoning with the degenerated Jews, saith, "Thine own wickednessshall correct thee, and thy backsliding shall reprove thee; know, therefore,that it is an evil thing and bitter that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God,and that My fear is not in thee, saith the Lord God of Hosts" (Jer. ii. 19).
The God of our fathers, who hath bestowed on us many benefits, furnished atable for us in the wilderness, and made the deserts and solitary places torejoice. He doth now mercifully call upon us to serve Him more faithfully. Wemay truly say with the Prophet, "It is His voice which crieth to the city, andmen of wisdom see His name. They regard the rod, and Him who hath appointedit." People who look chiefly at things outward, too little consider theoriginal cause of the present troubles; but they who fear the Lord and thinkoften upon His name, see and feel that a wrong spirit is spreading amongst theinhabitants of our country; that the hearts of many are waxed fat, and theirears dull of hearing; that the Most High, in His visitations to us, instead ofcalling, lifteth up His voice and crieth: He crieth to our country, and Hisvoice waxeth louder and louder. In former wars between the English and othernations, since the settlement of our provinces, the calamities attending themhave fallen chiefly on other places, but now of late they have reached to ourborders; many of our fellow-subjects have suffered on and near our frontiers,some have been slain in battle, some killed in their houses, and some in theirfields, some wounded and left in great misery, and others separated from theirwives and little children, who have been carried captives among the Indians.
We have seen men and women who have been witnesses of these scenes ofsorrow, and, being reduced to want, have come to our houses asking relief. Itis not long since many young men in one of these provinces were drafted, inorder to be taken as soldiers; some were at that time in great distress, andhad occasion to consider that their lives had been too little conformable tothe purity and spirituality of that religion which we profess, and foundthemselves too little acquainted with that inward humility, in which truefortitude to endure hardness for the truth's sake is experienced. Many parentswere concerned for their children, and in that time of trial were led toconsider that their care to get outward treasure for them had been greater than their care for their settlement in that religion which crucifieth to the world,and enableth to bear testimony to the peaceable government of the Messiah.
These troubles are removed, and for a time we are released from them.
Let us not forget that "The Most High hath His way in the deep, in clouds,and in thick darkness"; that it is His voice which crieth to the city and tothe country, and oh that these loud and awakening cries may have a propereffect upon us, that heavier chastisement may not become necessary! For thoughthings, as to the outward, may for a short time afford a pleasing prospect,yet, while a selfish spirit, that is not subject to the cross of Christ,continueth to spread and prevail, there can be no long continuance in outwardpeace and tranquillity. If we desire an inheritance incorruptible, and to be atrest in that state of peace and happiness which ever continues; if we desire inthis life to dwell under the favour and protection of that Almighty Being whosehabitation is in holiness, whose ways are all equal, and whose anger is nowkindled because of our backslidings, --let us then awfully regard thesebeginnings of His sore judgments, and with abasement and humiliation turn toHim whom we have offended.
Contending with one equal in strength is an uneasy exercise; but if theLord is become our enemy, if we persist in contending with Him who isomnipotent, our overthrow will be unavoidable.
Do we feel an affectionate regard to posterity? and are we employed topromote their happiness? Do our minds, in things outward, look beyond our owndissolution? and are we contriving for the prosperity of our children after us?
Let us then, like wise builders, lay the foundation deep, and by our constantuniform regard to an inward piety and virtue let them see that we really valueit. Let us labour in the fear of the Lord that their innocent minds, whileyoung and tender, may be preserved from corruptions; that as they advance inage they may rightly understand their true interest, may consider theuncertainty of temporal things, and, above all, have their hope and confidencefirmly settled in the blessing of that Almighty Being who inhabits eternity andpreserves and supports the world.
In all our cares about worldly treasures, let us steadily bear in mind thatriches possessed by children who do not truly serve God, are likely to provesnares that may more grievously entangle them in that spirit of selfishness andexaltation which stands in opposition to real peace and happiness, and rendersthose who submit to the influence of it enemies to the cause of Christ.
To keep a watchful eye towards real objects of charity, to visit the poorin their lonesome dwelling-places, to comfort those who, through thedispensations of divine Providence, are in strait and painful circumstances inthis life, and steadily to endeavour to honour God with our substance, from areal sense of the love of Christ influencing our minds, is more likely to bring a blessing to our children, and will afford more satisfaction to a Christianfavoured with plenty, than an earnest desire to collect much wealth to leavebehind us; for, "here we have no continuing city"; may we therefore diligently"seek one that is to come, whose builder and maker is God.""Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things areof good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on thesethings, and do them, and the God of peace shall be with you."(Signed by appointment, and on behalf of said meeting.)Twenty-eighth of Eleventh Month. -- This day I attended the Quarterly Meetingin Bucks County. In the meeting of ministers and elders my heart was enlargedin the love of Jesus Christ, and the favour of the Most High was extended to usin that and the ensuing meeting.
I had conversation at my lodging with my beloved friend Samuel Eastburn, whoexpressed a concern to join in a visit to some Friends in that county who hadnegroes, and as I had felt a drawing in my mind to the said work, I came homeand put things in order. On the 11th of Twelfth Month I went over the river,and on the next day was at Buckingham Meeting, where, through the descendingsof heavenly dew, my mind was comforted and drawn into a near unity with theflock of Jesus Christ.
Entering upon this business appeared weighty, and before I left home my mindwas often sad, under which exercise I felt at times the Holy Spirit which helpsour infirmities, and through which my prayers were at times put up to God inprivate that He would be pleased to purge me from all selfishness, that I mightbe strengthened to discharge my duty faithfully, how hard soever to the naturalpart. We proceeded on the visit in a weighty frame of spirit, and went to thehouses of the most active members who had negroes throughout the county.
Through the goodness of the Lord my mind was preserved in resignation in timesof trial, and though the work was hard to nature, yet, through the strength ofthat love which is stronger than death, tenderness of heart was often feltamongst us in our visits, and we parted from several families with greatersatisfaction than we expected.
We visited Joseph White's family, he being in England; we had also a familysitting at the house of an elder who bore us company, and were at Makefield ona First-day: at all which times my heart was truly thankful to the Lord who wasgraciously pleased to renew His loving-kindness to us, His poor servants,uniting us together in His work.
In the winter of this year, the smallpox being in our town, and many beinginoculated, of whom a few died, some things were opened in my mind, which Iwrote as follows: -The more fully our lives are conformable to the will of God, the better it isfor us; I have looked on the smallpox as a messenger from the Almighty, to bean assistant in the cause of virtue, and to incite us to consider whether weemploy our time only in such things as are consistent with perfect wisdom andgoodness. Building houses suitable to dwell in, for ourselves and ourcreatures; preparing clothing suitable for the climate and season, and foodconvenient, are all duties incumbent on us. And under these general heads aremany branches of business in which we may venture health and life, as necessitymay require.
This disease being in a house, and my business calling me to go near it,incites me to consider whether this is a real indispensable duty; whether it isnot in conformity to some custom which would be better laid aside, or whetherit does not proceed from too eager a pursuit after some outward treasure. Ifthe business before me springs not from a clear understanding and a regard tothat use of things which perfect wisdom approves, to be brought to a sense ofit and stopped in my pursuit is a kindness, for when I proceed to businesswithout some evidence of duty, I have found by experience that it tends toweakness.
If I am so situated that there appears no probability of missing theinfection, it tends to make me think whether my manner of life in thingsoutward has nothing in it which may unfit my body to receive this messenger ina way the most favourable to me. Do I use food and drink in no other sort andin no other degree than was designed by Him who gave these creatures for oursustenance? Do I never abuse my body by inordinate labour, striving toaccomplish some end which I have unwisely proposed? Do I use action enough insome useful employ, or do I sit too much idle while some persons who labour tosupport me have too great a share of it? If in any of these things I amdeficient, to be incited to consider it is a favour to me. Employment isnecessary in social life, and this infection, which often proves mortal,incites me to think whether these social acts of mine are real duties. If I goon a visit to the widows and fatherless, do I go purely on a principle ofcharity, free from any selfish views? If I go to a religious meeting it puts meon thinking whether I go in sincerity and in a clear sense of duty, or whetherit is not partly in conformity to custom, or partly from a sensible delightwhich my animal spirits feel in the company of other people, and whether tosupport my reputation as a religious man has no share in it.
Do affairs relating to civil society call me near this infection? If I go, itis at the hazard of my health and life, and it becomes me to think seriouslywhether love to truth and righteousness is the motive of my attending; whetherthe mannner of proceeding is altogether equitable, or whether aught ofnarrowness, party interest, respect to outward dignities, names, ordistinctions among men, do not stain the beauty of those assemblies, and render it doubtful; in point of duty, whether a disciple of Christ ought to attend asa member united to the body or not. Whenever there are blemishes which for aseries of time remain such, that which is a means of stirring us up to lookattentively on these blemishes, and to labour according to our capacities tohave health and soundness restored in our country, we may justly account akindness from our gracious Father, who appointed that means.
The care of a wise and good man for his only son is inferior to the regard ofthe great Parent of the universe for His creatures. He hath the command of allthe powers and operations in nature, and "doth not afflict willingly, norgrieve the children of men." Chastisement is intended for instruction, andinstruction being received by gentle chastisement, greater calamities areprevented. By an earthquake hundreds of houses are sometimes shaken down in afew minutes, multitudes of people perish suddenly, and many more, being crushedand bruised in the ruins of the buildings, pine away and die in great misery.
By the breaking in of enraged merciless armies, flourishing countries havebeen laid waste, great numbers of people have perished in a short time, andmany more have been pressed with poverty and grief. By the pestilence, peoplehave died so fast in a city, that, through fear, grief, and confusion, those inhealth have found great difficulty in burying the dead, even without coffins.
By famine, great numbers of people in some places have been brought to theutmost distress, and have pined away from want of the necessaries of life.
Thus, when the kind invitations and gentle chastisements of a gracious God havenot been attended to, his sore judgments have at times been poured out uponpeople.
While some rules approved in civil society and conformable to human policy,so called, are distinguishable from the purity of truth and righteousness, -while many professing the truth are declining from that ardent love andheavenly-mindedness which was amongst the primitive followers of Jesus Christ,it is time for us to attend diligently to the intent of every chastisement, andto consider the most deep and inward design of them.
The Most High doth not often speak with an outward voice to our outward ears,but, if we humbly meditate on His perfections, consider that He is perfectwisdom and goodness, and that to afflict His creatures to no purpose would beutterly averse to His nature, we shall hear and understand His language both inHis gentle and more heavy chastisements, and shall take heed that we do not, inthe wisdom of this world, endeavour to escape His hand by means too powerfulfor us.
Had he endowed men with understanding to prevent this disease (the smallpox)by means which had never proved hurtful nor mortal, such a discovery might beconsidered as the period of chastisement by this distemper, where thatknowledge extended.(1) But as life and health are His gifts, and are not to be disposed of in our own wills, to take upon us by inoculation when in health adisorder of which some die, requires great clearness of knowledge that it isour duty to do so.
Chapter 7
FOURTH Month, 1760. -- Having for some time past felt a sympathy in my mindwith Friends eastward, I opened my concern in our Monthly Meeting, and,obtaining a certificate, set forward on the 17th of this month, in company withmy beloved friend Samuel Eastburn. We had meetings at Woodbridge, Rahway, andPlainfield, and were at their Monthly Meeting of ministers and elders inRahway. We laboured under some discouragement, but through the invisible powerof truth our visit was made reviving to the lowly-minded, with whom I felt anear unity of spirit, being much reduced in my mind. We passed on and visitedmost of the meetings on Long Island. It was my concern from day to day, to sayneither more nor less than what the Spirit of truth opened in me, being jealousover myself lest I should say anything to make my testimony look agreeable tothat mind in people which is not in pure obedience to the cross of Christ.
The spring of the ministry was often low, and through the subjecting power oftruth we were kept low with it; from place to place they whose hearts weretruly concerned for the cause of Christ appeared to be comforted in ourlabours, and though it was in general a time of abasement of the creature, yet,through His goodness who is a helper of the poor, we had some truly edifyingseasons both in meetings and in families where we tarried. Sometimes we foundstrength to labour earnestly with the unfaithful, especially with those whosestation in families or in the Society was such that their example had apowerful tendency to open the way for others to go aside from the purity andsoundness of the blessed truth.
At Jericho, on Long Island, I wrote home as follows: -24th of the Fourth Month, 1760.
DEARLY BELOVED WIFE, -- We are favoured with health; have been at sundrymeetings in East Jersey and on this island. My mind hath been much in aninward, watchful frame since I left thee, greatly desiring that our proceedingsmay be singly in the will of our Heavenly Father.
As the present appearance of things is not joyous, I have been much shut upfrom outward cheerfulness, remembering that promise, "Then shalt thou delightthyself in the Lord"; as this from day to day has been revived in my memory, Ihave considered that His internal presence in our minds is a delight of allothers the most pure, and that the honest-hearted not only delight in this, butin the effect of it upon them. He regards the helpless and distressed, andreveals His love to His children under affliction, who delight in beholding Hisbenevolence, and in feeling divine charity moving in them. Of this I may speaka little, for, though since I left you I have often an engaging love andaffection towards thee and my daughter and friends about home, and going out atthis time, when sickness is so great amongst you, is a trial upon me; yet Ioften remember there are many widows and fatherless, many who have poor tutors,many who have evil examples before them, and many whose minds are in captivity;for whose sake my heart is at times moved with compassion, so that I feel mymind resigned to leave you for a season, to exercise that gift which the Lordhath bestowed on me, which though small compared with some, yet in this Irejoice that I feel love unfeigned towards my fellow-creatures. I recommend youto the Almighty, who, I trust, cares for you, and under a sense of His heavenlylove remain,Thy loving husband, J. W.
We crossed from the east end of Long Island to New London, about thirtymiles, in a large open boat; while we were out, the wind rising high, the wavesseveral times beat over us, so that to me it appeared dangerous, but my mindwas at that time turned to Him who made and governs the deep, and my life wasresigned to Him; as He was mercifully pleased to preserve us, I had freshoccasion to consider every day as a day lent to me, and felt a renewedengagement to devote my time, and all I had, to Him who gave it.
We had five meetings in Narraganset, and went thence to Newport on RhodeIsland. Our gracious Father preserved us in an humble dependence on Him throughdeep exercises that were mortifying to the creaturely will. In several familiesin the country where we lodged, I felt an engagement on my mind to have aconference with them in private, concerning their slaves; and through divineaid I was favoured to give up thereto. Though in this concern I differ frommany whose service in travelling is, I believe, greater than mine, yet I do notthink hardly of them for omitting it; I do not repine at having so unpleasant atask assigned me, but look with awfulness to Him who appoints to His servantstheir respective employments, and is good to all who serve Him sincerely.
We got to Newport in the evening, and on the next day visited two sickpersons, with whom we had comfortable sittings, and in the afternoon attended the burial of a Friend. The next day we were at meetings at Newport, in theforenoon and afternoon; the spring of the ministry was opened, and strength wasgiven to declare the Word of Life to the people.
The day following we went on our journey, but the great number of slaves inthese parts, and the continuance of that trade from thence to Guinea, made adeep impression on me, and my cries were often put up to my Heavenly Father insecret, that He would enable me to discharge my duty faithfully in such way asHe might be pleased to point out to me.
We took Swansea, Freetown, and Taunton in our way to Boston, where also wehad a meeting; our exercise was deep, and the love of truth prevailed, forwhich I bless the Lord. We went eastward about eighty miles beyond Boston,taking meetings, and were in a good degree preserved in an humble dependence onthat arm which drew us out; and though we had some hard labour with thedisobedient, by laying things home and close to such as were stout against thetruth, yet through the goodness of God we had at times to partake of heavenlycomfort with those who were meek, and were often favoured to part with Friendsin the nearness of true gospel fellowship. We returned to Boston and hadanother comfortable opportunity with Friends there, and thence rode back aday's journey eastward of Boston. Our guide being a heavy man, and the weatherhot, my companion and I expressed our freedom to go on without him, to which heconsented, and we respectfully took our leave of him; this we did as believingthe journey would have been hard to him and his horse.
In visiting the meetings in those parts we were measurably baptized into afeeling of the state of the Society, and in bowedness of spirit went to theYearly Meeting at Newport, where we met with John Storer from England,Elizabeth Shipley, Ann Gaunt, Hannah Foster, and Mercy Redman, from our parts,all ministers of the gospel, of whose company I was glad. Understanding that alarge number of slaves had been imported from Africa into that town, and werethen on sale by a member of our Society, my appetite failed, and I grewoutwardly weak, and had a feeling of the condition of Habakkuk, as thusexpressed: "When I heard, my belly trembled, my lips quivered, I trembled inmyself, that I might rest in the day of trouble." I had many cogitations, andwas sorely distressed. I was desirous that Friends might petition theLegislature to use their endeavours to discourage the future importation ofslaves, for I saw that this trade was a great evil, and tended to multiplytroubles, and to bring distresses on the people for whose welfare my heart wasdeeply concerned. But I perceived several difficulties in regard topetitioning, and such was the exercise of my mind that I thought ofendeavouring to get an opportunity to speak a few words in the House ofAssembly then sitting in town.
This exercise came upon me in the afternoon on the second day of the YearlyMeeting, and on going to bed I got no sleep till my mind was wholly resignedthereto. In the morning I inquired of a Friend how long the Assembly was likelyto continue sitting, who told me it was expected to be prorogued that day orthe next. As I was desirous to attend the business of the meeting, andperceived the Assembly was likely to separate before the business was over,after considerable exercise, humbly seeking to the Lord for instruction, mymind settled to attend on the business of the meeting; on the last day of whichI had prepared a short essay of a petition to be presented to the Legislature,if way opened. And being informed that there were some appointed by that YearlyMeeting to speak with those in authority on cases relating to the Society, Iopened my mind to several of them, and showed them the essay I had made, andafterwards I opened the case in the meeting for business, in substance asfollows: -I have been under a concern for some time on account of the great number ofslaves which are imported into this colony. I am aware that it is a tenderpoint to speak to, but apprehend I am not clear in the sight of Heaven withoutdoing so. I have prepared an essay of a petition to be presented to theLegislature, if way open; and what I have to propose to this meeting is thatsome Friends may be named to withdraw and look over it, and report whether theybelieve it suitable to be read in the meeting. If they should think well ofreading it, it will remain for the meeting to consider whether to take anyfurther notice of it, as a meeting, or not.
After a short conference some Friends went out, and, looking over it,expressed their willingness to have it read, which being done, many expressedtheir unity with the proposal, and some signified that to have the subjects ofthe petition enlarged upon, and signed out of meeting by such as were free,would be more suitable than to do it there. Though I expected at first that ifit was done it would be in that way, yet such was the exercise of my mind thatto move it in the hearing of Friends when assembled appeared to me as a duty,for my heart yearned towards the inhabitants of these parts, believing that bythis trade there had been an increase of inquietude amongst them, and way hadbeen made for the spreading of a spirit opposite to that meekness and humilitywhich is a sure resting-place for the soul; and that the continuance of thistrade would not only render their healing more difficult, but would increasetheir malady.
Having proceeded thus far, I felt easy to leave the essay amongst Friends,for them to proceed in it as they believed best. And now an exercise revived inmy mind in relation to lotteries, which were common in those parts. I hadmentioned the subject in a former sitting of this meeting, when arguments were used in favour of Friends being held excused who were only concerned in suchlotteries as were agreeable to law. And now, on moving it again, it was opposedas before; but the hearts of some solid Friends appeared to be united todiscourage the practice amongst their members, and the matter was zealouslyhandled by some on both sides. In this debate it appeared very clear to me thatthe spirit of lotteries was a spirit of selfishness, which tended to confuseand darken the understanding, and that pleading for it in our meetings, whichwere set apart for the Lord's work, was not right. In the heat of zeal, I madereply to what an ancient Friend said, and when I sat down I saw that my wordswere not enough seasoned with charity. After this I spoke no more on thesubject. At length a minute was made, a copy of which was to be sent to theirseveral Quarterly Meetings, inciting Friends to labour to discourage thepractice amongst all professing with us.
Some time after this minute was made I remained uneasy with the manner of myspeaking to the ancient Friend, and could not see my way clear to conceal myuneasiness, though I was concerned that I might say nothing to weaken the causein which I had laboured. After some close exercise and hearty repentence fornot having attended closely to the safe guide, I stood up, and, reciting thepassage, acquainted Friends that though I durst not go from what I had said asto the matter, yet I was uneasy with the manner of my speaking, believingmilder language would have been better. As this was uttered in some degree ofcreaturely abasement after a warm debate, it appeared to have a good savouramongst us.
The Yearly Meeting being now over, there yet remained on my mind a secretthough heavy exercise, in regard to some leading active members about Newport,who were in the practice of keeping slaves. This I mentioned to two ancientFriends who came out of the country, and proposed to them, if way opened, tohave some conversation with those members. One of them and I, having consultedone of the most noted elders who had slaves, he, in a respectful manner,encouraged me to proceed to clear myself of what lay upon me. Near thebeginning of the Yearly Meeting, I had had a private conference with this saidelder and his wife concerning their slaves, so that the way seemed clear to meto advise with him about the manner of proceeding.
I told him I was free to have a conference with them all together in aprivate house; or, if he thought they would take it unkind to be asked to cometogether, and to be spoken with in the hearing of one another, I was free tospend some time amongst them, and to visit them all in their own houses. Heexpressed his liking to the first proposal, not doubting their willingness tocome together; and, as I proposed a visit to only ministers, elders, andoverseers, he named some others whom he desired might also be present. A careful messenger being wanted to acquaint them in a proper manner, he offeredto go to all their houses, to open the matter to them, -- and did so. About theeighth hour the next morning we met in the meeting-house chamber, the last-mentioned country Friend, my companion, and John Storer being with us. After ashort time of retirement, I acquainted them with the steps I had taken inprocuring that meeting, and opened the concern I was under, and we thenproceeded to a free conference upon the subject. My exercise was heavy, and Iwas deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, who was pleased to favour with theseasoning virtue of truth, which wrought a tenderness amongst us; and thesubject was mutually handled in a calm and peaceable spirit. At length, feelingmy mind released from the burden which I had been under, I took my leave ofthem in a good degree of satisfaction; and by the tenderness they manifested inregard to the practice, and the concern several of them expressed in relationto the manner of disposing of their negroes after their decease, I believedthat a good exercise was spreading amongst them: and I am humbly thankful toGod, who supported my mind and preserved me in a good degree of resignationthrough these trials.
Thou who sometimes travellest in the work of the ministry, and art made verywelcome by thy friends, seest many tokens of their satisfaction in having theefor their guest. It is good for thee to dwell deep, that thou mayest feel andunderstand the spirits of people. If we believe truth points towards aconference on some subjects in a private way, it is needful for us to take heedthat their kindness, their freedom and affability, do not hinder us from theLord's work. I have experienced that, in the midst of kindness and smoothconduct, to speak close and home to them who entertain us, on points thatrelate to outward interest, is hard labour. Sometimes, when I have felt truthlead towards it, I have found myself disqualified by a superficial friendship;and as the sense thereof hath abased me and my cries have been to the Lord, soI have been humbled and made content to appear weak, or as a fool for His sake;and thus a door hath been opened to enter upon it. To attempt to do the Lord'swork in our own way, and to speak of that which is the burden of the Word in away easy to the natural part, doth not reach the bottom of the disorder. To seethe failings of our friends, and think hard of them, without opening that whichwe ought to open, and still carry a face of friendship, tends to undermine thefoundation of true unity. The office of a minister of Christ is weighty, andthey who now go forth as watchmen have need to be steadily on their guardagainst the snares of prosperity and an outside friendship.
After the Yearly Meeting we were at meetings at Newtown, Cushnet, Long Plain,Rochester, and Dartmouth. From thence we sailed for Nantucket, in company withAnn Gaunt, Mercy Redman, and several other Friends. The wind being slack weonly reached Tarpawling Cove the first day; where, going on shore, we found room in a public-house, and beds for a few of us, -- the rest slept on thefloor. We went on board again about break of day, and though the wind wassmall, we were favoured to come within about four miles of Nantucket; and thenabout ten of us got into our boat and rowed to the harbour before dark; a largeboat went off and brought in the rest of the passengers about midnight. Thenext day but one was their Yearly Meeting, which held four days, the last ofwhich was their Monthly Meeting for business. We had a labourious time amongstthem; our minds were closely exercised, and I believe it was a time of greatsearching of heart. The longer I was on the island the more I became sensiblethat there was a considerable number of valuable Friends there, though an evilspirit, tending to strife, had been at work amongst them. I was cautious ofmaking any visits except as my mind was particularly drawn to them; and in thatway we had some sittings in Friends' houses, where the heavenly wing was attimes spread over us, to our mutual comfort. My beloved companion had veryacceptable service on this island.
When meeting was over, we all agreed to sail the next day if the weather wassuitable and we were well; and being called up the latter part of the night,about fifty of us went on board a vessel; but, the wind changing, the seamenthought best to stay in the harbour till it altered, so we returned on shore.
Feeling clear as to any further visits, I spent my time in my chamber, chieflyalone; and after some hours, my heart being filled with the spirit ofsupplication, my prayers and tears were poured out before my Heavenly Fatherfor His help and instruction in the manifold difficulties which attended me inlife. While I was waiting upon the Lord, there came a messenger from the womenFriends who lodged at another house, desiring to confer with us aboutappointing a meeting, which to me appeared weighty, as we had been at so manybefore; but after a short conference, and advising with some elderly Friends, ameeting was appointed, in which the Friend who first moved it, and who had beenmuch shut up before, was largely opened in the love of the gospel. The nextmorning about break of day going again on board the vessel, we reached Falmouthon the Main before night, where our horses being brought, we proceeded towardsSandwich Quarterly Meeting.
Being two days in going to Nantucket, and having been there once before, Iobserved many shoals in their bay, which make sailing more dangerous,especially in stormy nights; also, that a great shoal which encloses theirharbour prevents the entrance of sloops except when the tide is up. Waitingwithout for the rising of the tide is sometimes hazardous in storms, and bywaiting within they sometimes miss a fair wind. I took notice that there was onthat small island a great number of inhabitants, and the soil not very fertile,the timber being so gone that for vessels, fences, and firewood, they depend chiefly on buying from the Main, for the cost whereof, with most of their otherexpenses, they depend principally upon the whale fishery.
I considered that as towns grew larger, and lands near navigable waters weremore cleared, it would require more labour to get timber and wood. I understoodthat the whales, being much hunted and sometimes wounded and not killed, growmore shy and difficult to come at. I considered that the formation of theearth, the seas, the islands, bays, and rivers, the motions of the winds andgreat waters, which cause bars and shoals in particular places, were all theworks of Him who is perfect wisdom and goodness; and as people attend to Hisheavenly instruction, and put their trust in Him, He provides for them in allparts where he gives them a being; and as in this visit to these people I felta strong desire for their firm establishment on the sure foundation, besideswhat was said more publicly, I was concerned to speak with the women Friends intheir Monthly Meeting of business, many being present, and in the fresh springof pure love to open before them the advantage, both inwardly and outwardly, ofattending singly to the pure guidance of the Holy Spirit, and therein toeducate their children in true humility and the disuse of all superfluities. Ireminded them of the difficulties their husbands and sons were frequentlyexposed to at sea, and that the more plain and simple their way of living wasthe less need there would be of running great hazards to support them.
I also encouraged the young women to continue their neat, decent way ofattending themselves on the affairs of the house; showing, as the way opened,that where people were truly humble, used themselves to business, and werecontent with a plain way of life, they had ever had more true peace andcalmness of mind than they who, aspiring to greatness and outward show, havegrasped hard for an income to support themselves therein. And as I observedthey had so few or no slaves, I had to encourage them to be content withoutthem, making mention of the numerous troubles and vexations which frequentlyattended the minds of the people who depend on slaves to do their labour.
We attended the Quarterly Meeting at Sandwich, in company with Ann Gaunt andMercy Redman, which was preceded by a Monthly Meeting, and in the whole heldthree days. We were in various ways exercised amongst them, in gospel love,according to the several gifts bestowed on us, and were at times overshadowedwith the virtue of truth, to the comfort of the sincere and stirring up of thenegligent. Here we parted with Ann and Mercy, and went to Rhode Island, takingone meeting in our way, which was a satisfactory time. Reaching Newport theevening before their Quarterly Meeting, we attended it, and after that had ameeting with our young people, separated from those of other societies. We wentthrough much labour in this town; and now, in taking leave of it, though I feltclose inward exercise to the last, I found inward peace, and was in some degree comforted in a belief that a good number remain in that place who retain asense of truth, and that there are some young people attentive to the voice ofthe Heavenly Shepherd. The last meeting, in which Friends from the severalparts of the quarter came together, was a select meeting, and through therenewed manifestation of the Father's love the hearts of the sincere wereunited together.
The poverty of spirit and inward weakness, with which I was much tried thefore part of this journey, has of late appeared to me a dispensation ofkindness. Appointing meetings never appeared more weighty to me, and I was ledinto a deep search whether in all things my mind was resigned to the will ofGod; often querying with myself what should be the cause of such inwardpoverty, and greatly desiring that no secret reserve in my heart might hindermy access to the divine fountain. In these humbling times I was made watchful,and excited to attend to the secret movings of the heavenly principle in mymind, which prepared the way to some duties, that, in more easy and prosperoustimes as to the outward, I believe I should have been in danger of omitting.
From Newport we went to Greenwich, Shanticut, and Warwick, and were helped tolabour amongst Friends in the love of our gracious Redeemer. Afterwards,accompanied by our friend John Casey from Newport, we rode through Connecticutto Oblong, visited the meetings in those parts, and thence proceeded to theQuarterly Meeting at Ryewoods. Through the gracious extendings of divine help,we had some seasoning opportunities in those places. We also visited Friends atNew York and Flushing, and thence to Rahway. Here our roads parting, I tookleave of my beloved companion and true yokemate Samuel Eastburn, and reachedhome the 10th of Eighth Month, where I found my family well. For the favoursand protection of the Lord, both inward and outward, extended to me in thisjourney, my heart is humbled in grateful acknowledgments, and I find reneweddesires to dwell and walk in resignedness before Him.
Chapter 8
HAVING felt my mind drawn towards a visit to a few meetings in Pennsylvania, Iwas very desirous to be rightly instructed as to the time of setting off. Onthe 10th of the Fifth Month, 1761, being the first day of the week, I went toHaddonfield Meeting, concluding to seek for heavenly instruction, and comehome, or go on, as I might then believe best for me, and there through thespringing up of pure love I felt encouragement, and so crossed the river. Inthis visit I was at two Quarterly and three Monthly Meetings, and in the love of truth I felt my way open to labour with some noted Friends who kept negroes.
As I was favoured to keep to the root, and endeavour to discharge what Ibelieved was required of me, I found inward peace therein, from time to time,and thankfulness of heart to the Lord, who was graciously pleased to be a guideto me.
Eighth Month, 1761. -- Having felt drawings in my mind to visit Friends inand about Shrewsbury; I went there, and was at their Monthly Meeting, and theirFirst-day meeting; I had also a meeting at Squan, and another at Squanquam,and, as way opened, had conversation with some noted Friends concerning theirslaves. I returned home in a thankful sense of the goodness of the Lord.
From the concern I felt growing in me for some years, I wrote part the secondof a work entitled "Considerations on keeping Negroes," which was printed thisyear, 1762. When the overseers of the press had done with it, they offered toget a number printed, to be paid for out of the Yearly Meeting's stock, to begiven away; but I being most easy to publish it at my own expense, and offeringmy reasons, they appeared satisfied.
This stock is the contribution of the members of our religious society ingeneral, among whom are some who keep negroes, and, being inclined to continuethem in slavery, are not likely to be satisfied with such books being spreadamong a people, especially at their own expense, many of whose slaves aretaught to read, and such, receiving them as a gift, often conceal them. But asthey who make a purchase generally buy that which they have a mind for, Ibelieved it best to sell them, expecting by that means they would moregenerally be read with attention. Advertisements were signed by order of theoverseers of the press, and directed to be read in the Monthly Meetings ofbusiness within our own Yearly Meeting, informing where the books were, andthat the price was no more than the cost of printing and binding them. Manywere taken off in our parts; some I sent to Virginia, some to New York, some tomy acquaintance at Newport, and some I kept, intending to give part of themaway, where there appeared a prospect of service.
In my youth I was used to hard labour, and though I was middling healthy, yetmy nature was not fitted to endure so much as many others. Being often weary, Iwas prepared to sympathize with those whose circumstances in life, as free men,required constant labour to answer the demands of their creditors, as well aswith others under oppression. In the uneasiness of body which I have many timesfelt by too much labour, not as a forced but a voluntary oppression, I haveoften been excited to think on the original cause of that oppression which isimposed on many in the world. The latter part of the time wherein I laboured onour plantation, my heart, through the fresh visitations of heavenly love, being often tender, and my leisure time being frequently spent in reading the lifeand doctrines of our blessed Redeemer, the account of the sufferings ofmartyrs, and the history of the first rise of our Society, a belief wasgradually settled in my mind, that, if such as had great estates generallylived in that humility and plainness which belong to a Christian life, and laidmuch easier rents and interests on their lands and moneys, and thus led the wayto a right use of things, so great a number of people might be employed inthings useful that labour both for men and other creatures would need to be nomore than an agreeable employ, and divers branches of business, which servechiefly to please the natural inclinations of our minds, and which at presentseem necessary to circulate that wealth which some gather, might, in this wayof pure wisdom, be discontinued. As I have thus considered these things, aquery at times hath arisen: Do I, in all my proceedings, keep to that use ofthings which is agreeable to universal righteousness? And then there hath somedegree of sadness at times come over me, because I accustomed myself to somethings which have occasioned more labour than I believe divine wisdom intendedfor us.
From my early acquaintance with truth I have often felt an inward distress,occasioned by the striving of a spirit in me against the operation of theheavenly principle; and in this state I have been affected with a sense of myown wretchedness, and in a mourning condition have felt earnest longings forthat divine help which brings the soul into true liberty. Sometimes on retiringinto private places, the spirit of supplication hath been given me, and under aheavenly covering I have asked my gracious Father to give me a heart in allthings resigned to the direction of His wisdom; in uttering language like this,the thought of my wearing hats and garments dyed with a dye hurtful to them hasmade lasting impression on me.
In visiting people of note in the Society who had slaves, and labouring withthem in brotherly love on that account, I have seen, and the sight has affectedme, that a conformity to some customs distinguishable from pure wisdom hasentangled many, and that the desire of gain to support these customs hasgreatly opposed the work of truth. Sometimes when the prospect of the workbefore me has been such that in bowedness of spirit I have been drawn intoretired places, and have besought the Lord with tears that He would take mewholly under His direction, and show me the way in which I ought to walk, ithath revived with strength of conviction that if I would be His faithfulservant I must in all things attend to His wisdom, and be teachable, and socease from all customs contrary thereto, however used among religious people.
As He is the perfection of power, of wisdom, and of goodness, so I believe Hehath provided that so much labour shall be necessary for men's support in this world as would, being rightly divided, be a suitable employment of their time;and that we cannot go into superfluities, or grasp after wealth in a waycontrary to His wisdom, without having connection with some degree ofoppression, and with that spirit which leads to self-exaltation and strife, andwhich frequently brings calamities on countries by parties contending abouttheir claims.
Being thus fully convinced, and feeling an increasing desire to live in thespirit of peace, I have often been sorrowfully affected with thinking on theunquiet spirit in which wars are generally carried on, and with the miseries ofmany of my fellow-creatures engaged therein; some suddenly destroyed; somewounded, and after much pain remaining cripples; some deprived of all theiroutward substance and reduced to want; and some carried into captivity.
Thinking often on these things, the use of hats and garments dyed with a dyehurtful to them, and wearing more clothes in summer than are useful, grew moreuneasy to me, believing them to be customs which have not their foundation inpure wisdom. The apprehension of being singular from my beloved friends was astrait upon me, and thus I continued in the use of some things contrary to myjudgment.
On the 31st of Fifth Month, 1761, I was taken ill of a fever, and after ithad continued near a week, I was in great distress of body. One day there was acry raised in me that I might understand the cause of my affliction, andimprove under it, and my conformity to some customs which I believed were notright was brought to my remembrance. In the continuance of this exercise I feltall the powers in me yield themselves up into the hands of Him who gave mebeing, and was made thankful that He had taken hold of me by His chastisements.
Feeling the necessity of further purifying, there was now no desire in me forhealth until the design of my correction was answered. Thus I lay in abasementand brokenness of spirit, and as I felt a sinking down into a calm resignation,so I felt, as in an instant, an inward healing in my nature, and from that timeforward I grew better.
Though my mind was thus settled in relation to hurtful dyes, I felt easy towear my garments heretofore made, and continued to do so about nine months.
Then I thought of getting a hat the natural colour of the fur, but theapprehension of being looked upon as one affecting singularity felt uneasy tome. Here I had occasion to consider that things, though small in themselves,being clearly enjoined by divine authority, become great things to us; and Itrusted that the Lord would support me in the trials that might attendsingularity, so long as singularity was only for His sake. On this account Iwas under close exercise of mind in the time of our General Spring Meeting,1762, greatly desiring to be rightly directed; when, being deeply bowed in spirit before the Lord, I was made willing to submit to what I apprehended wasrequired of me, and when I returned home got a hat of the natural color of thefur.
In attending meetings this singularity was a trial to me, and more especiallyat this time, as white hats were used by some who were fond of following thechangeable modes of dress, and as some Friends who knew not from what motives Iwore it grew shy of me, I felt my way for a time shut up in the exercise of theministry. In this condition, my mind being turned toward my Heavenly Fatherwith fervent cries that I might be preserved to walk before Him in the meeknessof wisdom, my heart was often tender in meetings, and I felt an inwardconsolation which to me was very precious under these difficulties.
I had several dyed garments fit for use which I believed it best to wear tillI had occasion for new ones. Some Friends were apprehensive that my wearingsuch a hat savoured of an affected singularity; those who spoke with me in afriendly way I generally informed, in a few words, that I believed my wearingit was not in my own will. I had at times been sensible that a superficialfriendship had been dangerous to me; and many Friends being now uneasy with me,I had an inclination to acquaint some with the manner of my being led intothese things; yet upon a deeper thought I was for a time most easy to omit it,believing the present dispensation was profitable, and trusting that, if I keptmy place, the Lord in his own time would open the hearts of Friends towards me.
I have since had cause to admire His goodness and loving-kindness in leadingabout and instructing me, and in opening and enlarging my heart in some of ourmeetings.
In the Eleventh Month this year, feeling an engagement of mind to visit somefamilies in Mansfield, I joined my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, and we spenta few days together in that service. In the Second Month, 1763, I joined, incompany with Elizabeth Smith and Mary Noble, in a visit to the families ofFriends at Ancocas. In both these visits, through the baptizing power of truth,the sincere labourers were often comforted, and the hearts of Friends opened toreceive us. In the Fourth Month following, I accompanied some Friends in avisit to the families of Friends in Mount Holly; during this visit my mind wasoften drawn into an inward awfulness, wherein strong desires were raised forthe everlasting welfare of my fellow-creatures, and through the kindness of ourHeavenly Father our hearts were at times enlarged, and Friends were invited inthe flowings of divine love to attend to that which would settle them on thesure foundation.
Having for many years felt love in my heart towards the natives of this landwho dwell far back in the wilderness, whose ancestors were formerly the owners and possessors of the land where we dwell, and who for a small considerationassigned their inheritance to us, and being at Philadelphia in the EighthMonth, 1761, on a visit to some Friends who had slaves, I fell in company withsome of those natives who lived on the east branch of the river Susquehanna, atan Indian town called Wehaloosing, two hundred miles from Philadelphia. Inconversation with them by an interpreter, as also by observations on theircountenances and conduct, I believed some of them were measurably acquaintedwith that divine power which subjects the rough and froward will of thecreature. At times I felt inward drawings towards a visit to that place, whichI mentioned to none except my dear wife until it came to some ripeness.
In the winter of 1762 I laid my prospects before my friends at our Monthlyand Quarterly, and afterwards at our General Spring Meeting; and having theunity of Friends, and being thoughtful about an Indian pilot, there came a manand three women from a little beyond that town to Philadelphia on business.
Being informed thereof by letter, I met them in town in the 5th Month, 1763;and after some conversation, finding they were sober people, I, with theconcurrence of Friends in that place, agreed to join them as companions intheir return, and we appointed to meet at Samuel Foulk's, at Richland, in BucksCounty, on the 7th of Sixth Month. Now, as this visit felt weighty, and wasperformed at a time when travelling appeared perilous, so the dispensations ofdivine Providence in preparing my mind for it have been memorable, and Ibelieve it good for me to give some account thereof.
After I had given up to go, the thoughts of the journey were often attendedwith unusual sadness, at which times my heart was frequently turned to the Lordwith inward breathings for His heavenly support, that I might not fail tofollow Him wheresoever He might lead me. Being at our youth's meeting atChesterfield, about a week before the time I expected to set off, I was thereled to speak on that prayer of our Redeemer to the Father: "I pray not thatThou shouldest take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldest keep themfrom the evil." And in attending to the pure openings of truth, I had tomention what He elsewhere said to His Father: "I know that Thou hearest Me atall times;" so, as some of His followers kept their places, and as His prayerwas granted, it followed necessarily that they were kept from evil: and as someof those met with great hardships and afflictions in this world, and at lastsuffered death by cruel men, so it appears that whatsoever befalls men whilethey live in pure obedience to God certainly works for their good, and may notbe considered an evil as it relates to them. As I spake on this subject myheart was much tendered, and great awfulness came over me.
On the first day of the week, being at our own afternoon meeting, and myheart being enlarged in love, I was led to speak on the care and protection of the Lord over His people, and to make mention of that passage where a band ofSyrians, who were endeavouring to take captive the prophet, were disappointed;and how the Psalmist said, "The angel of the Lord encampeth round about themthat fear Him." Thus, in true love and tenderness, I parted from Friends,expecting the next morning to proceed on my journey. Being weary I went earlyto bed. After I had been asleep a short time, I was awoke by a man calling atmy door, and inviting me to meet some Friends at a public-house in our town,who came from Philadelphia so late that Friends were generally gone to bed.
These Friends informed me that an express had arrived the last morning fromPittsburg, and brought news that the Indians had taken a fort from the Englishwestward, and had slain and scalped some English people near the saidPittsburg, and in divers places.
Some elderly Friends in Philadelphia, knowing the time of my intending to setoff, had conferred together, and thought good to inform me of these thingsbefore I left home, that I might consider them and proceed as I believed best.
Going to bed again, I told not my wife till morning. My heart was turned to theLord for His heavenly instruction; and it was an humbling time to me. When Itold my dear wife, she appeared to be deeply concerned about it; but in a fewhours' time my mind became settled in a belief that it was my duty to proceedon my journey, and she bore it with a good degree of resignation. In thisconflict of spirit there were great searchings of heart and strong cries to theLord, that no motion might in the least degree be attended to but that of thepure spirit of truth.
The subjects before mentioned, on which I had so lately spoken in public,were now fresh before me, and I was brought inwardly to commit myself to theLord, to be disposed of as He saw best. I took leave of my family andneighbours in much bowedness of spirit, and went to our Monthly Meeting atBurlington. After taking leave of Friends there, I crossed the river,accompanied by my friends Israel and John Pemberton; and parting the nextmorning with Israel, John bore me company to Samuel Foulk's, where I met thebefore-mentioned Indians; and we were glad to see each other.
Here my friend Benjamin Parvin met me, and proposed joining me as acompanion, -- we had before exchanged some letters on the subject, -- and now Ihad a sharp trial on his account; for, as the journey appeared perilous, Ithought if he went chiefly to bear me company, and we should be taken captive,my having been the means of drawing him into these difficulties would add to myown afflictions; so I told him my mind freely, and let him know that I wasresigned to go alone; but after all, if he really believed it to be his duty togo on, I believed his company would be very comfortable to me. It was, indeed,a time of deep exercise, and Benjamin appeared to be so fastened to the visit that he could not be easy to leave me; so we went on, accompanied by ourfriends John Pemberton and William Lightfoot of Pikeland.
We lodged at Bethlehem, and there parting with John, William and we wentforward on the 9th of the Sixth Month, and got lodging on the floor of a house,about five miles from Fort Allen. Here we parted with William, and at thisplace we met with an Indian trader lately come from Wyoming. In conversationwith him, I perceived that many white people often sell rum to the Indians,which I believe is a great evil. In the first place, they are thereby deprivedof the use of reason, and, their spirits being violently agitated, quarrelsoften arise which end in mischief, and the bitterness and resentment occasionedhereby are frequently of long continuance. Again, their skins and furs, gottenthrough much fatigue and hard travels in hunting, with which they intended tobuy clothing, they often sell at a low rate for more rum, when they becomeintoxicated; and afterward, when they suffer for want of the necessaries oflife, are angry with those who, for the sake of gain, took advantage of theirweakness.
Their chiefs have often complained of this in their treaties with theEnglish. Where cunning people pass counterfeits and impose on others that whichis good for nothing, it is considered as wickedness; but for the sake of gainto sell that which we know does people harm, and which often works their ruin,manifests a hardened and corrupt heart, and is an evil which demands the careof all true lovers of virtue to suppress. While my mind this evening was thusemployed, I also remembered that the people on the frontiers, among whom thisevil is too common, are often poor; and that they venture to the outside of thecolony in order to live more independently of the wealthy, who often set highrents on their land. I was renewedly confirmed in a belief, that, if all ourinhabitants lived according to sound wisdom, labouring to promote universallove and righteousness, and ceased from every inordinate desire after wealth,and from all customs which are tinctured with luxury, the way would be easy forour inhabitants, though they might be much more numerous than at present, tolive comfortably on honest employments, without the temptation they are sooften under of being drawn into schemes to make settlements on lands which havenot been purchased of the Indians, or of applying to that wicked practice ofselling rum to them.
Tenth of Sixth Month. -- We set out early this morning and crossed thewestern branch of Delaware, called the Great Lehie, near Fort Allen. The waterbeing high, we went over in a canoe. Here we met an Indian, had friendlyconversation with him, and gave him some biscuit; and he, having killed a deer,gave some of it to the Indians with us. After travelling some miles, we metseveral Indian men and women with a cow and horse, and some household goods, who were lately come from their dwelling at Wyoming, and were going to settleat another place. We made them some small presents, and, as some of themunderstood English, I told them my motive for coming into their country, withwhich they appeared satisfied. One of our guides talking awhile with an ancientwoman concerning us, the poor old woman came to my companion and me, and tookher leave of us with an appearance of sincere affection. We pitched our tentnear the banks of the same river, having laboured hard in crossing some ofthose mountains called the Blue Ridge. The roughness of the stones and thecavities between them, with the steepness of the hills, made it appeardangerous. But we were preserved in safety, through the kindness of Him whoseworks in these mountainous deserts appeared awful, and towards whom my heartwas turned during this day's travel.
Near our tent, on the sides of large trees peeled for that purpose, werevarious representations of men going to and returning from the wars, and ofsome being killed in battle. This was a path heretofore used by warriors, andas I walked about viewing those Indian histories, which were painted mostly inred or black, and thinking on the innumerable afflictions which the proud,fierce spirit produceth in the world, also on the toils and fatigues ofwarriors in travelling over mountains and deserts; on their miseries anddistresses when far from home and wounded by their enemies; of their bruisesand great weariness in chasing one another over the rocks and mountains; of therestless, unquiet state of mind of those who live in this spirit, and of thehatred which mutually grows up in the minds of their children, -- the desire tocherish the spirit of love and peace among these people arose very fresh in me.
This was the first night that we lodged in the woods, and being wet withtravelling in the rain, as were also our blankets, the ground, our tent, andthe bushes under which we purposed to lay, all looked discouraging; but Ibelieved that it was the Lord who had thus far brought me forward, and that Hewould dispose of me as He saw good, and so I felt easy. We kindled a fire, withour tent open to it, then laid some bushes next the ground, and put ourblankets upon them for our bed, and, lying down, got some sleep. In themorning, feeling a little unwell, I went into the river; the water was cold,but soon after I felt fresh and well. About eight o'clock we set forward andcrossed a high mountain supposed to be upward of four miles over, the northside being the steepest. About noon we were overtaken by one of the Moravianbrethren going to Wehaloosing, and an Indian man with him who could talkEnglish; and we being together while our horses ate grass had some friendlyconversation; but they, travelling faster than we, soon left us. This Moravian,I understood, has this spring spent some time at Wehaloosing, and was invitedby some of the Indians to come again.
Twelfth of Sixth Month being the first of the week and rainy day, wecontinued in our tent, and I was led to think on the nature of the exercisewhich hath attended me. Love was the first motion, and thence a concern aroseto spend some time with the Indians, that I might feel and understand theirlife and the spirit they live in, if haply I might receive some instructionfrom them, or they might be in any degree helped forward by my following theleadings of truth among them; and as it pleased the Lord to make way for mygoing at a time when the troubles of war were increasing, and when, by reasonof much wet weather, travelling was more difficult than usual at that season, Ilooked upon is as a more favourable opportunity to season my mind, and to bringme into a nearer sympathy with them. As mine eye was to the great Father ofMercies, humbly desiring to learn His will concerning me, I was made quiet andcontent.
Our guide's horse strayed, though hoppled, in the night, and after searchingsome time for him his footsteps were discovered in the path going back,whereupon my kind companion went off in the rain, and after about seven hoursreturned with him. Here we lodged again, tying up our horses before we went tobed, and loosing them to feed about break of day.
Thirteenth of Sixth Month. -- The sun appearing, we set forward, and as Irode over the barren hills my meditations were on the alterations in thecircumstances of the natives of this land since the coming in of the English.
The lands near the sea are conveniently situated for fishing; the lands nearthe rivers, where the tides flow, and some above, are in many places fertileand not mountainous, while the changing of the tides makes passing up and downeasy with any kind of traffic. The natives have in some places, for triflingconsiderations, sold their inheritance so favourably situated, and in otherplaces have been driven back by superior force; their way of clothingthemselves is also altered from what it was, and they being far removed from ushave to pass over mountains, swamps, and barren deserts, so that travelling isvery troublesome in bringing their skins and furs to trade with us. By theextension of English settlements, and partly by the increase of Englishhunters, the wild beasts on which the natives chiefly depend for subsistenceare not so plentiful as they were, and people too often, for the sake of gain,induce them to waste their skins and furs in purchasing a liquor which tends tothe ruin of them and their families.
My own will and desires were now very much broken, and my heart was with muchearnestness turned to the Lord, to whom alone I looked for help in the dangersbefore me. I had a prospect of the English along the coast for upwards of ninehundred miles where I travelled, and their favourable situation and thedifficulties attending the natives as well as the negroes in many places were open before me. A weighty and heavenly care came over my mind, and love filledmy heart towards all mankind, in which I felt a strong engagement that we mightbe obedient to the Lord while in tender mercy He is yet calling to us, and thatwe might so attend to pure universal righteousness as to give no just cause ofoffence to the Gentiles, who do not profess Christianity, whether they be theblacks from Africa, or the native inhabitants of this continent.
Here I was led into a close and labourious inquiry whether I, as anindividual, kept clear from all things which tended to stir up or wereconnected with wars, either in this land or in Africa, my heart was deeplyconcerned that in future I might in all things keep steadily to the pure truth,and live and walk in the plainness and simplicity of a sincere follower ofChrist. In this lonely journey I did greatly bewail the spreading of a wrongspirit, believing that the prosperous, convenient situation of the Englishwould require a constant attention in us to divine love and wisdom, in order totheir being guided and supported in a way answerable to the will of that good,gracious, and Almighty Being, who hath an equal regard to all mankind. And hereluxury and covetousness, with the numerous oppressions and other evilsattending them, appeared very afflicting to me, and I felt in that which isimmutable that the seeds of great calamity and desolation are sown and growingfast on this continent. Nor have I words sufficient to set forth the longing Ithen felt, that we who are placed along the coast, and have tasted the love andgoodness of God, might arise in the strength thereof, and like faithfulmessengers labour to check the growth of these seeds, that they may not ripento the ruin of our posterity.
On reaching the Indian settlement at Wyoming, we were told that an Indianrunner had been at that place a day or two before us, and brought news of theIndians having taken an English fort westward, and destroyed the people, andthat they were endeavouring to take another; also, that another Indian runnercame there about the middle of the previous night from a town about ten milesfrom Wehaloosing, and brought the news that some Indian warriors from distantparts came to that town with two English scalps, and told the people that itwas war with the English.
Our guides took us to the house of a very ancient man. Soon after we had putin our baggage, there came a man from another Indian house some distance off.
Perceiving there was a man near the door I went out; the man had a tomahawkwrapped under his match-coat out of sight. As I approached him he took it inhis hand; I went forward, and, speaking to him in a friendly way, perceived heunderstood some English. My companion joining me, we had some talk with himconcerning the nature of our visit in these parts; he then went into the housewith us, and, talking with our guides, soon appeared friendly, sat down and smoked his pipe. Though taking his hatchet in his hand at the instant I drewnear to him had a disagreeable appearance, I believe he had no other intentthan to be in readiness in case any violence were offered to him.
On hearing the news brought by these Indian runners, and being told by theIndians where we lodged that the Indians about Wyoming expected in a few daysto move to some larger towns, I thought, to all outward appearance, it would bedangerous travelling at this time. After a hard day's journey I was broughtinto a painful exercise at night, in which I had to trace back and view thesteps I had taken from my first moving in the visit; and though I had to bewailsome weakness which at times had attended me, yet I could not find that I hadever given way to wilful disobedience. Believing I had, under a sense of duty,come thus far, I was now earnest in spirit, beseeching the Lord to show me whatI ought to do. In this great distress I grew jealous of myself, lest the desireof reputation as a man firmly settled to persevere through dangers, or the fearof disgrace from my returning without performing the visit, might have someplace in me. Full of these thoughts, I lay great part of the night, while mybeloved companion slept by me, till the Lord, my gracious Father, who saw theconflicts of my soul, was pleased to give quietness. Then I was againstrengthened to commit my life, and all things relating thereto, into Hisheavenly hands, and got a little sleep towards day.
Fourteenth of Sixth Month. -- We sought out and visited all the Indianshereabouts that we could meet with, in number about twenty. They were chieflyin one place, about a mile from where we lodged. I expressed to them the care Ihad on my mind for their good, and told them that true love had made me willingthus to leave my family to come and see the Indians and speak with them intheir houses. Some of them appeared kind and friendly. After taking leave ofthem, we went up the river Susquehanna about three miles, to the house of anIndian called Jacob January. He had killed his hog, and the women were makingstore of bread and preparing to move up the river. Here our pilots had lefttheir canoe when they came down in the spring, and lying dry it had becomeleaky. This detained us some hours, so that we had a good deal of friendlyconversation with the family; and, eating dinner with them, we made them somesmall presents. Then putting our baggage into the canoe, some of them pushedslowly up the stream, and the rest of us rode our horses. We swam them over acreek called Lahawahamunk, and pitched our tent above it in the evening. In asense of God's goodness in helping me in my distress, sustaining me undertrials, and inclining my heart to trust in Him, I lay down in an humble, bowedframe of mind, and had a comfortable night's lodging.
Fifteenth of Sixth Month. -- We proceeded forward till the afternoon, when, astorm appearing, we met our canoe at an appointed place and stayed all night, the rain continuing so heavy that it beat through our tent and wet both us andour baggage. The next day we found abundance of trees blown down by the stormyesterday, and had occasion reverently to consider the kind dealings of theLord who provided a safe place for us in a valley while this storm continued.
We were much hindered by the trees which had fallen across our path, and insome swamps our way was so stopped that we got through with extreme difficulty.
I had this day often to consider myself as a sojourner in this world. A beliefin the all-sufficiency of God to support His people in their pilgrimage feltcomfortable to me, and I was industriously employed to get to a state ofperfect resignation.
We seldom saw our canoe but at appointed places, by reason of the path goingoff from the river. This afternoon, Job Chilaway, an Indian from Wehaloosing,who talks good English and is acquainted with several people in and aboutPhiladelphia, met our people on the river. Understanding where we expected tolodge, he pushed back about six miles, and came to us after night; and in awhile our own canoe arrived, it being hard work pushing up the stream. Job toldus that an Indian came in haste to their town yesterday and told them thatthree warriors from a distance lodged in a town above Wehaloosing a few nightspast, and that these three men were going against the English at Juniata. Jobwas going down the river to the province-store at Shamokin. Though I was so farfavoured with health as to continue travelling, yet, through the variousdifficulties in our journey, and the different way of living from which I hadbeen used to, I grew sick. The news of these warriors being on their march sonear us, and not knowing whether we might not fall in with them, was a freshtrial of my faith; and though, through the strength of divine love, I hadseveral times been enabled to commit myself to the divine disposal, I stillfound the want of a renewal of my strength, that I might be able to perseveretherein; and my cries for help were put up to the Lord, who, in great mercy,gave me a resigned heart, in which I found quietness.
Parting from Job Chilaway on the 17th, we went on and reached Wehaloosingabout the middle of the afternoon. The first Indian that we saw was a woman ofa modest countenance, with a Bible, who spake first to our guide, and then withan harmonious voice expressed her gladness at seeing us, having before heard ofour coming. By the direction of our guide we sat down on a log, while he wentto the town to tell the people we were come. My companion and I, sitting thustogether in a deep inward stillness, the poor woman came and sat near us; and,great awfulness coming over us, we rejoiced in a sense of God's love manifestedto our poor souls. After a while we heard a conch-shell blow several times, andthen came John Curtis and another Indian man, who kindly invited us into ahouse near the town, where we found about sixty people sitting in silence.
After sitting with them a short time I stood up, and in some tenderness of spirit acquainted them, in a few short sentences, with the nature of my visit,and that a concern for their good had made me willing to come thus far to seethem; which, some of them understanding, interpreted to the others, and thereappeared gladness among them. I then showed them my certificate, which wasexplained to them; and the Moravian who overtook us on the way, being now here,bade me welcome.
But the Indians knowing that this Moravian and I were of different religioussocieties, and as some of their people had encouraged him to come and stayawhile with them, they were, I believe, concerned that there might be nojarring or discord in their meetings; and having, I suppose, conferredtogether, they acquainted me that the people, at my request, would at any timecome together and hold meetings. They also told me that they expected theMoravian would speak in their settled meetings, which are commonly held in themorning and near evening. So finding liberty in my heart to speak to theMoravian, I told him of the care I felt on my mind for the good of thesepeople, and my belief that no ill effects would follow if I sometimes spake intheir meetings when love engaged me thereto, without calling them together attimes when they did not meet of course. He expressed his good-will towards myspeaking at any time all that I found in my heart to say.
On the evening of the 18th I was at their meeting, where pure gospel love wasfelt, to the tendering of some of our hearts. The interpreters endeavoured toacquaint the people with what I said, in short sentences, but found somedifficulty, as none of them were quite perfect in the English and Delawaretongues, so they helped one another, and we laboured along, divine loveattending. Afterwards, feeling my mind covered with the spirit of prayer, Itold the interpreters that I found it in my heart to pray to God, and believed,if I prayed aright He would hear me; and I expressed my willingness for them toomit interpreting; so our meeting ended with a degree of divine love. Beforethe people went out, I observed Papunehang (the man who had been zealous inlabouring for a reformation in that town, being then very tender) speaking toone of the interpreters, and I was afterwards told that he said in substance asfollows: -- "I love to feel where words come from."Nineteenth of Sixth Month and first of the week. -- This morning the Indianwho came with the Moravian, being also a member of that society, prayed in themeeting, and then the Moravian spake a short time to the people. In theafternoon, my heart being filled with a heavenly care for their good, I spaketo them awhile by interpreters; but none of them being perfect in the work, andI feeling the current of love run strong, told the interpreters that I believedsome of the people would understand me, and so I proceeded without them; and Ibelieve the Holy Ghost wrought on some hearts to edification where all the words were not understood. I looked upon it as a time of divine favour, and myheart was tendered and truly thankful before the Lord. After I sat down, one ofthe interpreters seemed spirited to give the Indians the substance of what Isaid.
Before our first meeting this morning, I was led to meditate on the manifolddifficulties of these Indians who, by the permission of the Six Nations, dwellin these parts. A near sympathy with them was raised in me, and, my heart beingenlarged in the love of Christ, I thought that the affectionate care of a goodman for his only brother in affliction does not exceed what I then felt forthat people. I came to this place through much trouble; and though through themercies of God I believed that if I died in the journey it would be well withme, yet the thoughts of falling into the hands of Indian warriors were, intimes of weakness, afflicting to me; and being of a tender constitution ofbody, the thoughts of captivity among them were also grievous; supposing thatas they were strong and hardy they might demand service of me beyond what Icould well bear. But the Lord alone was my keeper, and I believed that if Iwent into captivity it would be for some good end. Thus, from time to time, mymind was centred in resignation, in which I always found quietness. And thisday, though I had the same dangerous wilderness between me and home, I wasinwardly joyful that the Lord had strengthened me to come on this visit, andhad manifested a fatherly care over me in my poor lowly condition, when in mineown eyes I appeared inferior to many among the Indians.
When the last-mentioned meeting was ended, it being night, Papunehang went tobed; and hearing him speak with an harmonious voice, I suppose for a minute ortwo, I asked the interpreter, who told me that he was expressing histhankfulness to God for the favours he had received that day, and prayed thatHe would continue to favour him with the same, which he had experienced in thatmeeting. Though Papunehang had before agreed to receive the Moravian and joinwith them, he still appeared kind and loving to us.
I was at two meetings on the 20th, and silent in them. The following morning,in meeting, my heart was enlarged in pure love among them, and in short plainsentences I expressed several things that rested upon me, which one of theinterpreters gave the people pretty readily. The meeting ended in supplication,and I had cause humbly to acknowledge the loving-kindness of the Lord towardsus; and then I believed that a door remained open for the faithful disciples ofJesus Christ to labour among these people. And now, feeling my mind at libertyto return, I took my leave of them in general at the conclusion of what I saidin meeting, and we then prepared to go homeward. But some of their most activemen told us that, when we were ready to move the people would choose to comeand shake hands with us. Those who usually came to meeting did so; and from a secret draught in my mind I went among some who did not usually go to meeting,and took my leave of them also. The Moravian and his Indian interpreterappeared respectful to us at parting. This town, Wehaloosing, stands on thebank of the Susquehanna, and consists, I believe, of about forty houses, mostlycompact together, some about thirty feet long and eighteen wide -- some bigger,some less. They are built mostly of split plank, one end being set in theground, and the other pinned to a plate on which rafters are laid, and thencovered with bark. I understand a great flood last winter overflowed thegreater part of the ground where the town stands, and some were now aboutmoving their houses to higher ground.
We expected only two Indians to be of our company, but when we were ready togo we found many of them were going to Bethlehem with skins and furs, and choseto go in company with us. So they loaded two canoes, in which they desired usto go, telling us that the waters were so raised with the rains that the horsesshould be taken by such as were better acquainted with the fording-places. We,therefore, with several Indians, went in the canoes, and others went on horses,there being seven besides ours. We met with the horsemen once on the way byappointment, and at night we lodged a little below a branch called Tankhannah,and some of the young men, going out a little before dusk with their guns,brought in a deer.
Through diligence we reached Wyoming before night, the 22d, and understoodthat the Indians were mostly gone from this place. We went up a small creekinto the woods with our canoes, and, pitching our tent, carried out ourbaggage, and before dark our horses came to us. Next morning, the horses beingloaded and our baggage prepared, we set forward, being in all fourteen, andwith diligent travelling were favoured to get near half-way to Fort Allen. Theland on this road from Wyoming to our frontier being mostly poor, and goodgrass being scarce, the Indians chose a piece of low ground to lodge on, as thebest for grazing. I had sweat much in travelling, and, being weary, sleptsoundly. In the night I perceived that I had taken cold, of which I wasfavoured soon to get better.
Twenty-fourth of Sixth Month. -- This day we passed Fort Allen and lodgednear it in the woods. We forded the westerly branch of the Delaware threetimes, which was a shorter way than going over the top of the Blue Mountainscalled the Second Ridge. In the second time of fording where the river cutsthrough the mountain, the waters being rapid and pretty deep, my companion'smare, being a tall, tractable animal, was sundry times driven back through theriver, being laden with the burdens of some small horses which were thoughtunable to come through with their loads. The troubles eastward, and thedifficulty for Indians to pass through our frontier, I apprehend, were one reason why so many came, expecting that our being in company would prevent theoutside inhabitants being surprised. We reached Bethlehem on the 25th, takingcare to keep foremost, and to acquaint people on and near the road who theseIndians were. This we found very needful, for the frontier inhabitants wereoften alarmed at the report of the English being killed by Indians westward.
Among our company were some whom I did not remember to have seen at meeting,and some of these at first were very reserved; but we being several daystogether, and behaving in a friendly manner towards them, and making themsuitable return for the services they did us, they became more free andsociable.
Twenty-sixth of Sixth Month. -- Having carefully endeavoured to settle allaffairs with the Indians relative to our journey, we took leave of them, and Ithought they generally parted from us affectionately. We went forward toRichland and had a very comfortable meeting among our friends, it being thefirst day of the week. Here I parted with my kind friend and companion BenjaminParvin, and accompanied by my friend Samuel Foulk, we rode to JohnCadwallader's, from whence I reached home the next day, and found my familytolerably well. They and my friends appeared glad to see me return from ajourney which they apprehended would be dangerous; but my mind, while I wasout, had been so employed in striving for perfect resignation, and had so oftenbeen confirmed in a belief that, whatever the Lord might be pleased to allotfor me, it would work for good, that I was careful lest I should admit anydegree of selfishness in being glad overmuch, and laboured to improve by thosetrials in such a manner as my gracious Father and Protector designed.
Between the English settlements and Wehaloosing we had only a narrow path,which in many places is much grown up with bushes, and interrupted by abundanceof trees lying across it. These, together with the mountain swamps and roughstones, make it a difficult road to travel, and the more so becauserattlesnakes abound here, of which we killed four. People who have never beenin such places have but an imperfect idea of them; and I was not only taughtpatience, but also made thankful to God, who thus led about and instructed me,that I might have a quick and lively feeling of the afflictions of my fellow-creatures, whose situation in life is difficult.
Chapter 9
THE latter part of the summer, 1763, there came a man to Mount Holly who hadpreviously published a printed advertisement that at a certain public-house he would show many wonderful operations, which were therein enumerated. At theappointed time he did, by sleight of hand, perform sundry things which appearedstrange to the spectators. Understanding that the show was to be repeated thenext night, and that the people were to meet about sunset, I felt an exerciseon that account. So I went to the public-house in the evening, and told the manof the house that I had an inclination to spend a part of the evening there;with which he signified that he was content. Then, sitting down by the door, Ispoke to the people in the fear of the Lord, as they came together, concerningthis show, and laboured to convince them that their thus assembling to seethese sleight-of-hand tricks, and bestowing their money to support men who, inthat capacity, were of no use to the world, was contrary to the nature of theChristian religion. One of the company endeavoured to show by arguments thereasonableness of their proceedings herein; but after considering some texts ofScripture and calmly debating the matter he gave up the point. After spendingabout an hour among them, and feeling my mind easy, I departed.
Twenty-fifth of Ninth Month, 1764. -- At our Yearly Meeting at Philadelphiathis day, John Smith, of Marlborough, aged upwards of eighty years, a faithfulminister, though not eloquent, stood up in our meeting of ministers and elders,and appearing to be under a great exercise of spirit, informed Friends insubstance as follows: "That he had been a member of our Society upwards ofsixty years, and he well remembered that, in those early times, Friends were aplain, lowly-minded people, and that there was much tenderness and contritionin their meetings. That, at twenty years from that time, the Society increasingin wealth and in some degree conforming to the fashions of the world, truehumility was less apparent, and their meetings in general were not so livelyand edifying. That at the end of forty years many of them were grown very rich,and many of the Society made a specious appearance in the world; that wearingfine costly garments, and using silver and other watches, became customary withthem, their sons, and their daughters.
"These marks of outward wealth and greatness appeared on some in our meetingsof ministers and elders; and, as such things became more prevalent, so thepowerful overshadowings of the Holy Ghost were less manifest in the Society.
That there had been a continued increase of such ways of life, even until thepresent time; and that the weakness which hath now overspread the Society andthe barrenness manifest among us is matter of much sorrow." He then mentionedthe uncertainty of his attending these meetings in future, expecting hisdissolution was near; and, having tenderly expressed his concern for us,signified that he had seen in the true light that the Lord would bring back Hispeople from these things, into which they were thus degenerated, but that Hisfaithful servants must go through great and heavy exercises.
Twentieth of Ninth Month. -- The committee appointed by the Yearly Meeting tovisit the Quarterly and Monthly Meetings gave an account in writing of theirproceedings in that service. They signified that, in the course of the visit,they had been apprehensive that some persons holding offices in governmentinconsistent with our principles, and others who kept slaves, remaining activemembers in our meetings for discipline, had been one means of weaknessprevailing in some places. After this report was read, an exercise revived inmy mind which had attended me for several years, and inward cries to the Lordwere raised in me that the fear of man might not prevent me from doing what Herequired of me, and, standing up, I spoke in substance as follows:
"I have felt a tenderness in my mind towards persons in two circumstancesmentioned in that report; namely, towards such active members as keep slavesand such as hold offices in civil government; and I have desired that Friends,in all their conduct, may be kindly affectioned one towards another. ManyFriends who keep slaves are under some exercise on that account; and at timesthink about trying them with freedom, but find many things in their way. Theway of living and the annual expenses of some of them are such that it seemsimpracticable for them to set their slaves free without changing their own wayof life. It has been my lot to be often abroad; and I have observed in someplaces, at Quarterly and Yearly Meetings, and at some houses where travellingFriends and their horses are often entertained, that the yearly expense ofindividuals therein is very considerable. And Friends in some places crowdingmuch on persons in these circumstances for entertainment hath rested as aburden on my mind for some years past. I now express it in the fear of theLord, greatly desiring that Friends here present may duly consider it."In the fall of this year, having hired a man to work, I perceived inconversation with him that he had been a soldier in the late war on thiscontinent; and he informed me in the evening, in a narrative of his captivityamong the Indians, that he saw two of his fellow-captives tortured to death ina very cruel manner. This relation affected me with sadness, under which I wentto bed; and the next morning, soon after I awoke, a fresh and living sense ofdivine love overspread my mind, in which I had a renewed prospect of the natureof that wisdom from above which leads to a right use of all gifts, bothspiritual and temporal, and gives content therein. Under a feeling thereof, Iwrote as follows: -"Hath He who gave me a being attended with many wants unknown to brutecreatures given me a capacity superior to theirs, and shown me that a moderateapplication to business is suitable to my present condition; and that this,attended with His blessing, may supply all my outward wants while they remainwithin the bounds He hath fixed, and while no imaginary wants proceeding from an evil spirit have any place in me? Attend then, O my soul! to this purewisdom as thy sure conductor through the manifold dangers of this world.
"Doth pride lead to vanity? Doth vanity form imaginary wants? Do these wantsprompt men to exert their power in requiring more from others than they wouldbe willing to perform themselves, were the same required of them? Do theseproceedings beget hard thoughts? Do hard thoughts, when ripe, become malice?
Does malice, when ripe, become revengeful, and in the end inflict terriblepains on our fellow-creatures and spread desolations in the world?
"Do mankind, walking in uprightness, delight in each other's happiness? Anddo those who are capable of this attainment, by giving way to an evil spirit,employ their skill and strength to inflict and destroy one another? Rememberthen, O my soul, the quietude of those in whom Christ governs, and in all thyproceedings feel after it.
"Doth He condescend to bless thee with His presence? To move and influencethee to action? To dwell and to walk in thee? Remember then thy station asbeing sacred to God. Accept of the strength freely offered to thee, and takeheed that no weakness in conforming to unwise, expensive, and hard-heartedcustoms, gendering to discord and strife, be given way to. Doth He claim mybody as His temple, and graciously require that I may be sacred to Him? Oh thatI may prize this favour, and that my whole life may be conformable to thischaracter! Remember, O my soul! that the Prince of Peace is thy Lord; that Hecommunicates His unmixed wisdom to His family, that they, living in perfectsimplicity, may give no just cause of offence to any creature, but that theymay walk as He walked!"Having felt an openness in my heart towards visiting families in our ownmeeting, and especially in the town of Mount Holly, the place of my abode, Imentioned it at our Monthly Meeting in the fore part of the winter of 1764,which being agreed to, and several Friends of our meeting being united in theexercise, we proceeded therein; and through divine favour we were helped in thework, so that it appeared to me as a fresh reviving of godly care amongFriends. The latter part of the same winter I joined my friend William Jones ina visit to Friends' families in Mansfield, in which labour I had cause toadmire the goodness of the Lord toward us.
My mind being drawn towards Friends along the seacoast from Cape May to nearSquan, and also to visit some people in those parts, among whom there is nosettled worship, I joined with my beloved friend Benjamin Jones in a visit tothem, having Friends' unity therein. We set off the 24th of Tenth Month, 1765,and had a prosperous and very satisfactory journey, feeling at times, through the goodness of the Heavenly Shepherd, the gospel to flow freely towards a poorpeople scattered in these places. Soon after our return I joined my friendsJohn Sleeper and Elizabeth Smith in a visit to Friends' families at Burlington,there being at this time about fifty families of our Society in that city; andwe had cause humbly to adore our Heavenly Father, who baptized us into afeeling of the state of the people, and strengthened us to labour in truegospel love among them.
Having had a concern at times for several years to pay a religious visit toFriends on the eastern shore of Maryland, and to travel on foot among them,that by so travelling I might have a more lively feeling of the condition ofthe oppressed slaves, set an example of lowliness before the eyes of theirmasters, and be more out of the way of temptation to unprofitable converse; andthe time drawing near in which I believed it my duty to lay my concern beforeour Monthly Meeting, I perceived, in conversation with my beloved friend JohnSleeper, that he also was under similar concern to travel on foot in the formof a servant among them, as he expressed it. This he told me before he knewaught of my exercise. Being thus drawn the same way, we laid our exercise andthe nature of it before Friends; and, obtaining certificates, we set off the6th of Fifth Month, 1766, and were at meetings with Friends at Wilmington, DuckCreek, Little Creek, and Motherkill. My heart was often tendered under thedivine influence, and enlarged in love towards the people among whom wetravelled.
From Motherkill we crossed the country about thirty-five miles to Tuckahoe,in Maryland, and had a meeting there, and also at Marshy Creek. At the lastthree meetings there were a considerable number of the followers of one JosephNichols, a preacher, who, I understand, is not in outward fellowship with anyreligious society, but professeth nearly the same principles as those of ourSociety, and often travels up and down, appointing meetings which many peopleattend. I heard of some who had been irreligious people that were now hisfollowers, and were become sober, well-behaved men and women. Someirregularities, I hear, have been among the people at several of his meetings;but from what I have perceived I believe the man and some of his followers arehonestly disposed, but that skilful fathers are wanting among them.
We then went to Choptank and Third Haven, and thence to Queen Anne's. Theweather for some days past having been hot and dry, and we having travelledpretty steadily and having hard labour in meetings, I grew weakly, at which Iwas for a time discouraged; but looking over our journey and considering howthe Lord had supported our minds and bodies, so that we had gone forward muchfaster than I expected before we came out, I saw that I had been in danger oftoo strongly desiring to get quickly through the journey, and that the bodily weakness now attending me was a kindness; and then in contrition of spirit, Ibecame very thankful to my gracious Father for this manifestation of His love,and in humble submission to His will my trust in Him was renewed.
In this part of our journey I had many thoughts on the differentcircumstances of Friends who inhabit Pennsylvania and Jersey from those whodwell in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina. Pennsylvania and New Jersey weresettled by Friends who were convinced of our principles in England in times ofsuffering; these, coming over, bought lands of the natives, and applied tohusbandry in a peaceable way, and many of their children were taught to labourfor their living. Few of these, I believe, settled in any of the southernprovinces; but by the faithful labours of travelling Friends in early timesthere was considerable convincement among the inhabitants of these parts. Ialso remembered having read of the warlike disposition of many of the firstsettlers in those provinces, and of their numerous engagements with the nativesin which much blood was shed even in the infancy of the colonies. Some of thepeople inhabiting those places, being grounded in customs contrary to the puretruth, were affected with the powerful preaching of the Word of Life and joinedin fellowship with our Society, and in so doing they had a great work to gothrough.
In the history of the reformation from Popery it is observable that theprogress was gradual from age to age. The uprightness of the first reformers inattending to the light and understanding given to them opened the way forsincere-hearted people to proceed further afterwards; and thus each one trulyfearing God and labouring in the works of righteousness appointed for him inhis day findeth acceptance with Him. Through the darkness of the times and thecorruption of manners and customs, some upright men may have had little morefor their day's work than to attend to the righteous principle in their mindsas it related to their own conduct in life without pointing out to others thewhole extent of that into which the same principle would lead succeeding ages.
Thus, for instance, among an imperious warlike people, supported by oppressedslaves, some of these masters, I suppose, are awakened to feel and to see theirerror, and through sincere repentance cease from oppression and become likefathers to their servants, showing by their example a pattern of humility inliving, and moderation in governing, for the instruction and admonition oftheir oppressing neighbours; these, without carrying the reformation further,have, I believe, found acceptance with the Lord. Such was the beginning; andthose who succeeded them, and who faithfully attended to the nature and spiritof the reformation, have seen the necessity of proceeding forward, and have notonly to instruct others by their own example in governing well, but have alsoto use means to prevent their successors from having so much power to oppressothers.
Here I was renewedly confirmed in my mind that the Lord (whose tender merciesare over all His works, and whose ear is open to the cries and groans of theoppressed) is graciously moving in the hearts of people to draw them off fromthe desire of wealth and to bring them into such an humble lowly way of livingthat they may see their way clearly to repair to the standard of truerighteousness, and may not only break the yoke of oppression, but may know Himto be their strength and support in times of outward affliction.
We crossed Chester River, had a meeting there, and also at Cecil andSassafras. My bodily weakness, joined with a heavy exercise of mind, was to mean humbling dispensation, and I had a very lively feeling of the state of theoppressed; yet I often thought that what I suffered was little compared withthe sufferings of the blessed Jesus and many of His faithful followers; and Imay say with thankfulness that I was made content. From Sassafras we wentpretty directly home, where we found our families well. For several weeks afterour return I had often to look over our journey; and though to me it appearedas a small service, and that some faithful messengers will yet have more bittercups to drink in those southern provinces for Christ's sake than we have had,yet I found peace in that I had been helped to walk in sincerity according tothe understanding and strength given to me.
Thirteenth of Eleventh Month. -- With the unity of Friends at our monthlymeeting, and in company with my beloved friend Benjamin Jones, I set out on avisit to Friends in the upper part of this province, having had drawings oflove in my heart that way for a considerable time. We travelled as far asHardwick, and I had inward peace in my labours of love among them. Through thehumbling dispensations of divine Providence my mind hath been further broughtinto a feeling of the difficulties of Friends and their servants southwestward;and being often engaged in spirit on their account, I believed it my duty towalk into some parts of the western shore of Maryland on a religious visit.
Having obtained a certificate from Friends of our Monthly Meeting, I took leaveof my family under the heart-tendering operation of truth, and on the 20th ofFourth Month, 1767, rode to the ferry opposite to Philadelphia, and thencewalked to William Horne's, at Derby, the same evening. Next day I pursued myjourney alone and reached Concord Week-Day Meeting.
Discouragements and a weight of distress had at times attended me in thislonesome walk, but through these afflictions I was mercifully preserved.
Sitting down with Friends, my mind was turned towards the Lord to wait for hisholy leadings; and in infinite love He was pleased to soften my heart intohumble contrition, and renewedly to strengthen me to go forward, so that to meit was a time of heavenly refreshment in a silent meeting. The next day I cameto New Garden Week-Day Meeting, in which I sat in bowedness of spirit, and being baptized into a feeling of the state of some present, the Lord gave us aheart-tendering season; to His name be the praise. Passing on, I was atNottingham Monthly Meeting, and at a meeting at Little Britain on First-Day; inthe afternoon several Friends came to the house where I lodged and we had alittle afternoon meeting, and through the humbling power of truth I had toadmire the loving-kindness of the Lord manifested to us.
Twenty-sixth of Fourth Month. -- I crossed the Susquehanna, and coming amongpeople in outward ease and greatness, supported chiefly on the labour ofslaves, my heart was much affected, and in awful retiredness my mind wasgathered inward to the Lord, humbly desiring that in true resignation I mightreceive instruction from him respecting my duty among this people. Thoughtravelling on foot was wearisome to my body, yet it was agreeable to the stateof my mind. Being weakly, I was covered with sorrow and heaviness on account ofthe prevailing spirit of this world by which customs grievous and oppressiveare introduced on the one hand, and pride and wantonness on the other.
In this lonely walk and state of abasement and humiliation, the condition ofthe Church in these parts was opened before me, and I may truly say with theProphet, "I was bowed down with the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeingof it." Under this exercise I attended the Quarterly Meeting at Gunpowder, andin bowedness of spirit I had to express with much plainness my feelingsrespecting Friends living in fulness on the labours of the poor oppressednegroes; and that promise of the Most High was now revived, "I will gather allnations and tongues, and they shall come and see My glory." Here the sufferingsof Christ and His tasting death for every man, and the travels, sufferings, andmartyrdom of the Apostles and primitive Christians in labouring for theconversion of the Gentiles, were livingly revived in me, and according to themeasure of strength afforded I laboured in some tenderness of spirit, beingdeeply affected among them. The difference between the present treatment whichthese Gentiles, the negroes, receive at our hands, and the labours of theprimitive Christians for the conversion of the Gentiles, were pressed home, andthe power of truth came over us, under a feeling of which my mind was united toa tender-hearted people in these parts. The meeting concluded in a sense ofGod's goodness towards His humble, dependent children.
The next day was a general meeting for worship, much crowded, in which I wasdeeply engaged in inward cries to the Lord for help, that I might stand whollyresigned, and move only as He might be pleased to lead me. I was mercifullyhelped to labour honestly and fervently among them, in which I found inwardpeace, and the sincere were comforted. From this place I turned towards PipeCreek and the Red Lands, and had several meetings among Friends in those parts.
My heart was often tenderly affected under a sense of the Lord's goodness in sanctifying my troubles and exercises, turning them to my comfort, and Ibelieve to the benefit of many others, for I may say with thankfulness that inthis visit it appeared like a tendering visitation in most places.
I passed on to the Western Quarterly Meeting in Pennsylvania. During theseveral days of this meeting I was mercifully preserved in an inward feelingafter the mind of truth, and my public labours tended to my humiliation, withwhich I was content. After the Quarterly Meeting for worship ended, I feltdrawings to go to the women's meeting for business, which was very full; herethe humility of Jesus Christ as a pattern for us to walk by was livingly openedbefore me, and in treating on it my heart was enlarged, and it was a baptizingtime. I was afterwards at meetings at Concord, Middletown, Providence, andHaddonfield, whence I returned home and found my family well. A sense of theLord's merciful preservation in this my journey excites reverent thankfulnessto Him.
Second of Ninth Month, 1767. -- With the unity of Friends, I set off on avisit to Friends in the upper part of Berks and Philadelphia counties; was ateleven meetings in about two weeks, and have renewed cause to bow in reverencebefore the Lord, who, by the powerful extendings of His humbling goodness,opened my way among Friends, and I trust made the meetings profitable to us.
The following winter I joined some Friends in a family visit to some part ofour meeting, in which exercise the pure influence of divine love made ourvisits reviving.
Fifth of Fifth Month, 1768. -- I left home under the humbling hand of theLord, with a certificate to visit some meetings in Maryland, and to proceedwithout a horse seemed clearest to me. I was at the Quarterly Meetings atPhiladelphia and Concord, whence I proceeded to Chester River, and, crossingthe bay, was at the Yearly Meeting at West River; I then returned to ChesterRiver, and, taking a few meetings in my way, proceeded home. It was a journeyof much inward waiting, and as my eye was to the Lord, way was several timesopened to my humbling admiration when things appeared very difficult. On myreturn I felt a very comfortable relief of mind, having through divine helplaboured in much plainness, both with Friends selected and in the more publicmeetings, so that I trust the pure witness in many minds was reached.
Eleventh of Sixth Month, 1769. -- There have been sundry cases of late yearswithin the limits of our Monthly Meeting, respecting the exercising of purerighteousness towards the negroes, in which I have lived under a labour ofheart that equity might be steadily preserved. On this account I have had someclose exercises among Friends, in which, I may thankfully say, I find peace.
And as my meditations have been on universal love, my own conduct in time past became of late very grievous to me. As persons setting negroes free in ourprovince are bound by law to maintain them in case they have need of relief,some in the time of my youth who scrupled to keep slaves for term of life werewont to detain their young negroes in their service without wages till theywere thirty years of age. With this custom I so far agreed that being joinedwith another Friend in executing the will of a deceased Friend, I once sold anegro lad till he might attain the age of thirty years, and applied the moneyto the use of the estate.
With abasement of heart, I may now say that sometimes, as I have sat in ameeting with my heart exercised towards that awful Being who respecteth notpersons nor colours, and have thought upon this lad, I have felt that all wasnot clear in my mind respecting him; and as I have attended to this exerciseand fervently sought the Lord, it hath appeared to me that I should make somerestitution; but in what way I saw not till lately, when being under someconcern that I might be resigned to go on a visit to some part of the WestIndies, and under close engagement of spirit seeking to the Lord for counselherein, the aforesaid transaction came heavily upon me, and my mind for a timewas covered with darkness and sorrow. Under this sore affliction my heart wassoftened to receive instruction, and I now first perceived that, as I had beenone of the two executors who had sold this lad for nine years longer than iscommon for our own children to serve, so I should now offer part of mysubstance to redeem the last half of the nine years; but as the time was notyet come, I executed a bond, binding myself and my executors to pay to the manto whom he was sold, what to candid men might appear equitable for the lastfour and a half years of his time, in case the said youth should be living, andin a condition likely to provide comfortably for himself.
Ninth of Tenth Month. -- My heart hath often been deeply afflicted under afeeling that the standard of pure righteousness is not lifted up to the peopleby us, as a Society, in that clearness which it might have been, had we been asfaithful as we ought to be to the teachings of Christ. And as my mind hath beeninward to the Lord, the purity of Christ's government hath been made clear tomy understanding, and I have believed, in the opening of universal love, thatwhere a people who are convinced of the truth of the inward teachings ofChrist, are active in putting laws in execution which are not consistent withpure wisdom, it hath a necessary tendency to bring dimness over their minds. Myheart having been thus exercised for several years with a tender sympathytowards my fellow-members, I have within a few months past expressed my concernon this subject in several meetings for discipline.
Chapter 10
TWELFTH of Third Month, 1769. -- Having for some years past dieted myself onaccount of illness and weakness of body, and not having ability to travel byland as heretofore, I was at times favoured to look with awfulness towards theLord, before whom are all my ways, who alone hath the power of life and death,and to feel thankfulness raised in me for this His fatherly chastisement,believing that if I was truly humbled under it all would work for good. Whileunder this bodily weakness, my mind was at times exercised for my fellow-creatures in the West Indies, and I grew jealous over myself lest thedisagreeableness of the prospect should hinder me from obediently attendingthereto; for, though I knew not that the Lord required me to go there, yet Ibelieved that resignation was now called for in that respect. Feeling a dangerof not being wholly devoted to Him, I was frequently engaged to watch untoprayer that I might be preserved; and upwards of a year having passed, as I oneday walked in a solitary wood, my mind being covered with awfulness, cries wereraised in me to my merciful Father, that He would graciously keep me infaithfulness; and it then settled on my mind, as a duty, to open my conditionto Friends at our Monthly Meeting, which I did soon after, as follows: -"An exercise hath attended me for some time past, and of late hath been moreweighty upon me, which is, that I believe it is required of me to be resignedto go on a visit to some parts of the West Indies."In the Quarterly and General Spring Meetings I found no clearness to expressanything further than that I believed resignation herein was required of me.
Having obtained certificates from all the said meetings, I felt like asojourner at my outward habitation, and kept free from worldly encumbrances,and I was often bowed in spirit before the Lord, with inward breathings to Himthat I might be rightly directed. I may here note that the circumstance beforerelated of my having, when young, joined with another executor in selling anegro lad till he might attain the age of thirty years, was now the cause ofmuch sorrow to me; and, after having settled matters relating to this youth, Iprovided a sea-store and bed, and things for the voyage. Hearing of a vessellikely to sail from Philadelphia for Barbadoes, I spake with one of the ownersat Burlington, and soon after went to Philadelphia on purpose to speak to himagain. He told me there was a Friend in town who was part owner of the saidvessel. I felt no inclination to speak with the latter, but returned home.
Awhile after I took leave of my family, and, going to Philadelphia, had someweighty conversation with the first-mentioned owner, and showed him a writing,as follows: -"On the 25th of Eleventh Month, 1769, as an exercise with respect to a visitto Barbadoes hath been weighty on my mind, I may express some of the trials which have attended me, under which I have at times rejoiced that I have feltmy own self-will subjected.
"Some years ago I retailed rum, sugar, and molasses, the fruits of the labourof slaves, but had not then much concern about them save only that the rummight be used in moderation; nor was this concern so weightily attended to as Inow believe it ought to have been. Having of late years been further informedrespecting the oppression too generally exercised in these islands, andthinking often on the dangers there are in connections of interest andfellowship with the works of darkness (Eph. v. 11), I have felt an increasingconcern to be wholly given up to the leadings of the Holy Spirit, and it hathseemed right that my small gain from this branch of trade should be applied inpromoting righteousness on the earth. This was the first motion towards a visitto Barbadoes. I believed also that part of my outward substance should beapplied in paying my passage, if I went, and providing things in a lowly wayfor my subsistence; but when the time drew near in which I believed it requiredof me to be in readiness, a difficulty arose which hath been a continual trialfor some months past, under which I have, with abasement of mind from day today, sought the Lord for instruction, having often had a feeling of thecondition of one formerly, who bewailed himself because the Lord hid His facefrom him. During these exercises my heart hath often been contrite, and I havehad a tender feeling of the temptations of my fellow-creatures, labouring underexpensive customs not agreeable to the simplicity that 'there is in Christ' (2Cor. ii. 3), and sometimes in the renewings of gospel love I have been helpedto minister to others.
"That which hath so closely engaged my mind, in seeking to the Lord forinstruction, is, whether, after the full information I have had of theoppression which the slaves lie under who raise the West India produce, which Ihave gained by reading a caution and warning to Great Britain and her colonies,written by Anthony Benezet, it is right for me to take passage in a vesselemployed in the West India trade.
"To trade freely with oppressors without labouring to dissuade them from suchunkind treatment, and to seek for gain by such traffic, tends, I believe, tomake them more easy respecting their conduct than they would be, if the causeof universal righteousness was humbly and firmly attended to by those ingeneral with whom they have commerce; and that complaint of the Lord by hisprophet, "They have strengthened the hands of the wicked," hath very oftenrevived in my mind. I may here add some circumstances which occurred to mebefore I had any prospect of a visit there. David longed for some water in awell beyond an army of Philistines who were at war with Israel, and some of his men, to please him, ventured their lives in passing through this army, andbrought that water.
"It doth not appear that the Israelites were then scarce of water, but ratherthat David gave way to delicacy of taste; and having reflected on the danger towhich these men had been exposed, he considered this water as their blood, andhis heart smote him that he could not drink it, but he poured it out to theLord. The oppression of the slaves which I have seen in several journeyssouthward on this continent, and the report of their treatment in the WestIndies, have deeply affected me, and a care to live in the spirit of peace andminister no just cause of offence to my fellow-creatures having from time totime livingly revived in my mind, I have for some years past declined togratify my palate with those sugars.
"I do not censure my brethren in these things, but I believe the Father ofMercies, to whom all mankind by creation are equally related, hath heard thegroans of this oppressed people, and that He is preparing some to have a tenderfeeling of their condition. Trading in, or the frequent use of any produceknown to be raised by the labour of those who are under such lamentableoppression, hath appeared to be a subject which may hereafter require the moreserious consideration of the humble followers of Christ, the Prince of Peace.
"After long and mournful exercise I am now free to mention how things haveopened in my mind, with desires that, if it may please the Lord further to openHis will to any of His children in this matter, they may faithfully follow Himin such further manifestation.
"The number of those who decline the use of West India produce, on account ofthe hard usage of the slaves who raise it, appears small, even among peopletruly pious; and the labours in Christian love on that subject of those who do,are not very extensive. Were the trade from this continent to the West Indiesto be stopped at once, I believe many there would suffer for want of bread. Didwe on this continent and the inhabitants of the West Indies generally dwell inpure righteousness, I believe a small trade between us might be right. Underthese considerations, when the thoughts of wholly declining the use of trading-vessels and of trying to hire a vessel to go under ballast have arisen in mymind, I have believed that the labours in gospel love hitherto bestowed in thecause of universal righteousness have not reached that height. If the trade tothe West Indies were no more than was consistent with pure wisdom, I believethe passage-money would, for good reasons, be higher than it is now; andtherefore, under deep exercise of mind, I have believed that I should not takeadvantage of this great trade and small passage-money, but, as a testimony in favour of less trading, should pay more than is common for others to pay if Igo at this time."The first-mentioned owner, having read the paper, went with me to the otherowner, who also read over the paper, and we had some solid conversation, underwhich I felt my self bowed in reverence before the Most High. At length one ofthem asked me if I would go and see the vessel. But not having clearness in mymind to go, I went to my lodging and retired in private under great exercise ofmind; and my tears were poured out before the Lord with inward cries that Hewould graciously help me under these trials. I believe my mind was resigned,but I did not feel clearness to proceed; and my own weakness and the necessityof divine instruction were impressed upon me.
I was for a time as one who knew not what to do, and was tossed as in atempest; under which affliction the doctrine of Christ, "Take no thought forthe morrow," arose livingly before me, and I was favoured to get into a gooddegree of stillness. Having been near two days in town, I believed my obedienceto my Heavenly Father consisted in returning homeward; I therefore went overamong Friends on the Jersey shore and tarried till the morning on which thevessel was appointed to sail. As I lay in bed the latter part of that night mymind was comforted, and I felt what I esteemed a fresh confirmation that it wasthe Lord's will that I should pass through some further exercises near home; soI went thither, and still felt like a sojourner with my family. In the freshspring of pure love, I had some labours in a private way among Friends on asubject relating to truth's testimony, under which I had frequently beenexercised in heart for some years. I remember, as I walked on the road underthis exercise, that passage in Ezekiel came fresh upon me, "Whithersoever theirfaces were turned, thither they went." And I was graciously helped to dischargemy duty in the fear and dread of the Almighty.
In the course of a few weeks it pleased the Lord to visit me with a pleurisy;and after I had lain a few days and felt the disorder very grievous, I wasthoughtful how might it end. I had of late, through various exercises, beenmuch weaned from the pleasant things of this life; and I now thought, if itwere the Lord's will to put an end to my labours and graciously to receive meinto the arms of His mercy, death would be acceptable to me; but if it were Hiswill further to refine me under affliction, and to make me in any degree usefulin His Church, I desired not to die. I may with thankfulness say that in thiscase, I felt resignedness wrought in me, and had no inclination to send for adoctor, believing, if it were the Lord's will through outward means to raise meup, some sympathizing Friends would be sent to minister to me; whichaccordingly was the case. But though I was carefully attended, yet the disorderwas at times so heavy that I had no expectation of recovery. One night in particular my bodily distress was great; my feet grew cold, and the coldincreased up my legs towards my body; at that time I had no inclination to askmy nurse to apply anything warm to my feet, expecting my end was near. After Ihad lain near ten hours in this condition, I closed my eyes, thinking whether Imight now be delivered out of the body; but in these awful moments my mind waslivingly opened to behold the Church; and strong engagements were begotten inme for the everlasting well-being of my fellow-creatures. I felt in the springof pure love that I might remain some time longer in the body, to fill upaccording to my measure that which remains of the afflictions of Christ, and tolabour for the good of the Church; after which I requested my nurse to applywarmth to my feet and I revived. The next night, feeling a weighty exercise ofspirit and having a solid Friend sitting up with me, I requested him to writewhat I said, which he did as follows: -Fourth day of the First Month, 1770, about five in the morning. -- "I haveseen in the Light of the Lord that the day is approaching when the man that ismost wise in human policy shall be the greatest fool; and the arm that ismighty to support injustice shall be broken to pieces; the enemies ofrighteousness shall make a terrible rattle, and shall mightily torment oneanother; for He that is omnipotent is rising up to judgment, and will plead thecause of the oppressed; and He commanded me to open the vision."Near a week after this, feeling my mind livingly opened, I sent for aneighbour, who, at my request, wrote as follows: -"The place of prayer is a precious habitation; for I now saw that the prayersof the saints were precious incense; and a trumpet was given to me that I mightsound forth this language; that the children might hear it and be invitedtogether to this precious habitation, where the prayers of the saints, as sweetincense, arise before the throne of God and the Lamb. I saw this habitation tobe safe, -- to be inwardly quiet when there were great stirrings and commotionsin the world.
"Prayer, at this day, in pure resignation, is a precious place: the trumpetis sounded; the call goes forth to the Church that she gather to the place ofpure inward prayer; and her habitation is safe."
Chapter 11
HAVING been some time under a religious concern to prepare for crossing theseas, in order to visit Friends in the northern parts of England, and moreparticularly in Yorkshire, after consideration I thought it expedient to informFriends of it at our Monthly Meeting at Burlington, who, having unity with metherein, gave me a certificate. I afterwards communicated the same to ourQuarterly Meeting, and they likewise certified their concurrence. Some timeafter, at the General Spring Meeting of ministers and elders, I thought it myduty to acquaint them with the religious exercise which attended my mind; andthey likewise signified their unity therewith by a certificate, dated the 24thof Third Month, 1772, directed to Friends in Great Britain.
In the Fourth Month following, I thought the time was come for me to makesome inquiry for a suitable conveyance; and as my concern was principallytowards the northern parts of England, it seemed most proper to go in a vesselbound to Liverpool or Whitehaven. While I was at Philadelphia deliberating onthis subject I was informed that my beloved friend Samuel Emlen, junior,intended to go to London, and had taken a passage for himself in the cabin ofthe ship called the Mary and Elizabeth, of which James Sparks was master, andJohn Head, of the city of Philadelphia, one of the owners; and feeling adraught in my mind towards the steerage of the same ship, I went first andopened to Samuel the feeling I had concerning it.
My beloved friend wept when I spake to him, and appeared glad that I hadthoughts of going in the vessel with him, though my prospect was toward thesteerage: and he offering to go with me, we went on board, first into the cabin-- a commodious room -- and then into the steerage, where we sat down on achest, the sailors being busy about us. The owner of the ship also came and satdown with us. My mind was turned towards Christ, the heavenly Counsellor, andfeeling at this time my own will subjected, my heart was contrite before Him. Amotion was made by the owner to go and sit in the cabin, as a place moreretired; but I felt easy to leave the ship, and, making no agreement as to apassage in her, told the owner if I took a passage in the ship I believed itwould be in the steerage; but did not say much as to my exercise in that case.
After I went to my lodgings, and the case was a little known in town, aFriend laid before me the great inconvenience attending a passage in thesteerage, which for a time appeared very discouraging to me.
I soon after went to bed, and my mind was under a deep exercise before theLord, whose helping hand was manifested to me as I slept that night, and Hislove strengthened my heart. In the morning I went with two Friends on board thevessel again, and after a short time spent therein, I went with Samuel Emlen tothe house of the owner, to whom, in the hearing of Samuel only, I opened my exercise in relation to a scruple I felt with regard to a passage in the cabin,in substance as follows: -"That on the outside of that part of the ship where the cabin was, I observedsundry sorts of carved work and imagery; that in the cabin I observed somesuperfluity of workmanship of several sorts; and that according to the ways ofmen's reckoning, the sum of money to be paid for a passage in that apartmenthas some relation to the expense of furnishing it to please the minds of suchas give way to a conformity to this world; and that in this, as in other cases,the moneys received from the passengers are calculated to defray the cost ofthese superfluities, as well as the other expenses of their passage. Itherefore felt a scruple with regard to paying my money to be applied to suchpurposes."As my mind was now opened, I told the owner that I had, at several times, inmy travels, seen great oppressions on this continent, at which my heart hadbeen much affected and brought into a feeling of the state of the sufferers;and having many times been engaged in the fear and love of God, to labour withthose under whom the oppressed have been borne down and afflicted, I have oftenperceived that with a view to get riches and to provide estates for children,that they may live conformably to the customs and honours of this world, manyare entangled in the spirit of oppression, and the exercise of my soul has beensuch, that I could not find peace in joining in anything which I saw wasagainst that wisdom which is pure.
After this I agreed for a passage in the steerage; and hearing that JosephWhite had desired to see me, I went to his house, and the next day home, whereI tarried two nights. Early the next morning, I parted with my family under asense of the humbling hand of God upon me, and, going to Philadelphia, had anopportunity with several of my beloved friends, who appeared to be concernedfor me on account of the unpleasant situation of that part of the vessel inwhich I was likely to lodge. In these opportunities my mind, through themercies of the Lord, was kept low in an inward waiting for His help; andFriends having expressed their desire that I might have a more convenient placethan the steerage, did not urge it, but appeared disposed to leave me to theLord.
Having stayed two nights at Philadelphia, I went the next day to DerbyMonthly Meeting, where through the strength of divine love my heart wasenlarged towards the youth there present, under which I was helped to labour insome tenderness of spirit. I lodged at William Horn's and afterwards went toChester, where I met with Samuel Emlen, and we went on board 1st of FifthMonth, 1772. As I sat alone on the deck, I felt a satisfactory evidence that my proceedings were not in my own will, but under the power of the cross ofChrist.
Seventh of Fifth Month. -- We have had rough weather mostly since I came onboard, and the passengers, James Reynolds, John Till Adams, Sarah Logan withher hired maid, and John Bispham, all sea-sick at times; from which sickness,through the tender mercies of my Heavenly Father, I have been preserved, myafflictions now being of another kind. There appeared an openness in the mindsof the master of the ship and in the cabin passengers towards me. We are oftentogether on the deck, and sometimes in the cabin. My mind, through the mercifulhelp of the Lord, hath been preserved in a good degree watchful and quiet, forwhich I have great cause to be thankful.
As my lodging in the steerage, now near a week, hath afforded me sundryopportunities of seeing, hearing, and feeling with respect to the life andspirit of many poor sailors, an exercise of soul hath attended me in regard toplacing our children and youth where they may be likely to be exampled andinstructed in the pure fear of the Lord.
Being much among the seamen I have, from a motion of love, taken sundryopportunities with one of them at a time, and have in free conversationlaboured to turn their minds toward the fear of the Lord. This day we had ameeting in the cabin, where my heart was contrite under a feeling of divinelove.
I believe a communication with different parts of the world by sea is attimes consistent with the will of our Heavenly Father, and to educate someyouth in the practice of sailing, I believe, may be right; but how lamentableis the present corruption of the world! How impure are the channels throughwhich trade is conducted! How great is the danger to which poor lads areexposed when placed on shipboard to learn the art of sailing! Five ladstraining up for the seas were on board this ship. Two of them were brought upin our Society, and the other, by name James Naylor, is a member, to whosefather James Naylor, mentioned in Sewel's history, appears to have been uncle.
I often feel a tenderness of heart towards these poor lads, and at times lookat them as though they were my children according to the flesh.
Oh that all may take heed and beware of covetousness! Oh that all may learnof Christ, who was meek and lowly of heart. Then, in faithfully following Him,He will teach us to be content with food and raiment without respect to thecustoms or honours of this world. Men thus redeemed will feel a tender concernfor their fellow-creatures, and a desire that those in the lowest stations may be assisted and encouraged, and where owners of ships attain to the perfect lawof liberty and are doers of the Word, these will be blessed in their deeds.
A ship at sea commonly sails all night, and the seamen take their watchesfour hours at a time. Rising to work in the night, it is not commonly pleasantin any case, but in dark rainy nights it is very disagreeable, even though eachman were furnished with all conveniences. If, after having been on deck severalhours in the night, they come down into the steerage soaking wet, and are soclosely stowed that proper convenience for change of garments is not easilycome at, but for want of proper room their wet garments are thrown in heaps,and sometimes, through much crowding, are trodden under foot in going to theirlodgings and getting out of them, and it is difficult at times for each to findhis own. Here are trials for the poor sailors.
Now, as I have been with them in my lodge, my heart hath often yearned forthem, and tender desires have been raised in me that all owners and masters ofvessels may dwell in the love of God and therein act uprightly, and by seekingless for gain and looking carefully to their ways they may earnestly labour toremove all cause of provocation from the poor seamen, so that they may neitherfret nor use excess of strong drink; for, indeed, the poor creatures, in thewet and cold, seem to apply at times to strong drink to supply the want ofother convenience. Great reformation is wanting in the world, and the necessityof it among those who do business on great waters hath at this time beenabundantly opened before me.
Eighth of Fifth Month. -- This morning the clouds gathered, the wind blewstrong from the south-east, and before noon so increased that sailing appeareddangerous. The seamen then bound up some of their sails and took down others,and the storm increasing, they put the dead-lights, so called, into the cabinwindows and lighted a lamp as at night. The wind now blew vehemently, and thesea wrought to that degree that an awful seriousness prevailed in the cabin, inwhich I spent, I believe, about seventeen hours, for the cabin passengers hadgiven me frequent invitations, and I thought the poor wet toiling seamen hadneed of all the room in the crowded steerage. They now ceased from sailing andput the vessel in the posture called "lying to."My mind during this tempest, through the gracious assistance of the Lord, waspreserved in a good degree of resignation; and at times I expressed a few wordsin His love to my shipmates in regard to the all-sufficiency of Him who formedthe great deep, and whose care is so extensive that a sparrow falls not withoutHis notice; and thus in a tender frame of mind I spoke to them of the necessityof our yielding in true obedience to the instructions of our Heavenly Father,who sometimes through adversities intendeth our refinement.
About eleven at night I went out on the deck. The sea wrought exceedingly,and the high, foaming waves round about had in some sort the appearance offire, but did not give much if any light. The sailor at the helm said he latelysaw a corposant at the head of the mast. I observed that the master of the shipordered the carpenter to keep on the deck; and, though he said little, Iapprehended his care was that the carpenter with his axe might be in readinessin case of any emergency. Soon after this the vehemency of the wind abated, andbefore morning they again put the ship under sail.
Tenth of Fifth Month. -- It being the first day of the week and fine weather,we had a meeting in the cabin, at which most of the seamen were present; thismeeting was to me a strengthening time. 13th. -- As I continue to lodge in thesteerage I feel an openness this morning to express something further of thestate of my mind in respect to poor lads bound apprentice to learn the art ofsailing. As I believe sailing is of use in the world, a labour of soul attendsme that the pure counsel of truth may be humbly waited for in this case by allconcerned in the business of the seas. A pious father whose mind is exercisedfor the everlasting welfare of his child, may not with a peaceable mind placehim out to an employment among a people whose common course of life ismanifestly corrupt and profane. Great is the present defect among seafaring menin regard to virtue and piety; and, by reason of an abundant traffic, and manyships being used for war, so many people are employed on the sea, that thesubject of placing lads to this employment appears very weighty.
When I remember the saying of the Most High through His prophet, "This peoplehave I formed for myself; they shall show forth My praise," and think ofplacing children among such to learn the practice of sailing, the consistencyof it with a pious education seems to me like that mentioned by the prophet,"There is no answer from God."Profane examples are very corrupting and very forcible. And as my mind dayafter day and night after night hath been affected with a sympathizingtenderness towards poor children who are put to the employment of sailors, Ihave sometimes had weighty conversation with the sailors in the steerage, whowere mostly respectful to me, and became more so the longer I was with them.
They mostly appeared to take kindly what I said to them; but their minds wereso deeply impressed with the almost universal depravity among sailors, that thepoor creatures in their answers to me have revived in my remembrance that ofthe degenerate Jews a little before the captivity, as repeated by Jeremiah theprophet, "There is no hope."Now under this exercise a sense of the desire of outward gain prevailingamong us felt grievous; and a strong call to the professed followers of Christ was raised in me that all may take heed lest, through loving this presentworld, they be found in a continued neglect of duty with respect to a faithfullabour for reformation.
To silence every motion proceeding from the love of money, and humbly to waitupon God to know His will concerning us have appeared necessary. He alone isable to strengthen us to dig deep, to remove all which lies between us and thesafe foundation, and so to direct us in our outward employment that pureuniversal love may shine forth in our proceedings. Desires arising from thespirit of truth are pure desires; and when a mind divinely opened towards ayoung generation is made sensible of corrupting examples powerfully working andextensively spreading among them, how moving is the prospect! In a world ofdangers and difficulties, like a desolate, thorny wilderness, how precious, howcomfortable, how safe, are the leadings of Christ the good Shepherd, who said,"I know my sheep, and am known of mine!"Sixteenth of Fifth Month. -- Wind for several days past often high, what thesailors call squally, with a rough sea and frequent rains. This last night hasbeen a very trying one to the poor seamen, the water the most part of the nightrunning over the main-deck, and sometimes breaking waves came on the quarterdeck. The latter part of the night, as I lay in bed, my mind was humbled underthe power of divine love; and resignedness to the great Creator of the earthand the seas was renewedly wrought in me, and His fatherly care over Hischildren felt precious to my soul. I was now desirous to embrace everyopportunity of being inwardly acquainted with the hardships and difficulties ofmy fellow-creatures, and to labour in His love for the spreading of purerighteousness on the earth. Opportunities were frequent of hearing conversationamong the sailors respecting the voyages to Africa, and the manner of bringingthe deeply oppressed slaves into our islands. They are frequently brought onboard the vessels in chains and fetters, with hearts loaded with grief underthe apprehension of miserable slavery; so that my mind was frequently engagedto meditate on these things.
Seventeenth of Fifth Month and first of the week. -- We had a meeting in thecabin, to which the seamen generally came. My spirit was contrite before theLord, whose love at this time affected my heart. In the afternoon I felt atender sympathy of soul with my poor wife and family left behind, in whichstate my heart was enlarged in desires that they may walk in that humbleobedience wherein the everlasting Father may be their guide and support throughall their difficulties in this world; and a sense of that gracious assistance,through which my mind hath been strengthened to take up the cross and leavethem to travel in the love of truth, hath begotten thankfulness in my heart toour great Helper.
Twenty-fourth of Fifth Month. -- A clear, pleasant morning. As I sat on deckI felt a reviving in my nature, which had been weakened through much rainyweather and high winds and being shut up in a close, unhealthy air. Severalnights of late I have felt my breathing difficult; and a little after therising of the second watch, which is about midnight, I have got up and stoodnear an hour with my face near the hatchway, to get the fresh air at the smallvacancy under the hatch door, which is commonly shut down, partly to keep outrain and sometimes to keep the breaking waves from dashing into the steerage. Imay with thankfulness to the Father of Mercies acknowledge that in my presentweak state, my mind hath been supported to bear this affliction with patience;and I have looked at the present dispensation as a kindness from the greatFather of mankind, who, in this my floating pilgrimage, is in some degreebringing me to feel what many thousands of my fellow-creatures often suffer ina greater degree.
My appetite failing, the trial hath been the heavier; and I have felt tenderbreathings in my soul after God, the Fountain of comfort, whose inward helphath supplied at times the want of outward convenience; and strong desires haveattended me that His family, who are acquainted with the movings of His HolySpirit, may be so redeemed from the love of money and from that spirit in whichmen seek honour one of another, that in all business, by sea or land, they mayconstantly keep in view the coming of His kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven,and, by faithfully following this safe guide, may show forth examples tendingto lead out of that under which the creation groans. This day we had a meetingin the cabin, in which I was favoured in some degree to experience thefulfilling of that saying of the prophet, "The Lord hath been a strength to thepoor, a strength to the needy in their distress"; for which my heart is bowedin thankfulness before Him.
Twenty-eighth of Fifth Month. -- Wet weather of late, and small winds,inclining to calms. Our seamen cast a lead, I suppose about one hundredfathoms, and found no bottom. Foggy weather this morning. Through the kindnessof the great Preserver of men my mind remains quiet; and a degree of exercisefrom day to day attends me, that the pure peaceable government of Christ mayspread and prevail among mankind.
The leading of a young generation in that pure way in which the wisdom ofthis world hath no place, where parents and tutors, humbly waiting for theheavenly Counsellor, may example them in the truth as it is in Jesus, hath forseveral days been the exercise of my mind. Oh, how safe, how quiet, is thatstate where the soul stands in pure obedience to the voice of Christ, and awatchful care is maintained not to follow the voice of the stranger! HereChrist is felt to be our Shepherd, and under His leading people are brought to a stability; and where He doth not lead forward, we are bound in the bonds ofpure love to stand still and wait upon Him.
In the love of money and in the wisdom of this world, business is proposed,then the urgency of affairs pushes forward, and the mind cannot in this statediscern the good and perfect will of God concerning us. The love of God ismanifested in graciously calling us to come out of that which stands inconfusion; but if we bow not in the name of Jesus, if we give not up thoseprospects of gain which in the wisdom of this world are open before us, but sayin our hearts, "I must needs go on; and in going on I hope to keep as near thepurity of truth as the business before me will admit of," the mind remainsentangled and the shining of the light of life into the soul is obstructed.
Surely the Lord calls to mourning and deep humiliation, that in His fear wemay be instructed and led safely through the great difficulties andperplexities in this present age. In an entire subjection of our wills, theLord graciously opens a way for His people, where all their wants are boundedby His wisdom; and here we experience the substance of what Moses the prophetfigured out in the water of separation as a purification from sin.
Esau is mentioned as a child red all over like a hairy garment. In Esau isrepresented the natural will of man. In preparing the water of separation a redheifer without blemish, on which there had been no yoke, was to be slain andher blood sprinkled by the priest seven times towards the tabernacle of thecongregation; then her skin, her flesh, and all pertaining to her, was to beburnt without the camp, and of her ashes the water was prepared. Thus, thecrucifying of the old man, or natural will, is represented; and hence comes aseparation from that carnal mind which is death. "He who toucheth the dead bodyof a man and purifieth not himself with the water of separation, defileth thetabernacle of the Lord; he is unclean" (Num. xix. 13).
If any, who through the love of gain engage in business wherein they dwell asamong the tombs and touch the bodies of those who are dead, should through theinfinite love of God feel the power of the cross of Christ to crucify them tothe world, and therein learn humbly to follow the divine Leader, here is thejudgment of this world, here the prince of this world is cast out. The water ofseparation is felt; and though we have been among the slain, and through thedesire of gain have touched the dead body of a man, yet in the purifying loveof Christ we are washed in the water of separation; we are brought off fromthat business, from that gain, and from that fellowship which is not agreeableto His holy will. I have felt a renewed confirmation in the time of thisvoyage, that the Lord, in His infinite love, is calling to His visited childrenso to give up all outward possessions and means of getting treasures, that His Holy Spirit may have free course in their hearts and direct them in all theirproceedings. To feel the substance pointed at in this figure, man must knowdeath as to his own will.
"No man can see God and live." This was spoken by the Almighty to Moses theprophet and opened by our blessed Redeemer. As death comes on our own wills,and a new life is formed in us, the heart is purified and prepared tounderstand clearly, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Inpurity of heart the mind is divinely opened to behold the nature of universalrighteousness, or the righteousness of the kingdom of God. "No man hath seenthe Father save he that is of God, he hath seen the Father."The natural mind is active about the things of this life, and in this naturalactivity business is proposed and a will is formed in us to go forward in it.
And so long as this natural will remains unsubjected, so long there remains anobstruction to the clearness of divine light operating in us; but when we loveGod with all our heart and with all our strength, in this love we love ourneighbour as ourselves; and a tenderness of heart is felt towards all peoplefor whom Christ died, even those who, as to outward circumstances, may be to usas the Jews were to the Samaritans. "Who is my neighbour?" See this questionanswered by our Saviour, Luke x. 30. In this love we can say that Jesus is theLord; and in this reformation in our souls, manifested in a full reformation ofour lives, wherein all things are new, and all things are of God (2 Cor. v.
18), the desire of gain is subjected.
When employment is honestly followed in the light of truth, and people becomediligent in business, "fervent in spirit, serving the Lord" (Rom. xii. 11), themeaning of the name is opened to us: "This is the name by which He shall becalled, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS" (Jer. xxiii. 6). Oh, how precious is thename! it is like ointment poured out. The chaste virgins are in love with theRedeemer; and for promoting his peaceable kingdom in the world are content toendure hardness like good soldiers; and are so separated in spirit from thedesire of riches, that in their employments they become extensively careful togive no offence, either to Jew or Heathen or to the Church of Christ.
Thirty-first of Fifth Month and first of the week. -- We had a meeting in thecabin, with nearly all the ship's company, the whole being near thirty. In thismeeting the Lord in mercy favoured us with the extending of His love.
Second of Sixth Month. -- Last evening the seamen found bottom at aboutseventy fathoms. This morning, a fair wind and pleasant. I sat on deck; myheart was overcome with the love of Christ, and melted into contrition beforeHim. In this state the prospect of that work to which I found my mind drawn when in my native land being, in some degree, opened before me, I felt like alittle child; and my cries were put up to my Heavenly Father for preservation,that in an humble dependence on Him my soul might be strengthened in His loveand kept inwardly waiting for His counsel. This afternoon we saw that part ofEngland called the Lizard.
Some fowls yet remained of those the passengers took for their sea-store. Ibelieve about fourteen perished in the storms at sea, by the waves breakingover the quarter-deck, and a considerable number with sickness at differenttimes. I observed the cocks crew as we came down the Delaware, and while wewere near the land, but afterwards I think I did not hear one of them crow tillwe came near the English coast, when they again crowed a few times. Inobserving their dull appearance at sea, and the pining sickness of some ofthem, I often remembered the Fountain of goodness, who gave being to allcreatures, and whose love extends to caring for the sparrows. I believe wherethe love of God is verily perfected, and the true spirit of governmentwatchfully attended to, a tenderness towards all creatures made subject to uswill be experienced, and a care felt in us that we do not lessen that sweetnessof life in the animal creation which the great Creator intends for them underour government.
Fourth of Sixth Month. -- Wet weather, high winds, and so dark that we couldsee but a little way. I perceived our seamen were apprehensive of the danger ofmissing the channel, which I understood was narrow. In a while it grew lighter,and they saw the land and knew where we were. Thus the Father of Mercies waspleased to try us with the sight of dangers, and then graciously, from time totime, deliver us from them; thus sparing our lives, that in humility andreverence we might walk before Him and put our trust in Him. About noon a pilotcame off from Dover, where my beloved friend Samuel Emlen went on shore andthence to London, about seventy-two miles by land; but I felt easy in stayingin the ship.
Seventh of Sixth Month and first of the week. -- A clear morning: we lay atanchor for the tide, and had a parting meeting with the ship's company, inwhich my heart was enlarged in a fervent concern for them, that they may cometo experience salvation through Christ. Had a head-wind up the Thames; laysometimes at anchor; saw many ships passing, and some at anchor near; and I hadlarge opportunity of feeling the spirit in which the poor bewildered sailorstoo generally live. That lamentable degeneracy which so much prevails in thepeople employed on the sea, so affected my heart that I cannot easily conveythe feeling I had to another.
The present state of the seafaring life in general appears so opposite tothat of a pious education, so full of corruption and extreme alienation fromGod, so full of the most dangerous examples to young people, that in lookingtowards a young generation I feel a care for them, that they may have aneducation different from the present one of lads at sea, and that all of us whoare acquainted with the pure gospel spirit may lay this case to heart, mayremember the lamentable corruptions which attend the conveyance of merchandiseacross the seas, and so abide in the love of Christ that, being delivered fromthe entangling expenses of a curious, delicate, and luxurious life, we maylearn contentment with a little, and promote the seafaring life no further thanthat spirit which leads into all truth attends us in our proceedings.
Chapter 12
ON the 8th of Sixth Month, 1772, we landed at London, and I went straightway tothe Yearly Meeting of ministers and elders, which had been gathered, I suppose,about half an hour.(1)In this meeting my mind was humbly contrite. In the afternoon the meeting forbusiness was opened, which by adjournments held near a week. In these meetingsI often felt a living concern for the establishment of Friends in the pure lifeof truth. My heart was enlarged in the meetings of ministers, that forbusiness, and in several meetings for public worship, and I felt my mind unitedin true love to the faithful labourers now gathered at this Yearly Meeting. Onthe 15th I went to a Quarterly Meeting at Hertford.
First of Seventh Month. -- I have been at Quarterly Meetings at Sherrington,Northampton, Banbury, and Shipton, and have had sundry meetings between. Mymind hath been bowed under a sense of divine goodness manifested among us; myheart hath been often enlarged in true love, both among ministers and eldersand in public meetings, and through the Lord's goodness I believe it hath beena fresh visitation to many, in particular to the youth.
Seventeenth. -- I was this day at Birmingham: I have been at meetings atCoventry, Warwick, in Oxfordshire, and sundry other places, and have felt thehumbling hand of the Lord upon me; but through His tender mercies I find peacein the labours I have gone through.
Twenty-sixth. -- I have continued travelling northward, visiting meetings.
Was this day at Nottingham; the forenoon meeting was especially, through divinelove, a heart-tendering season. Next day I had a meeting in a Friend's family,which, through the strengthening arm of the Lord, was a time to be thankfullyremembered.
Second of Eighth Month and first of the week. -- I was this day at Sheffield,a large inland town. I was at sundry meetings last week, and feel inwardthankfulness for that divine support which hath been graciously extended to me.
On the 9th I was at Rushworth. I have lately passed through some painfullabour, but have been comforted under a sense of that divine visitation which Ifeel extended towards many young people.
Sixteenth of Eighth Month and the first of the week, I was at Settle. It hathof late been a time of inward poverty, under which my mind hath been preservedin a watchful, tender state, feeling for the mind of the Holy Leader, and Ifind peace in the labours I have passed through.
On inquiry in many places I find the price of rye about five shillings;wheat, eight shillings per bushel; oatmeal, twelve shillings for a hundred andtwenty pounds; mutton from threepence to fivepence per pound; bacon fromsevenpence to ninepence; cheese from fourpence to sixpence; butter fromeightpence to tenpence; house-rent for a poor man from twenty-five shillings toforty shillings per year, to be paid weekly; wood for fire very scarce anddear; coal in some places two shillings and sixpence per hundredweight; butnear the pits not a quarter so much. Oh, may the wealthy consider the poor!
The wages of labouring men in several counties toward London at tenpence perday in common business, the employer finds small beer and the labourer findshis own food; but in harvest and hay time wages are about one shilling per day,and the labourer hath all his diet. In some parts of the north of England, poorlabouring men have their food where they work, and appear in common to dorather better than nearer London. Industrious women who spin in the factoriesget some fourpence, some fivepence, and so on to six, seven, eight, nine, ortenpence per day, and find their own house-room and diet. Great numbers of poorpeople live chiefly on bread and water in the southern parts of England, aswell as in the northern parts; and there are many poor children not even taughtto read. May those who have abundance lay these things to heart!
Stage-coaches frequently go upwards of one hundred miles in twenty-fourhours; and I have heard Friends say in several places that it is common forhorses to be killed with hard driving, and that many others are driven tillthey grow blind. Post-boys pursue their business, each one to his stage, allnight through the winter. Some boys who ride long stages suffer greatly inwinter nights, and at several places I have heard of their being frozen todeath. So great is the hurry in the spirit of this world, that in aiming to dobusiness quickly and to gain wealth, the creation at this day doth loudlygroan.
As my journey hath been without a horse, I have had several offers of beingassisted on my way in these stage-coaches, but have not been in them; nor haveI had freedom to send letters by these posts in the present way of riding, the stages being so fixed, and one boy dependent on another as to time, and goingat great speed, that in long cold winter nights the poor boys suffer much. Iheard in America of the way of these posts, and cautioned Friends in theGeneral Meeting of ministers and elders at Philadelphia, and in the YearlyMeeting of ministers and elders in London, not to send letters to me on anycommon occasion by post. And though on this account I may be likely not to hearso often from my family left behind, yet for righteousness' sake I am, throughdivine favour, made content.
I have felt great distress of mind since I came on this island, on accountof the members of our Society being mixed with the world in various sorts oftraffic, carried on in impure channels. Great is the trade to Africa forslaves; and for the loading of these ships a great number of people areemployed in their factories, among whom are many of our Society. Friends inearly times refused on a religious principle to make or trade in superfluities,of which we have many testimonies on record; but for want of faithfulness,some, whose examples were of note in our Society, gave way, from which otherstook more liberty. Members of our Society worked in superfluities, and boughtand sold them, and thus dimness of sight came over many; at length Friends gotinto the use of some superfluities in dress and in the furniture of theirhouses, which hath spread from less to more, till superfluity of some kinds iscommon among us.
In this declining state many look at the example of others and too muchneglect the pure feeling of truth. Of late years a deep exercise hath attendedmy mind, that Friends may dig deep, may carefully cast forth the loose matterand get down to the rock, the sure foundation, and there hearken to that divinevoice which gives a clear and certain sound; and I have felt in that which dothnot receive, that, if Friends who have known the truth, keep in that tendernessof heart where all views of outward gain are given up, and their trust is onlyin the Lord, he will graciously lead some to be patterns of deep self-denial inthings relating to trade and handicraft labour; and others who have plenty ofthe treasures of this world will be examples of a plain frugal life, and paywages to such as they may hire, more liberally than is now customary in someplaces.
Twenty-third of Eighth Month. -- I was this day at Preston Patrick, and had acomfortable meeting. I have several times been entertained at the houses ofFriends who had sundry things about them that had the appearance of outwardgreatness, and as I have kept inward, way hath opened for conversation withsuch in private, in which divine goodness hath favoured us together with heart-tendering times.
Twenty-sixth of Eighth Month. -- Being now at George Crosfield's, in thecounty of Westmoreland, I feel a concern to commit to writing the followinguncommon circumstance: -In a time of sickness, a little more than two years and a half ago, I wasbrought so near the gates of death that I forgot my name. Being then desirousto know who I was, I saw a mass of matter of a dull gloomy colour between thesouth and the east, and was informed that this mass was human beings in asgreat misery as they could be and live, and that I was mixed with them, andthat henceforth I might not consider myself as a distinct or separate being. Inthis state I remained several hours. I then heard a soft melodious voice, morepure and harmonious than any I had heard with my ears before; I believed it wasthe voice of an angel who spake to the other angels; the words were, "JohnWoolman is dead." I soon remembered that I was once John Woolman, and beingassured that I was alive in the body, I greatly wondered what that heavenlyvoice could mean. I believed beyond doubting that it was the voice of an holyangel, but as yet it was a mystery to me.
I was then carried in spirit to the mines where poor oppressed people weredigging rich treasures for those called Christians, and heard them blasphemethe name of Christ, at which I was grieved, for His name to me was precious. Iwas then informed that these heathens were told that those who oppressed themwere the followers of Christ, and they said among themselves, "If Christdirected them to use us in this sort, then Christ is a cruel tyrant."All this time the song of the angel remained a mystery; and in the morning,my dear wife and some others coming to my bedside, I asked them if they knewwho I was, and they telling me I was John Woolman, thought I was light-headed,for I told them not what the angel said, nor was I disposed to talk much to anyone, but was very desirous to get so deep that I might understand this mystery.
My tongue was often so dry that I could not speak till I had moved it aboutand gathered some moisture, and as I lay still for a time I at length felt adivine power prepare my mouth that I could speak, and I then said, "I amcrucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.
And the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son ofGod, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Then the mystery was opened and Iperceived there was joy in heaven over a sinner who had repented, and that thelanguage "John Woolman is dead," meant no more than the death of my own will.
My natural understanding now returned as before, and I saw that peoplesetting off their tables with silver vessels at entertainments was oftenstained with worldly glory, and that in the present state of things I shouldtake heed how I fed myself out of such vessels. Going to our Monthly Meetingsoon after my recovery, I dined at a Friend's house where drink was brought insilver vessels, and not in any other. Wanting something to drink, I told him mycase with weeping, and he ordered some drink for me in another vessel. Iafterwards went through the same exercise in several Friends' houses inAmerica, as well as in England, and I have cause to acknowledge with humblereverence the loving-kindness of my Heavenly Father, who hath preserved me in such a tender frame of mind, that none, I believe, have ever been offended atwhat I have said on that subject.
After this sickness I spake not in public meetings for worship for nearly oneyear, but my mind was very often in company with the oppressed slaves as I satin meetings; and though under his dispensation I was shut up from speaking, yetthe spring of the gospel ministry was many times livingly opened in me, and thedivine gift operated by abundance of weeping, in feeling the oppression of thispeople. It being so long since I passed through this dispensation, and thematter remaining fresh and lively in my mind, I believe it safest for me tocommit it to writing.
Thirtieth of Eighth Month. -- This morning I wrote a letter in substance asfollows: -BELOVED FRIEND, --My mind is often affected as I pass along under a senseof the state of many poor people who sit under that sort of ministry whichrequires much outward labour to support it; and the loving-kindness of ourHeavenly Father in opening a pure gospel ministry in this nation hath oftenraised thankfulness in my heart to Him. I often remember the conflicts of thefaithful under persecution, and now look at the free exercise of the pure giftuninterrupted by outward laws as a trust committed to us, which requires ourdeepest gratitude and most careful attention. I feel a tender concern that thework of reformation so prosperously carried on in this land within a few agespast may go forward and spread among the nations, and may not go backwardthrough dust gathering on our garments, who have been called to a work so greatand so precious.
Last evening during thy absence I had a little opportunity with some of thyfamily, in which I rejoiced, and feeling a sweetness on my mind towards thee, Inow endeavour to open a little of the feeling I had there.
I have heard that you in these parts have at certain seasons Meetings ofConference in relation to Friends living up to our principles, in which severalmeetings unite in one. With this I feel unity, having in some measure felttruth lead that way among Friends in America, and I have found, my dear friend,that in these labours all superfluities in our own living are against us. Ifeel that pure love towards thee in which there is freedom.
I look at that precious gift bestowed on thee with awfulness before Him whogave it, and feel a desire that we may be so separated to the gospel of Christ,that those things which proceed from the spirit of this world may have no placeamong us.
Thy friend, JOHN WOOLMAN.
I rested a few days in body and mind with our friend, Jane Crosfield, who wasonce in America. On the sixth day of the week I was at Kendal, in Westmoreland,and at Greyrig Meeting the 30th day of the month, and first of the week. I have known poverty of late, and have been graciously supported to keep in thepatience, and am thankful under a sense of the goodness of the Lord towardsthose who are of a contrite spirit.
Sixth of Ninth Month and first of the week. -- I was this day at Counterside,a large meeting-house, and very full. Through the opening of pure love, it wasa strengthening time to me, and I believe to many more.
Thirteenth of Ninth Month. -- This day I was at Leyburn, a small meeting;but, the towns-people coming in, the house was crowded. It was a time of heavylabour, and I believe was a profitable meeting. At this place I heard that mykinsman, William Hunt, from North Carolina, who was on a religious visit toFriends in England, departed this life on the ninth of this month, of thesmallpox, at Newcastle. He appeared in the ministry when a youth, and hislabours therein were of good savour. He travelled much in that work in America.
I once heard him say in public testimony, that his concern in that visit was tobe devoted to the service of Christ so fully that he might not spend one minutein pleasing himself, which words, joined with his example, was a means ofstirring up the pure mind in me.
Having of late often travelled in wet weather through narrow streets in townsand villages, where dirtiness under foot and the scent arising from that filthwhich more or less infects the air of all thickly-settled towns weredisagreeable; and, being but weakly, I have felt distress both in body and mindwith that which is impure. In these journeys I have been where much cloth hathbeen dyed, and have, at sundry times, walked over ground where much of theirdye-stuffs has drained away. This hath produced a longing in my mind thatpeople might come into cleanness of spirit, cleanness of person, and cleannessabout their houses and garments.
Some of the great carry delicacy to a great height themselves, and yet realcleanliness is not generally promoted. Dyes being invented partly to please theeye and partly to hide dirt, I have felt in this weak state, when travelling indirtiness, and affected with unwholesome scents, a strong desire that thenature of dyeing cloth to hide dirt may be more fully considered.
Washing our garments to keep them sweet is cleanly, but it is the opposite toreal cleanliness to hide dirt in them. Through giving way to hiding dirt in ourgarments a spirit which would conceal that which is disagreeable isstrengthened. Real cleanliness becometh a holy people; but hiding that which isnot clean by colouring our garments seems contrary to the sweetness ofsincerity. Through some sorts of dyes cloth is rendered less useful. And if thevalue of dye-stuffs, and expense of dyeing, and the damage done to cloth, wereall added together, and that cost applied to keeping all sweet and clean, howmuch more would real cleanliness prevail.
On this visit to England I have felt some instructions sealed on my mind,which I am concerned to leave in writing for the use of such as are called tothe station of a minister of Christ.
Christ being the Prince of Peace, and we being no more than ministers, it isnecessary for us not only to feel a concern in our first going forth, but toexperience the renewing thereof in the appointment of meetings. I felt aconcern in America to prepare for this voyage, and being through the mercy ofGod brought safe hither, my heart was like a vessel that wanted vent. Forseveral weeks after my arrival, when my mouth was opened in meetings, it waslike the raising of a gate in a water-course when a weight of water lay uponit. In these labours there was a fresh visitation to many, especially to theyouth; but sometimes I felt poor and empty, and yet there appeared a necessityto appoint meetings. In this I was exercised to abide in the pure life oftruth, and in all my labours to watch diligently against the motions of self inmy own mind.
I have frequently found a necessity to stand up when the spring of theministry was low, and to speak from the necessity in that which subjecteth thewill of the creature; and herein I was united with the suffering seed, andfound inward sweetness in these mortifying labours. As I have been preserved ina watchful attention to the divine Leader, under these dispensations,enlargement at times hath followed, and the power of truth hath risen higher insome meetings than I ever knew it before through me. Thus I have been more andmore instructed as to the necessity of depending, not upon a concern which Ifelt in America to come on a visit to England, but upon the daily instructionsof Christ, the Prince of Peace.
Of late I have sometimes felt a stop in the appointment of meetings, notwholly but in part: and I do not feel liberty to appoint them so quickly, oneafter another, as I have done heretofore. The work of the ministry being a workof divine love, I feel that the openings thereof are to be waited for in allour appointments. Oh, how deep is divine wisdom! Christ puts forth Hisministers and goeth before them; and oh, how great is the danger of departingfrom the pure feeling of that which leadeth safely! Christ knoweth the state ofthe people, and in the pure feeling of the gospel ministry their states areopened to His servants. Christ knoweth when the fruit-bearing branchesthemselves have need of purging. Oh that these lessons may be remembered by me!
and that all who appoint meetings may proceed in the pure feeling of duty!
I have sometimes felt a necessity to stand up, but that spirit which is ofthe world hath so much prevailed in many, and the pure life of truth hath beenso pressed down, that I have gone forward, not as one travelling in a road castup and well prepared, but as a man walking through a miry place in which arestones here and there safe to step on, but so situated that, one step beingtaken, time is necessary to see where to step next. Now I find that in a state of pure obedience the mind learns contentment in appearing weak and foolish tothat wisdom which is of the world; and in these lowly labours, they who standin a low place and are rightly exercised under the cross will find nourishment.
The gift is pure; and while the eye is single in attending thereto theunderstanding is preserved clear; self is kept out. We rejoice in filling upthat which remains of the afflictions of Christ for His body's sake, which isthe Church.
The natural man loveth eloquence, and many love to hear eloquent orations,and if there be not a careful attention to the gift, men who have once labouredin the pure gospel ministry, growing weary of suffering, and ashamed ofappearing weak, may kindle a fire, compass themselves about with sparks, andwalk in the light, not of Christ, who is under suffering, but of that firewhich they in departing from the gift have kindled, in order that those hearerswho have left the meek, suffering state for worldly wisdom may be warmed withthis fire and speak highly of their labours. That which is of God gathers toGod, and that which is of the world is owned by the world.
In this journey a labour hath attended my mind, that the ministers among usmay be preserved in the meek, feeling life of truth, where we may have nodesire but to follow Christ and to be with Him, that when He is undersuffering, we may suffer with Him, and never desire to rise up in dominion, butas He, by the virtue of His own spirit, may raise up.
A few days after writing these considerations, our dear friend in the courseof his religious visits came to the city of York, (2) and attended most of thesittings of the Quarterly Meeting there, but before it was over he was takenill of the smallpox. Our friend Thomas Priestman, and others who attended him,preserved the following minutes of his expressions in the time of hissickness:-First day the 27th of the Ninth Month, 1772. -- His disorder appeared to bethe smallpox. Being asked to have a doctor's advice, he signified he had notfreedom or liberty in his mind so to do, standing wholly resigned to His willwho gave him life, and whose power he had witnessed to raise and heal him insickness before, when he seemed nigh unto death; and if he was to wind up now,he was perfectly resigned, having no will either to live or die, and did notchoose any should be sent for to him; but a young man, an apothecary, coming ofhis own accord the next day and desiring to do something for him, he said hefound a freedom to confer with him and the other Friends about him, and ifanything should be proposed as to medicine that did not come through defiledchannels or oppressive hands, he should be willing to consider and take it, sofar as he found freedom.
Second day. -- He said he felt the disorder to affect his head, so that hecould think little and but as a child, and desired, if his understanding shouldbe more affected, to have nothing given him that those about him knew he had atestimony against.
Third day. -- He uttered the following prayer: -- "'O Lord, my God! theamazing horrors of darkness were gathered around me, and covered me all over,and I saw no way to go forth; I felt the depth and extent of the misery of myfellow-creatures separated from the divine harmony, and it was heavier than Icould bear, and I was crushed down under it; I lifted up my hand, I stretchedout my arm, but there was none to help me; I looked round about and was amazed.
In the depth of misery, O Lord! I remembered that Thou art omnipotent; that Ihad called Thee Father; and I felt that I loved Thee, and I was made quiet inmy will, and I waited for deliverance from Thee. Thou hadst pity upon me whenno man could help me. I saw that meekness under suffering was showed to us inthe most affecting example of Thy Son, and Thou taught me to follow Him, and Isaid, 'Thy will, O Father, be done.'"Fourth day morning. -- Being asked how he felt himself he meekly answered, "Idon't know that I have slept this night; I feel the disorder making itsprogress, but my mind is mercifully preserved in stillness and peace." Sometime after, he said he was sensible that the pains of death must be hard tobear, and if he escaped them now, he must sometime pass through them, and hedid not know that he could be better prepared, but had no will in it. He saidhe had settled his outward affairs to his mind, had taken leave of his wife andfamily as never to return, leaving them to the divine protection, adding,"Though I feel them near to me at this time, yet I have freely given them up,having a hope that they will be provided for." And a little after said, "Thistrial is made easier than I could have thought, my will being wholly takenaway; if I was anxious for the event it would have been harder; but I am not,and my mind enjoys a perfect calm."In the night, a young woman having given him something to drink, he said, "Mychild, thou seemest very kind to me, a poor creature; the Lord will reward theefor it." Awhile after he cried out with great earnestness of spirit, "O myFather! my Father! how comfortable art Thou to my soul in this trying season!"Being asked if he could take a little nourishment, after some pause he replied,"My child, I cannot tell what to say to it; I seem nearly arrived where my soulshall have rest from all its troubles." After giving in something to beinserted in his journal, he said, "I believe the Lord will now excuse me fromexercises of this kind; and I see no work but one, which is to be the lastwrought by me in this world; the messenger will come that will release me fromall these troubles, but it must be in the Lord's time, which I am waiting for."He said he had laboured to do whatever was required according to the abilityreceived, in the rememberance of which he had peace; and though the disorder was strong at times, and would like a whirlwind come over his mind, yet it hadhitherto been kept steady and centred in everlasting love; adding, "And if thatbe mercifully continued, I ask and desire no more." Another time he said he hadlong had a view of visiting this nation, and some time before he came, had adream, in which he saw himself in the northern parts of it, and that the springof the Gospel was opened in Him much as it was in the beginning of Friends,such as George Fox and William Dewsbury, and he saw the different states of thepeople as clear as he had ever seen flowers in a garden; but in his going alonghe was suddenly stopped, though he could not see for what end; but, lookingtoward home, fell into a flood of tears, which waked him.
At another time he said, "My draught seemed strongest towards the north, andI mentioned in my own Monthly Meeting, that attending the Quarterly Meeting atYork, and being there, looked like home to me."Fifth day night. -- Having repeated consented to take medicine, but withouteffect, the Friend then waiting on him said through distress, "What shall I donow?" He answered with great composure, "Rejoice evermore, and in everythinggive thanks"; but added a little after, "This is something hard to come at."On sixth day morning he broke forth early in supplication on this wise: "OLord, it was Thy power that enabled me to forsake sin in my youth, and I havefelt Thy bruises for disobedience, but as I bowed under them Thou healedst me,continuing a father and a friend; I feel Thy power now, and I beg that in theapproaching trying moment Thou wilt keep my heart steadfast unto Thee." On hisgiving directions to a Friend concerning some little things, she said, "I willtake care, but hope thou wilt live to order them thyself." He replied, "My hopeis in Christ, and though I may seem a little better, a change in the disordermay soon happen, and my little strength be dissolved, and if it so happen Ishall be gathered to my everlasting rest." On her saying she did not doubtthat, but could not help mourning to see so many faithful servants removed atso low a time, he said, "All good cometh from the Lord, whose power is thesame, and He can work as He sees best." The same day he had directions givenabout wrapping his corpse; perceiving a Friend to weep, he said, "I wouldrather thou wouldst guard against weeping for me, my sister; I sorrow not,though I have had some painful conflicts, but now they seem over, and matterswell settled; and I look at the face of my dear Redeemer, for sweet is Hisvoice, and His countenance is comely."First day, 4th of Tenth Month. -- Being very weak and in general difficult tobe understood, he uttered a few words in commemoration of the Lord's goodness,and added, "How tenderly have I been waited on in this time of affliction, inwhich I may say in Job's words, tedious days and 'wearisome nights areappointed to me'; and how many are spending their time and money in vanity andsuperfluities, while thousands and tens of thousands want the necessaries of life, who might be relieved by them, and their distress at such a time as thisin some degree softened by the administering of suitable things."Second day morning. -- The apothecary, who appeared very anxious to help him,being present, he queried about the probability of such a load of matter beingthrown off his weak body; and the apothecary making some remarks implying hethought it might, he spoke with an audible voice on this wise: "My dependenceis on the Lord Jesus, who I trust will forgive my sins, which is all I hopefor; and if it be His will to raise up this body again, I am content; and if todie, I am resigned; but if thou canst not be easy without trying to assistnature, I submit." After this, his throat was so much affected that it was verydifficult for him to speak so as to be understood, and he frequently wrote whenhe wanted anything. About the second hour on fourth day morning he asked forpen and ink, and at several times, with much difficulty, wrote thus: "I believemy being here is in the wisdom of Christ; I know not as to life or death."About a quarter before six the same morning he seemed to fall into an easysleep, which continued about half an hour, when, seeming to awake, he breatheda few times with more difficulty, and expired without sigh, groan, or struggle.
Appendix 1
The TESTIMONY of Friends in Yorkshire at their Quarterly Meeting, held at Yorkthe 24th and 25th of the Third Month, 1773, concerning John Woolman, of MountHolly, in the Province of New Jersey, North America, who departed this life atthe house of our Friend Thomas Priestman, in the suburbs of this city, the 7thof Tenth Month, 1772, and was interred in the burial-ground of Friends the 9thof the same, aged about fifty-two years.
THIS our valuable friend having been under a religious engagement for some timeto visit Friends in this nation, and more especially us in the northern parts,undertook the same in full concurrence and near sympathy with his friends andbrethren at home, as appeared by certificates from the Monthly and QuarterlyMeetings to which he belonged, and from the Spring Meeting of ministers andelders held at Philadelphia for Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
He arrived in the city of London the beginning of the last Yearly Meeting,and, after attending that meeting, traveled northward, visiting the QuarterlyMeetings of Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Northamptonshire, Oxfordshire, andWorcestershire, and divers particular meetings in his way.
He visited many meetings on the west side of this country, also some inLancashire and Westmoreland, from whence he came to our Quarterly Meeting inthe last Ninth Month, and, though much out of health, yet was enabled to attendall the sittings of that meeting except the last.
His disorder, which proved the smallpox, increased speedily upon him, and wasvery afflicting, under which he was supported in much meekness, patience, andChristian fortitude. To those who attended him in his illness, his mindappeared to be centred in divine love, under the precious influence whereof webelieve he finished his course, and entered into the mansions of everlastingrest.
He was a man endued with a large natural capacity, and, being obedient to themanifestations of divine grace, having in patienct and humility endured manydeep baptisms, he became thereby santified and fitted for the Lord's work, andwas truly serviceable in His Church. Dwelling in awful feel and watchfulness,he was careful in his public appearences to feel the putting forth of thedivine hand, so that the spring of the gospel ministry often flowed through himwith great sweetness and purity, as a refreshing stream to the weary travellerstowards the city of God. Skilful in dividing the Word, he was furnished by Himin whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, to communicatefreely to the several states of the people where his lot was cast. His conductat other times was seasoned with like watchful circumspection and attention tothe guidance of divine wisdom, which rendered his whold conversation uniformlyedifying.
He was fully persuaded that, as the life of Christ comes to reign in theearth, all abuse and unnecessary oppression, both of the human and brutecreation, will come to an end; but under the sense of a deep revolt and anoverflowing stream of unrighteousness, his life has often been a life ofmourning.
He was deeply concerned on account of that inhuman and iniquitous practice ofmaking slaves of the people of Africa, or holding them in that state, and onthat account we understand he hath not only written some books, but travelledmuch on the continent of America, in order to make the negro masters(especially those in profession with us) sensible of the evil of such apractice; and though in this journey to England he was far removed from theoutward sight of their sufferings, yet his deep exercise of mind and frequentconcern to open the miserable state of this deeply injured people remained, asappears by a short treatise he wrote in this journey. His testimony in the lastmeeting he attended was on this subject, wherein he remarked that we as aSociety, when under outward sufferings, had often found it our concern to lay them before those in authority, and thereby, in the Lord's time, had obtainedrelief, so he to our notice, that we may, as way may open, represent theirsufferings in an individual if not in a Society capacity to those in authority.
Deeply sensible that the desire to gratify people's inclinations in luxuriesand superfluities is the principal ground of oppression, and the occasion ofmany unnecessary wants, he believed it to be his duty to be a patter of greatself-denial with respect to the things of this life, and earnestly to labourwith Friends in the meekness of wisdom, to impress on their minds the greatimportance of our testimony in these things, recommending to the guidance ofthe blessed truth in this and all other concerns, and cautioning such as areexperienced therein against contenting themselves with acting by the standardof others, but to be careful to make the standard of truth manifested to themthe measure of their obedience. For, said he, "that purity of life whichproceeds from faithfulness in following the spirit of truth, that state whereour minds are devoted to serve God, and all our wants are bounded by Hiswisdom; this habitation has often been opened before me as a place ofretirement for the children of the light, where they may stand separated fromthat thwich disordereth and confuseth the affairs of society, and where we havea testimony of our innocence in the hearts of those who behold us."We conclude with fervent desires that we as a people may thus by our examplepromote the Lord's work in the earth, and, our hearts being prepared, may unitein prayer to the great Lord of the harvest, that as in His infinite wisdom Hehath greatly stripped the Church by removing of late divers faithful ministersand elders, He may be pleased to send forth many more faithful labourers intoHis harvest.
Appendix 2
A TESTIMONY of the Monthly Meeting of Friends, held in Burlington, the Firstday of the Eighth Month, in the year of our Lord 1774, concerning our esteemedfriend, John Woolman, deceased.
HE was born in Northampton, in the county of Burlington and province of WestNew Jersey, in the Eighth Month, 1720, of religious parents, who instructed himvery early in the principles of the Christian religion as professed by thepeople called Quakers, which he esteemed a blessing to him even in his youngeryears, tending to preserve him from the infection of wicked children. But,through the workings of the enemy and the levity incident to youth, he frequently deviated from those parental precepts, by which he laid a renewedfoundation for repentance that was finally succeeded by a "godly sorrow not tobe repented of"; and so he became acquainted with that sanctifying power whichqualifies for true gospel ministry, into which he was called about the twenty-second year of his age; and by a faithful use of the talents committed to himhe experienced an increase, until he arrived at the state of a father, capableof dividing the word aright to the different states he ministered unto,dispensing milk to babes and meat to those of riper years. Thus he found theefficacy of that power to arise, which, in his own expressions, "prepares thecreature to stand like a trumpet through which the Lord speaks to His people."He was a loving husband, a tender father, and was very humane to every part ofthe creation under his care.
His concern for the poor and those in affliction was evident by his visits tothem, whom he frequently relieved by his assistance and charity. He was formany years deeply exercised on account of the poor enslaved Africans, whosecause, as he mentioned, lay almost continually upon him; and he laboured toobtain liberty for those captives both in public and in private, and wasfavoured to see his endeavours crowned with considerable success. He wasparticularly desirous that Friends should not be instrumental to lay burdens onthis oppressed people, but should remember the days of suffering from whichthey had been providentially delivered, that, if times of trouble shouldreturn, no injustice dealt to those in slavery might rise in judgment againstus, but, being clear, we might on such occasions address the Almighty with adegree of confidence for His interposition and relief, being particularlycareful as to himself not to contenance slavery even by the use of thoseconveniences of life which were furnished by their labour.
He was desirous to have his own mind and the minds of others redeemed fromthe pleasures and immoderate profits of this world, and to fix them on thosejoys which fade not away; his principal care being after a life of purity,endeavouring to avoid not only the grosser pollutions, but those also which,appearing in a more refined dress, are not sufficiently guarded against by somewell-disposed people. In the latter part of his life, he was remarkable for theplainness and simplicity of his dress, and as much as possible avoided the useof plate, costly furniture, and feasting, thereby endeavouring to become anexample of temperance and self-denial which he believed himself called unto;and he was favoured with peace therein, although it carried the appearance ofgreat austerity in the view of some. He was very moderate in his charges in theway of business, and in his desires after gain; and though a man of industry,he avoided and strove much to lead others out of extreme labour and anxietyafter perishable things, being desirous that the strength of our bodies mightnot be spent in procuring things unprofitable, and that we might use moderation and kindness to the brute animals under our care, to prize the use of them as agreat favour, and by no means to abuse them; that the gifts of Providenceshould be thankfully received and applied to the uses they were designed for.
He several times opened a school at Mount Holly, for the instruction of poorFriend' children and others, being concerned for their help and improvementtherein. His love and care for the rising youths among us was truly great,recommending to parents and those who have the charge of them to chooseconscientious and pious tutors, saying, "It is a lovely sight to beholdinnocent children"; and that to "labour for their help against that which wouldmar the beauty of their minds is a debt we owe them."His ministry was sound, very deep and penetrating, sometimes pointout out thedangerous situation which indulgence and custom led into, frequently exhortingothers, especially the youth, not to be discouraged at the difficulties whichoccur, but to press after purity. He often expressed an earnest engagement thatpure wisdom should be attended to, which would lead into lowliness of mind andresignation to the divine will, in which state small possessions here would besufficient.
In transacting the affairs of the discipline, his judgment was sound andclear, and he was very useful in treating with those who had done amiss; hevisited such in a private way in that plainess which truth dictates, showinggreat tenderness and Christian forbearance. He was a constant attender of ourYearly Meeting, in which he was a good example and particularly useful,assisting in the business thereof with great weight and attention. He severaltimes visited most of the meetings of Friends in this and the neighbouringprovinces, with the concurrence of the Monthly Meeting to which he belonged,and we have reason to believe he did good service therein, generally or alwaysexpressing at his return how it had fared with him and the evidence of peace inhis mind for thus performing his duty. He was often concerned with otherFriends in the important service of visiting families, which he was enabled togo through to satisfaction.
In the minutes of the meeting of ministers and elders for this quarter, atthe foot of a list of the members of that meeting, made about five years beforehis death, we find in his handwriting the following observation andreflections:
"As looking over the minutes made by persons who have put off this body hathsometimes revived in me a thought how ages pass away, so this list may probablyrevive a like thought in some, when I and the rest of the persons above namedare centered in another state of being. The Lord who was the guide of my youth hath in tender mercies helped me hitherto; He hath healed my wounds; He hathhelped me out of grievous entanglements; He remains to be the strength of mylife, to whom I desire to devote myself in time and in eternity.
"John Woolman"In the Twelth Month, 1771, he acquainted this meeting that he felt his minddrawn towards a religious visit to Friends in some parts of England,particularly in Yorkshire. In the First Month, 1772, he obtained ourcertificate, which was approved and indorsed by our Quarterly Meeting, and bythe Half-Year's Meeting of ministers and elders at Philadelphia. He embarked onhis voyage in the Fifth Month, and arrived in London in the Sixth Monthfollowing, at the time of their Annual Meeting in that city. During his shortvisit to Friends in that kingdom, we are informed that his services wereacceptable and edifying. In his last illness he uttered many lively andcomfortable expressions, being "resigned, having no will either to live ordie," as appears by the testimony of Friends at York in Great Britain, in thesuburbs whereof, at the house of our friend Thomas Priestman, he died of thesmallpox, on the 7th of the Tenth Month, 1772, and was buried in Friends'
burial-ground in that city, on the 9th of the same, after a solid meeting heldon the occasion at their great meeting-house. He was aged near fifty-two,having been a minister upwards of thirty years, during which time he belongedto Mount Holly particular meeting, which he diligently attended when at homeand in health of body, and his labours of love and pious care for theprosperity of Friends in the blessed truth, we hope may not be forgotten, butthat his good works may be remembered to edification.
Signed in and by order of the said meeting, bySAMUEL ALLISON, Clerk.
Read and approved at our Quarterly Meeting, held in Burlington the 29th ofthe Eighth Month, 1774.
Signed by order of the said meeting,DANIEL SMITH, Clerk.
The journey had been long, but they were nearing the end. The mountains loomed in the distance, their peaks shrouded in mist. The travelers knew that the hardest part of their journey was yet to come, but they pressed on with determination.
They had come too far to turn back now.
---CHAPTER END---
Chapter Two: A Dangerous Path
The path wound its way up the mountain, narrow and treacherous. One wrong step could send them tumbling into the abyss below. The wind howled around them, making it difficult to hear anything else.
But they couldn’t afford to stop. Not now.
---CHAPTER END---
Chapter Three: A Glimmer of Hope
After days of climbing, they finally reached the summit. Below them lay a valley, lush and green, a stark contrast to the barren mountains they had just traversed. For the first time in days, they felt a glimmer of hope.
Perhaps their journey was not in vain after all.
---CHAPTER END---
Chapter Four: The Final Test
But the valley was not as peaceful as it seemed. As they descended, they noticed strange shapes moving in the distance. The ground trembled beneath their feet, and a sense of dread settled over them once more.
The clouds began to gather on the horizon, dark and menacing. The villagers watched from their homes as the sky turned an ominous shade of gray. The wind howled through the streets, carrying with it the first drops of rain.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
They knew something terrible was coming, but they didn’t know how to stop it.
Chapter Six - The Broken Alliance
The village council had always stood united, but now, cracks were beginning to show. Old alliances were breaking, and new ones were being formed. Everyone was looking out for themselves, and the village was on the brink of collapse.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
No one knew whom to trust anymore.
Chapter Seven - A Ray of Hope
Just when all seemed lost, a traveler arrived at the village gates. She carried with her a message of hope—news of a place untouched by the storm. But the journey would be treacherous, and not everyone was willing to take the risk.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The villagers had to decide whether to stay and fight or leave in search of safety.
Chapter Eight - Into the Wilderness
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The night was darker than usual, the moon obscured by thick clouds. It was the kind of night where even the bravest souls stayed close to their fires, wary of the shadows that seemed to stretch just a little too long.
But in the quiet of the night, a whisper could be heard. It was faint at first, barely more than a breath of wind. As it grew louder, it became clear that it wasn’t the wind at all. It was a voice, calling from somewhere deep within the darkness.
The decision was made. A small group of villagers set out into the wilderness, leaving behind their homes and everything they had ever known. The path ahead was uncertain, and danger lurked around every corner. But they pressed on, driven by the hope of a new beginning.
The village was peaceful, the fields full of golden wheat swaying in the gentle breeze. It was a time of prosperity, of happiness. But even in times of peace, danger can be lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The storm was coming, and the village was not prepared.
---
Chapter II: the night of terror
It began with a single scream. Then, all at once, the peaceful village was thrown into chaos. Dark figures moved in the night, taking everything they could find, leaving nothing but destruction in their wake.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
By morning, the village was unrecognizable, a place of sorrow and fear.
---
Chapter III: whispers in the night
The survivors huddled together, unsure of what to do next. Every creak and groan of the old houses set their nerves on edge. Some spoke of leaving, of running as far from the village as possible, while others insisted on staying and fighting.
But no one knew who, or what, they were fighting.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
---
Chapter IV: a flicker of hope
Just when all seemed lost, a flicker of hope appeared on the horizon. A band of travelers, weary from their own long journey, stumbled upon the village. They brought with them stories of other places, other villages facing the same terror.
Perhaps together, they could find a way to survive.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
The relic had been found, but it came with a price. As the elders gathered to unlock its power, a terrible realization dawned on them. Someone would have to be sacrificed. The relic demanded blood, and without it, there would be no salvation.
